Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

In Light of Pat Healy’s Positive Marijuana Test, Bryan Caraway Declares Hatred of All Things Irie

(A stern anti-marijuana crusader hand-in-hand with the marijuana king of Oakland? Looks like Martin Scorsese just found his next screenplay. Photo via Esther Lin/MMA Fighting)

There’s really not much more that can be said about Pat Healy’s — or really, any other fighter’spositive test for marijuana and subsequent suspension/fines. As insane as it is that we live in a world where marijuana usage often carries a higher penalty for MMA fighters than that of steroids, it’s also a rule that every fighter understands the moment they become an employee of the UFC. Simply put, if you’re not smart enough to understand exactly how long marijuana metabolites stay in your system prior to a fight, you pretty much deserve what’s coming to you. It’s the reason I picked a line of work that literally allows me to blow bong hits at my computer screen while writing this. Not that I am — as with alcohol, I don’t believe in smoking before noon. On weekdays.

That’s not to say that we relish whenever a fighter is busted for marijuana, in fact it’s usually quite the opposite. In the case of Healy, he had the biggest (and possibly most exciting) win of his career negated and over 100k in bonus money revoked because he liked to kick back with a little Wildwood Weed after a day of getting his ass kicked. It’s a better excuse than most of us have, but don’t expect the man who received his revoked $65,000 “Submission of the Night” bonus, Bryan Caraway, to offer him any sympathy. In an interview with MMAJunkie, Caraway shot from the hip when discussing his feelings for all of us you dirty, pot-smoking degenerates:

I couldn’t be more happy, and it was an insanely pleasant surprise

All I’ve got to say is that’s some expensive weed. I like Healy a lot. I came up through the fighting ranks with him. We used to train together at Team Quest. I love the guy. But I have absolutely zero remorse or guilt.

I hate weed. I cannot stand it. I’ve never tried it. I’ve never smoked a drug in my life. So I have absolutely zero tolerance for people that do it. I don’t care if it’s legal in some places or not. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. Whether it’s legal in real life or not, they tell you to follow the rules. You need to follow the rules.

While Caraway is certainly correct in regards to “the rules,” I always find it baffling when someone declares their staunch opposition to a substance, law, or cause while simultaneously stating that they have no experience or understanding of the substance/law/cause upon which their opinion is based.

Look, gun control is one thing — although I personally think the same rules apply — but to say that you cannot tolerate people who use a substance as harmless as weed regardless of its legality is plain ignorant. It’s also a setback of being raised in a society based on “freedom” — we rally behind the liberties and causes that apply to our individual lives while declaring that we have the right to deny our fellow man of different freedoms without even attempting to understand their point of view. It’s hypocrisy at its finest, and Caraway seems to fit this mold to a tee. To quote Honest Abe, “Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves.”

But look at me, getting on my soapbox again. The fact is, Healy was aware of the potential consequences the moment he took a puff of that sweet, sweet herb, and now he will have deal with those consequences. If he doesn’t like it, maybe he should find a different line of work. Or just sign with Bellator.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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holeeball- May 17, 2013 at 2:50 am
Let's hope this stupid fucking caroway idiot never turns to islam. He sure sounds like one of those ignorant fucks.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 16, 2013 at 10:18 pm
I don't listen to anybody who is named after a seed commonly used to flavor rye bread. So there.
Nippletwist- May 16, 2013 at 9:00 pm
who cares what this ****ing loser thinks? nobody even knows who this clown is. stealing another mans submission bonus? after healy laid his balls on the line in that ****ing grueling gutsy performance against miller. and this little weasel wants to come out and say some stupid shit after healy lost all that money? what a ****ing scumbag, **** this retard.

he doesn't know what he's talking about. he goes "I hate weed. I cannot stand it. I've never tried it. I've never smoked a drug in my life. So I have absolutely zero tolerance for people that do it." so you've never tried it, don't know anything about it, but yet somehow you hate it and can't stand it?? what? talk about being a ****ing ignorant prejudiced shithead. he has zero tolerance for people who smoke weed? that's called ****ing prejudice, millions of hardworking, good, honest people smoke weed. this kid should kill himself.

and this is the first and last time anyones gonna here this little shits name too, because he's a ****ing nobody. at least healy is a fighter that matters.
BaghdadBob- May 17, 2013 at 7:58 am
So if Dana said, "Hey, Nippletwist, this $65,000 is now yours because the original recipient broke the rules" you'd turn down that $65k on principle, right? Bull-fucking-shit you would. Give it a rest.
rpn452- May 16, 2013 at 5:03 pm
BaghdadBob, if people who shared a belief of yours were being fined, fired, and/or imprisoned for those beliefs despite harming nobody, you'd probably be sensitive about the issue too.
masterbaitntackle- May 16, 2013 at 4:49 pm
Isn't Bryan Carraway the same cunt-flap that threatened to knock Ronda Rousey's teeth down her throat? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck whatever b.s. he's spewing
creepy- May 16, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Right, you shouldn't be against a drug unless you're using said drug, otherwise, you're a hypocrite. Wait, what?
BaghdadBob- May 16, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Potheads are so sensitive. Don't you pussies smoke to numb the pain? Apparently it's not working.
the silver hawaiian- May 16, 2013 at 1:42 pm
I think Caraway must hate people who aren't bitches because he's never tried being anything but a bitch.
rpn452- May 16, 2013 at 12:44 pm
"I’ve never smoked a drug in my life . . . I only snort, pop, drink, or inject."

We're all so proud of you, Bryan, for keeping your lungs healthy when you do the drugs that you prefer.
crappiefloper- May 16, 2013 at 12:17 pm
Oh, wise man once say,"we have only our own experience from which to gain perspective"
So wise,so wise the Dali llama.
For one, wtf is a fighter doing expressing opinions that don't promote a fight,and did DW sign off on this interview before hand? So there is that...
Furthermore..."harmless" is a big statement.i tend to see that weed not being legalized, then having the holy revenue raising SHIT taxed out of it is the real harm to society.
But rules is rules. Period. When you bind yourself with your contract to play by them, then that's it.
And for the record, most of us have never, oh, I don't know....participated in a gang rape. And yet most of us will agree that Team Lloyd Irvin maybe shouldn't go around doing that
Also up yours for making me type
SonOfSerbia- May 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm
one more reason for me to hate Brian Caraway...feed him to the wolves for his statement...make him fight Faber, McDonald, or Easton
leonscull- May 16, 2013 at 11:17 am
I guarantee, that if Caraway takes a good two hits of weed, watches a funny movie, eats a sandwich, he won't hate weed anymore.

Don't knock it till you try it! ;)
DaltonSwayze- May 16, 2013 at 11:13 am
What the hell is up with that throwaway gun control line?

Side note, apparently Caraway's job doesn't occur in "real life"
the silver hawaiian- May 16, 2013 at 11:01 am
Is that you Bones Jones?

Caraway's statement has revealed that he's a dumb jock who lacks any perspective other than his own experience.
ReX13- May 16, 2013 at 11:00 am
Mob mentality? Whatchoo smoking, cman? I want some.
Nippletwist- May 16, 2013 at 11:04 pm
he just has no argument, so he's calling it "mob mentality" to try to marginalize the fact that multiple people pointed out the obvious reasons he's wrong.
Deadpanda- May 16, 2013 at 10:59 am
Cman is certainly high on himself today. Good on you, you can fix all of the problems in the world with your petulant thoughts & pithy retorts.

Caraway is not a hypocrite, as you mentioned, but he is a huge douche for shitting on someone for something he knows nothing about. Caraway should shut up & take the bonus that he was lucky enough to get out of the pocket of someone he 'liked a lot & came up the ranks with.'

Save your vocal minority bullshit for someone who gives a fuck.
orsusband- May 16, 2013 at 10:52 am
Article is on point. That guy just lost a lot of fans showing his true colors. and he should feel bad not so much for the mistake the other guy did, but for the fact that everyone accepts the rules as being just. Steroids is a lesser substance than cannabis... amazing.
that guy is a Deuche. America - The illusion of freedom.
cman- May 16, 2013 at 10:50 am
Oh Rex, as a reader from before you were a contributor, just a commentator, reading you say that cracks me up.
Bong hits for mob mentality.
J.Jones- May 16, 2013 at 10:57 am
I tell you what, let's you, me, and ReX all meet in the empty lot behind the Burger King in 15. I know this dude...he's always shadowboxing and talking about "Georges" and "the bullshit" but his piff is UNREAL.
algiersheadkick504- May 16, 2013 at 10:48 am
Well some of us aren't pro athletes ( atleast not yet) and working a 9-5 and dealing with the stress of bills, impregnanting yur hoes, and feds kicking In yur door, some people need something to level the playing field...some useS alcohol some use Zoloft, I prefer a plant that I can't possibly get addicted to and won't make me crash my car or go fucking insane wen I don't have it
ReX13- May 16, 2013 at 10:44 am
Cman >> If Caraway wants to eschew weed, no one is going to take issue with that. If Caraway wants to spew bullshit from his face about something he has no knowledge of, i'mma rag that little pussy 'til the wheels fall off.
cman- May 16, 2013 at 10:41 am
So youre saying you don't get high but you pretend to because you feel you identify with a larger portion of your readership by faking it?
Or you do drugs and use sarcasm to have plausible deniability?
Or you use drugs, wish to hide it as you make fun of a fighter because he actually took a high road and never did?
Still looking for your wiggle room to call anyone a hypocrite.
ReX13- May 16, 2013 at 10:40 am
You and me, Danga.

ReX13- May 16, 2013 at 10:52 am
NOTE: This is a running gag at this point, and obligatory in any story involving MJ.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 16, 2013 at 11:14 pm
I'm going to cross a new hybrid strain from The OG Colorado Cough (AKA NL5 x Haze) and OG Kush and call it the mofawkin' Giraffe Pussy Kush. I'll let ya'll know when it's stabilized and I got seed strain and cuts.
catshittacos- May 16, 2013 at 10:24 am
fck me now i hate everything
cman- May 16, 2013 at 10:22 am
Wait, so you dislike someone because as a professional athlete he cares enough about his body to not put foreign substances and take a professional approach to it while you sit like a blob at a computer because you chose a profession (oh how hard it was to say that about any of you) based on your need to be altered?
Weed done ruined your process
On par with WBC in ignorant rantings... Really.
Alan K- May 16, 2013 at 10:08 am
It's Bryan's right to hate people who use weed, just as much as it's your right to hate people who hate people who use weed. Your gonna break that soapbox one of these days.