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If You Need Another Reason to Root Against Tim Sylvia


(That poor, poor woman.)

The Maine-iac on Sherdog’s Savage Dog Show:

“I’ve had sex before with the belt on. That was back in the Ricco Rodriguez days. The night I won the belt I had a sexual experience with the belt on. But hey, I was 25 years old and it was the biggest thing that ever had happened to me in my life. The girl was like hey, are you going to take that thing off. And I said no, I’m not…I’m wearing it and if you have a problem with it, then I’m leaving. And I hate to say it, but if I do win the belt again, then this time it’s never coming off. I’m going to wear it a lot more.”

You hear that, ladies who might consider sleeping with Tim Sylvia? He will bang you with his belt on. That’s a promise. As if sex with Tim wasn’t an awful enough experience, with his grating New England accent and his loose stomach that even steroids couldn’t shore up, he will let you know, at every possible moment, who the champ is.

We cannot allow this to happen again. If you have a daughter, a sister — if you have a mother — you need to know what’s at stake here. So this Saturday, we urge you to pray to your Higher Power for a victory by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (he’s the guy that Tim will be fighting at UFC 81; I know we haven’t talked about him much, sorry). If you want to pray that Tim Sylvia stops having “sexual experiences” altogether, that’s cool too.

If you’re not convinced, just imagine Tim Sylvia taking a dump, totally naked except for his UFC belt and reading an old copy of Field and Stream. Maybe now you’ll start to appreciate the enormity of the situation…

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Choaderfiled- January 29, 2008 at 5:27 pm
YEA RIGHT. Why are you such an H-mo? The heavy weight division in the UFC is very mediocre. if you havent noticed. trying to back Tim Sylvia shows how much you know about mma. Yea, sylvia really displays his vicious striking skills, or brutal ground and pound and uncany submissions game time after time doesnt he. have you seen any of his fights recently? he gets singled out because he's produced the worst fights in the division for the past 2 years, With the exception of couture throwing him around like a bitch for 5 rounds (which clearly showcased Sylvias talents). Only he can take an exciting fighter like Vera and turn the fight into a hugging contest.
lolwut- January 29, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Tim will win, mark my words. Mir will win too i want brock to win tho, he also beetter come out to that here comes the pain music
yeah right- January 29, 2008 at 2:08 am
Rich is a pussy. Probably a 135 lb pussy who wishes he was tough. Hey, rich tell me the names of the people involved in the last really spectacular ufc heavy weight championship fight. Tim is as exicting a fighter as every heavy weight in the ufc. For anyone who says that he has no skills , all that your doing is showing that your stupid. (Choaderfeild) if you are really a mma fan, (if you are you suck at it) what you are saying is that the champions of the ufc are untalented douchbags. Go back to professional wrasleling you wanna-be fan.
Cory- January 29, 2008 at 1:54 am
Silvia may be a joke but Damn i'd tap that chick in the picture
Turdburglar- January 28, 2008 at 11:26 pm
that picture should be submited to www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

he'd definitley win DB of the week.
totaldb- January 28, 2008 at 10:55 pm
If only he told the real reason he likes to keep the belt on- it's used as a makeshift holster for his fried chicken and PBR. Obvi.
Rich- January 28, 2008 at 10:42 pm
i really do think that Tim has totally tarnished the UFC.

i wouldn't mind if he died.

oh, and, Frank Mir, Andrei Arlovski, and Randy Couture should go get their shit checked.

only God knows what kinda STD they could've contracted from wearing that belt.

he really does have no skill.

but watch.. i'm sure he'll find some pussy-ass way to beat Nog.

i hop Nog makes it to where Tim can't uncross his eyes for the rest of his life.
TitoG- January 28, 2008 at 10:16 pm
That's fine keep wearing the belt, we'll just keep making fun of you.
Choaderfeild- January 28, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Tim Sylvia is a douche. 5 out of his last 6 fights were horrific decisions that gave the sport a bad name. Sylvia exposed a major flaw in the system: having no talent/skills and just being a huge meat stick can get you a title.
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