MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

I’m Totally Up In This B*tch, You Guys

“Remember when ReX13 was just the goofy extra?”

Best part of being a not-at-all professional blogger contributing to this website? Being able to blatantly violate a CagePotato ban without fearing any reprisals from the powers that be.  Because let’s face it, the expectations for yours truly are set lower than the credibility  bar to be a 2012 Republican candidate in good ol’ ‘Merica.  (Suck it, Dundas, i can pick low-hanging political fruit, too!)  You bastards can expect plenty more rule-breaking from me in the future, because i color outside the lines.  I’m a rebel. I walk on the wildside. I do not consistently capitalize self-referential pronouns. It’s just how i am.  At least until BG and GusBuster pull my editing privileges–feel free to start a pool on how long i last, provided i can get in on the action.

Some of you may have noticed that i haven’t been around much lately, and you may have heard a nasty rumor that i was hospitalized after taking part in an underground hotdog-eating contest that was unsanctioned by the Major League Eating government body.  I’d like to squash those rumors, but since my reported performance was on par with that Kobayashi cat, i’ll just let you all use your imaginations as to my status for the past month. 

Thanks to the weekend crew for soldiering on with the Bellator coverage, but i could have done without Goldstein typing up a succinct but LOL-worthy recap of Hector Lombard‘s performance.  Way to go Beej, now stop making me look bad.  I’ll still be sharing my own perspective on the goings-on at BFC, even though i deuced out for the last two cards of the season.  Now i know that there are literally tens of you saying, “Oh noes, the Bellator season is over! Now where will we get a regular serving of MMA competition on the cheap?”  Relax:  Bellator will return for a full season in September, plus they have a few shows planned for the summer to tide us over until then. 

Oh and by the way, Potato Nation, i really need you to pick up your game in the caption contests and commenting strings. Assuming that you are out of practice, expect me to frequently post WTF-worthy pics and encourage you to caption them, because the less work i have to do, the better. Like having kids and orgies, if i can get you to entertain one another and still take the credit, i win. Do your worst, Nation.  No, there will be no prizes, save the amusement and admiration of your fellow readers. Similarly, i’ll be looking to resurrect the old “Ask the Potato” feature (so submit some damn questions), as well as a new regular feature involving fictional conversations between MMA personalities, since you have received our previous attempts at fictional entertainment so well.

So that’s it, Nation. Just wanted to drop a line letting you know that i’m still alive, still linking to other peoples’ hard work to entertain you, and yes, Drano, you still my boy. But damn, ya’ll — can we take it easy on MRuss? It’s only a matter of time until some big media outlet needs a real MMA reporter, and trust me, you don’t want me trying to pick up that slack, too. I really suck at interviews. Or at least, that’s what you guys have said.

[RX]

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tdpwent- May 23, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Love the Vintage WEC pic at the top of the article ;)
ccman- May 23, 2011 at 8:27 pm
All canadians are butt sore, nothing better to do in 6 feet of snow at lumberjack camps.

And now someone is going to try to convince me rex will be more like pre-published \ pre BG. Boston butt buddy? Yeah right, and yahoo canada is prominent... to all 45 canadians maybe (seriously though, can't be as bad as mags and wishy washy coffield could it?) Do you write like its strange brew script?
OptimusGryme- May 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm
you'd better not fuck this up, you gutless wonder
WuTangClan- May 23, 2011 at 7:11 pm
MRuss is butthurt.
dranokills- May 23, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Thats it...my boy Rex gave me a shout out, and a request.
because you asked it, it is now SO. I will not bust on MRuss anymore.
Done.
So damn happy to have you writing for us full time Rexy bro, now put a bug in Goldbergs ass over there and get these spambots shut down, ok?
Nut Puncher 9000- May 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Good Luck Pimpin. As soon as you are chewed up and Rexpelled for failing to meet Rexspectations, I will be here to take your place. Watch your back homie cause my comments and captions are coming foo!

...Im going to go kill myself now. "Rexspectations?" Really?...fuck.
ReX13- May 23, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Hey, does anyone know how i link to stuff so that it opens in another tab instead of taking you away from the Great Potato, which thereby requires a person to return to CP, which counts as another hit on the site? Waitaminute....
Personally, i just click my mouse wheel, but whatever.
VIVA!
Also, El Guapo, wrong link. Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54VJWHL2K3I
(i'm the DM)
Get Off Me- May 23, 2011 at 12:55 pm
@Google
Chael tested positive.
Rory won't test positive.
What MRuss had done as I pointed out in the article about Rory was ironic.
MRuss used images of Chaels back POST test results to point out possible signs of steroid abuse.
MRuss took a flattering photo of Rory's back from the Toronto Card to try and downplay his bacne to show that he is not using steroids.
Chael's lawyers can't even protect him, how can you protect this guy.
google- May 23, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Yea, you got it. USA. Just like when you reported how Chael Sonnen's back acne was from steroids, but with your Home boy Rory Macdonald it was "Forget the fact that MacDonald spends the majority of his free time on the mats or in the cage drenched in sweat rolling and sparring with his teammates. Because he has acne and an increase and size and strength, he must be on something." You keep protecting your's I will do the same.
intercept440- May 23, 2011 at 12:39 pm
ahhhh.. nothing like a monday with midgets...i mean it doesnt get any better than this does it?? unless ya got a case of old milwaukee a couple of whores, and a fishing pole i mean
Mike Russell- May 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I guess Fighters Only doesn't count either since it isn't from the US of A.
El Guapo- May 23, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Before you go all apeshit on me, let me explain. T-Rex is extinct and Wrex in Effex is probably extinct, seeing as their heyday was the early 90's. They might be doing Christian rap(shudder). Rex Grossman DID go the Superbowl but that's because Da Bears D was the shit that year. So that, combined with Rexy's dance moves.... Game-set-match, playa.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzgkxc07si8
El Guapo- May 23, 2011 at 11:51 am
Sexy Rexy > Rex Grossman > Wrex in Effex > T-Rex
RwilsonR- May 23, 2011 at 11:44 am
Sure, MRuss. Fool me once, shame on... well, you know the rest.
At least you guys decided to give Rex more than MMA's redheaded stepchild to report on. Looking forward to him joining the team.
Stak40- May 23, 2011 at 11:42 am
Where is Dan the Viking, this doesnt feel right until he hates on it?
just some dong- May 23, 2011 at 11:37 am
Hate! Hate! Hate!
rlh61- May 23, 2011 at 11:34 am
It's like just yesterday you were 'rex'...then pretty soon it was 'Rex13'...follwed by 'ReX13'...now it's 'REX-muthaphukin-13, bitch'...ah, the memories.
ExpectJesusBro- May 23, 2011 at 11:20 am
Gotta love sentences that start out with "All due respect, but..." or " No offence, but..." almost always followed by a disrespectful or offensive conclusion.
ExpectJesusBro- May 23, 2011 at 11:04 am
hahaha... sorry about the "you guys"... you guys. my bad.
ExpectJesusBro- May 23, 2011 at 11:03 am
Good to hear MRuss. I was wondering myself, what ever happend with that. CP had me thinking big DW might have intercepted it or something. I like @getoffme's idea of one user submitted article per day, hell, even per week would be good. Spice it up a bit in here, you guys.
Maine Blazer- May 23, 2011 at 11:02 am
Hey Rexy, with all due respect *snicker* could you have someone over there teach you how to have the links open in a new tab instead of leaving the site?

Smooches Rexy
google- May 23, 2011 at 11:01 am
That shit don't count, its for Canada. Rex said Big Media Outlet. Nice try though.......
Mike Russell- May 23, 2011 at 10:53 am
Overeem has the questions and is supposed to be sending them back this week.
RwilsonR- May 23, 2011 at 10:45 am
So Goodridge bails after two weeks, we get teased by the idea that Overeem actually might care enough to correspond with us, and ultimately all we are offered is an Ask the Potato feature with glorified member of this comment section???
Awesome!!!
Rex, can you please answer all of our questions in the way you would assume Overeem might answer them?
Stak40- May 23, 2011 at 10:45 am
People always say you should be careful for what you wish for...
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