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As Internet Accuses Undertaker of Epic Troll Job, White Says Lesnar will be Back in the UFC Sooner than Expected

(Does this look like the face of a man who is pumped for Wrestlemania? PicProps: BloodyElbow)

Right on schedule, the Internets are in full-on meltdown mode this Monday morning concerning all things Brock Lesnar. Lesnar fans who talked him up as an unstoppable juggernaut as late as Friday afternoon are now backtracking, suddenly focusing more on his inexperience than his otherworldly physical prowess. Cain Velasquez supporters are getting their gloat on, as well they should, after Velasquez put a king sized beating on Lesnar at UFC 121. We blogging scumbags are attacking the former champ’s striking skills, his game plan and his training camp. Many of us are wondering aloud about Lesnar’s future in the sport, how he’ll rebound from this and what in the bejeezus is going to happen to our precious heavyweight rankings now.

For his part, UFC President Dana White is insinuating that the whitetail deer population of southwestern Minnesota might be a bit inflated come spring, since he believes Lesnar will cancel much of his planned time off in order to get back in the gym and back in the Octagon ASAP. Then there’s this goddamned Undertaker thing, which is threatening to take on a life of its own.

First, the real stuff. White told the cast of ESPN’s MMA Live on Saturday night that he thinks this pretty embarrassing loss will light a fire in Lesnar. He said that he wouldn’t be surprised if Lesnar’s scheduled vacation time fell by the wayside in favor of rededicating himself to MMA. 

“We’re going to find out the real competitive side of Brock Lesnar here,” White said. “I have a feeling, knowing him, his plans are going to be cut short. I think obviously he’s going to go hunting and spend some time with his family, but I think we’ll see him back a lot sooner than what we had planned.”

Now rumors are starting to emerge that maybe Lesnar’s “plans” also included a one-off WWE match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania next March or April. A herd of Online types are calling bullshit on Mark Calaway’s bizarre and brief confrontation with Lesnar on Saturday night, which was captured on film by Ariel Helwani and later posted on AOL’s That gossip even had enough legs to nab publication by the UK Sun.

If that’s true, allow me to say: Nicely done, WWE. Indeed, the Undertaker was acting pretty weird at UFC 121. He attempted to sell some kind of personal beef with Lesnar during the interview with Helwani, but then sounded far more complementary of his former pro-wrestling co-worker in this later video spot with Fight! Magazine. Besides, the 45-year-old Calaway trying to hype a wrestling angle with Lesnar makes a lot more sense than him legitimately trying to get in Lesnar’s face immediately following the UFC main event.

Maybe the two wrestlers had some kind of post-fight confrontation planned that Lesnar scrapped after the loss. That would certainly explain the Undertaker asking the dejected and dethroned former champion, “You want to do it?” as he made his somber walk from the cage to the locker room. Whatever the case, we can be reasonably assured that Helwani and AOL had nothing to do with it and that The Undertaker acted alone.

When Helwani later asked White about the possibility of Lesnar making another WWE appearance, the UFC Prez squirmed a little bit before answering.

“I don’t know if he is or isn’t,” White said. “I would find that hard to believe. The Undertaker has been coming for a long time … If those guys were going back and forth, it’s because they’re friends.”

While a Lesnar Wrestlemania spot certainly makes sense for Vince McMahon and his flagging company, the two sides didn’t part ways on good terms back in 2004 and there’s no way to know how much healing has gone on between the two since. Obviously, the WWE would throw a boatload of money at Lesnar for one night’s work in order to get a rub off him and the swelling popularity of the UFC.

That said, it doesn’t seem to make sense at all for White and/or for Lesnar’s future in MMA. All Brock’s talk during the recent “UFC Primetime” specials about how he “just wanted to be a gladiator” and become the best MMA fighter he could be sure didn’t make it sound like any more fake fighting was in his future. As MMA fans – and let’s face it, the sport is more interesting with Lesnar in it than not – let’s hope this isn’t true. You think the dude looked unprepared for Velasquez, imagine what his training will be like if he’s trying to split time between two jobs. 

Cagepotato Comments

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Dioxin- October 30, 2010 at 3:00 am
I saw this shit coming a mile away. Brock finally gets his ass kicked and now all the haters say how much he sucks, even though he competed at the top from the very beginning being EXTREMELY green and beating some top tier guys instead of being feed cans. Not a big fan of Lesnar and i enjoyed watch his stupid ass get stomped but i highly doubt that this is the last we shall see of lesnar. He shall come back better then ever and hopefully with a little humility.
Mir please break Brocks neck- October 26, 2010 at 11:55 pm
I was one of a small handful of guys routing for Cain. I even bet a few rednecks at the bar that Cain would win.... And when he smashed Cock Lesnar.....I took all of their allowance money. I was not impressed with their performances.
ashkenaziTROLL- October 25, 2010 at 10:00 pm
'we can be reasonably assured that Helwani and AOL had nothing to do with it '

Obviously, we must kill the rabbits. iknwufeeldatnigga
KarmaAteMyCat- October 25, 2010 at 9:08 pm
I saw the Fight and Lesnar got hasty he didn't properly mount him Cain made a good scramble I just hope Brock leaves the camp and trains at a decent camp.
Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts- October 25, 2010 at 8:57 pm

remember to cut along the veins, not across.
MoTropolis- October 25, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Brock did pick him up and slam him. Cain immediately got back to his feet. Did you see the fight?
MoTropolis- October 25, 2010 at 8:50 pm

I dont have a problem with fighters who naturally have a charm or a way to make their fights more interesting with pre fight antics. Tito Ortiz and Josh Koschek are perfect examples of fighters who cant help but be d-bags, and are fun to watch even if only just to root against them and hope they get beat up. I dont even have much of a problem with fighters that use it as a gimmick, like Chael Sonnen, who has been around for awhile but just started talking all this shit because nobody really knew or cared who he was. The thing thats lame is when people start saying shit like "O great, now we have a HW champ that sucks in interviews and is boring when he talks", as if to say champions cant stand on their ability to fight alone, they must entertain outside the octagon as well.
SentinelMan52- October 25, 2010 at 8:46 pm
You two bit crack heads who dont know shit about Brock so all of you need to shut the hell up okay, first of all it does'nt take a genius to say that Brock came out wild like a dumbass, Second he should of stuck to the game plan that won him all the other fights includin Carwin, Mir, and Couture instead he thought he could out punch Velazquez, Third he should of pick up Cain and slammed him instead of letting him go. Anyways Velazquez aint gonna be the champion for very long because they are giving Cain Junior dos Santos next and that Guy Completly dominates all the heavyweights he has fought.
Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts- October 25, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Brock now has both male and female genitalia prominently displayed on his body.
DBOYOOO- October 25, 2010 at 7:37 pm
i dont get how we can have a person fighting on live tv let alone the new champ with a tattoo that has clear racial gestures, i mean would a white man be allowed to fight on tv with a white pride tattoo accross his chest without him being called a racist? crazy world this is
AgentoftheBat- October 25, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I know what you're saying man, but sometimes you DO need that stuff to hype fights. Despite the fact that there are lots of fights that you just want to see because the two guys are great fighters with good records, sometimes it's fun to choose a side not just based on who you THINK is going to win. I want Koscheck to lose most times because he's a douchebag. I know he's a good fighter but I just want his face beat in.
I want Tito to get destroyed everytime he goes out there because he's an asshole that runs his mouth. But he knows how to hype a fight, despite the fact that he's an idiot and washed up.
There's no harm in there being some character to these fighters. It's not like I'm asking for them to come out to fireworks, riding in lowriders to the octagon to have tables, ladders and chairs matches because one guy gave the other guy his trademark finishing move in the back parking lot last week.
The UFC films countdown shows and prime time for a reason. To hype fights. It's like they hand them a few 3X5 cards with generic sayings on them. I like it when someone strays from this path a bit. Or a lot. It spruces it up a little.
k-onda- October 25, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Now Brock has a facial-vagina to go with his pectoral-penis. That's really nice.
itsgalf- October 25, 2010 at 6:45 pm
So Brock fights Cain...and now he's going to fight Cain's brother?
MoTropolis- October 25, 2010 at 5:18 pm
I'll tell ya what Im getting fuckin tired of hearing..."He is so boring outside of the cage". Remind me again why we watch MMA? Why do we really give a shit about their personality and/or interview skills? Some of you are just beggin for this shit to turn into the WWE. We dont need pre fight trash talk to hype fights. If you are really a fan of MMA, its things like people's fight styles, records, etc, that get you hyped for a fight, not some half assed mouth droppings from a doosh that does his best work at press conferences.
DARKHORSE06- October 25, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I dont get why everybody hates Brock. Every fight he's in, win or lose, is a complete spectacle worthy of our attention.

Jake Shields should have walked out to Muzak...fuck he's boring.
MentalyptiC- October 25, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Brock just comes out too strong hoping for this epic stoppage or whatever he's thinking. Notice He took cain down, but his world-class wresting couldnt keep em down? And when Brock hit the mat he covered up like a bitch, same thing against Carwin. Just Cain was smart about his striking. I've never liked the fact Brock got title shot with a 2-1 TOTAL MMA record, i dont care how much PPV it sold, I think MMA needs to hold onto it's credibility as a serious combat sport, fighters should start from the bottom, and work your way up. Only exception would be if a fighter was dominating in another league, and held a respectable record. I honestly wont have respect for Brock until I see him improve. What I seen against cain, was same thing he did against Carwin, difference being Cain's patience.
RSparrow- October 25, 2010 at 3:43 pm
HEY!?? What happened???

Last thing I remember Jake Shields was walking out of the locker room...
dogpt3- October 25, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Shields is ridiculously boring and looks so weak on his feet I'm actually excited to see him fight GSP. GSP might finally man up and start trying to knock people out again, he doesn't really have to worry about shields getting a lucky knock out punch in. Shields punches like a power puff girl minus the power. I feel like GSP and Shields ridiculous grappling/wrestling is just going to force the fight to the feet. My gut tells me that Dana brought shields on hoping he would lose his first fight, its a win win for Dana cuz if shields loses right away what does that say about strikeforce? if he wins, he has a big enough fan base to hype a more profitable fight and give GSP someone new to fight. Oh wait, I'm looking past koscheck, my bad.

Ballkick- October 25, 2010 at 2:27 pm
My well laid out plan for having Brock lose his belt worked perfectly,....I just started cheering for the big lug.
I will forever sound like a BIG Lesnar fan,.. until he retires and goes away.

Now on to my next victim,...Josh Koscheck......Go Fraggle!
jimbonics- October 25, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Thank god he lost. I mean shit man... if he had won and then the Undertaker gets up in his face and they start with the WWE shit, I would have seriously never watched UFC again.

Alas, this is the source of my hatred for Brock. That and his stupid ass Cock Chest. And his ugly ass Barbie wife. And the lamp, that's all I need.
AgentoftheBat- October 25, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I'm a huge Brock fan. Go ahead and tear me up. Whatever.
The guy is entertaining. He's big, he's fast and he's come further in a short amount of time than anyone else I can think of. You can say he's got "NO SKILLZ" and crap like that, but the bottom line is that he's a fantastic wrestler, but he needs to work on his striking and yeah, I think he might want to venture outside of his little camp for once and maybe learn something new.
I think VelasQUEZ is a damn good fighter, but you know what? Outside of the cage he's kind of boring. Theres so many guys just throwing out generic mma buzz phrases before every fight. "I'm gonna look for holes in his game and beat him" zzzzzzzzzzzz. Brock at least does things a bit different. He'll say things most guys wont and either get you behind him or have you hoping he gets his ass beat.
And, you gotta admit, he gives all you unoriginal bastards a chance to throw out the latest tired ass "Cock Sword or Cock Chestnar" joke and feel good, like you just burned the entire internet with that zinger.
ghostboner- October 25, 2010 at 1:53 pm
I was unsure of my Brocksuality up until saturday night. Actually I was sure I disliked him strongly. Then sunday I remembered that I dislike Cain much more than Brock, and that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Therefore I am now a Brock fan. *waves goodbye as soul rides away on back of spirit unicorn*
ArmFarmer- October 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Before we start calling for Brock's walking papers there is another stack that needs to come first. There was just an article about Gabe Rudiger still fighting in the ufc, Tito is still competing, and there are probably 100 more I don't care enough about to be able to remember... I think they have room for Brock.

I for one will still be pumped for Brock's next fight. Not because I'm a Brock fan because I'm not, just because you never know wtf is going to happen when he gets in the cage. Plus there's just so much buzz about him all the time, bad or good, he's just an interesting character to have in the ufc. Maybe I am a closet Brock fan.. I just don't know anymore lol. I'm insecure about my Broxuality I guess..
Gargoroth- October 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Lesnar needs serious striking work. He needs to get a top level boxing coach like Freddie Roach to help this guy learn how to throw punches, not cower like a girl from them. He looked completely lost in that fight and Cain deserved to win. He put a hell of a beating on the ex-champ. Grats Cain!
jimbonics- October 25, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!!!!

How did I profess my love for Tito? I hate that freaking guy. Am I missing some sarcasm here?

I don't even remember what I said. I thought Hamil might take it easy on him, to the point of not trying to win. I was clearly wrong on that though.

To sum it up:

Fuck Tito and Brock. Fuck 'em both. I've never professed anything other than fuck those two guys.