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Ironic Injury of the Day: Rousimar Palhares Out of UFC 150 With a Possibly Torn Knee Ligament


(I suppose I could write something funny here, but I’d rather ask you to look at the honest to God fear present in Kevin Mulhall’s face as he essentially sticks his hands in a bear trap. Truly chilling stuff.) 

Here are a few news items that you’ll probably find even less surprising than the fact that the Summer 2012 injury curse has claimed yet another victim:

1. Another Floridian came down with a bad case of bath salt-related cannibalism.

2. A Greek triple-jumper was expelled from the Olympics for saying something racist over Twitter. (You may, however, be surprised to learn that it was a pretty hot woman who said it.) 

3. Rotten Tomatoes recently had to shut down its comments section because a couple critics who gave The Dark Knight Rises a bad review were receiving so many death threats that it nearly crashed the server. Yes, death threats.

4. A Georgia man recently set his head on fire as part of a bet he made while hammered at a bar and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, he survived his injuries.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s something you might find a little more surprising: The latest victim of the injury curse is none other than Rousimar Palhares, who threatened to rip a hole in between earthly dimensions by injuring his own knee during training, subsequently forcing himself to bow out from his scheduled fight with Yushin Okami at UFC 150. You might recall that Palhares was only facing Okami in the first place because Luis Cane injured himself in training as well, but trying to remember who is filling in for who due to injury these days is as impossible as reciting Pi in its entirety. In short, everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with Schrim Goatsch or Schmanderson Schilva is clearly ducking Yushin Okami.

Shortly after receiving the injury, which is likely a torn ligament that may require surgery, Palhares was quoted as saying, “Ow! That hurts! My God, is that what I’ve been doing to people?!” before savagely devouring the nurse that was attempting to help him to his feet. Palhares’ coach, Murilo Bustamante, told FightersOnly that “He is out of action for while. After next two weeks we will know for sure if he’ll need a surgery.” Bustamante also attributed the injury to “bad luck,” but we feel that “karma” is a more appropriate analysis. In all seriousness, we would never wish an injury upon any fighter and hope Palhares has a smooth recovery.

Stepping in for Palhares on just a couple of weeks notice will be Buddy Roberts, a 12-2 Jackson’s MMA product who scored a plodding unanimous decision victory over Caio Magalhaes in his UFC debut at UFC on FX 3. We understand that Okami is on the heels of a loss that was described by an incredibly coked amped up Joe Rogan as “The greatest comeback in UFC History”, but he should have no problem getting by Roberts here. Although this squash match will come at the cost of what was an incredibly interesting matchup at 185 lbs., it will be nice to see Okami at least have the chance to add an impressive finish to his highlight reel, something he has not done since starching the late Evan Tanner at UFC 82.

We’ve taken the liberty to add a couple videos of Buddy Roberts handiwork below, not because we think they will change your minds in regards to how this fight will end, but simply because we can. Enjoy.

-J. Jones

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Mr_Misanthropy- July 26, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Flensing knives also come in handy when watching Japanese whale porn.
J.Jones- July 26, 2012 at 7:42 am
@RWilson - Flensing knives are badass, and come in handy during the three months I spend on a Japanese whaler each year. End of story.
fightfan- July 26, 2012 at 7:36 am
Paul Harris heel hooked hmiself?
Mr_Misanthropy- July 26, 2012 at 1:20 am
I'm not your guy, Buddy Roberts! You're not my buddy, Buddy Roberts! Buddy Roberts is not your friend, guy!
RwilsonR- July 25, 2012 at 8:52 pm
A whole vile of LSD? I remember when the used to come on tiny little paper squares. That will be ne hell of a trip. And what's with your newfound love of flensing knives, Danga? You keep talking about them. Is this some Internet meme I'm not aware of because I spend my time on the internets watching porn instead of tweeting?
Get Off Me- July 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm
The Dark Kinght Rises ranks #3 of the Bale Batman films
Kimbo Lesnar- July 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Dammit Danga... A 'vile' of LSD?!
twistedvision- July 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Paul Harris uses bath salts before each fight
J.Jones- July 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm
@smelly - Is that a Schizopolis reference? Good show, old boy.
smellypiratehooker- July 25, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Ya. It's a peculiar little gem that I'm not gonna pretend that I fully understand, but I figured that a film student might apprieciate
smellypiratehooker- July 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm
@ Danga
For news, you forgot to mention.

A New Mexico woman was named Final Arbiter of Taste & Justice today, ending God's lengthy search for someone to straighten this country out. Eileen Harriet Palglace will have final say on every known subject, including who should be put to death, what clothes everyone should wear, what movies suck, and whether bald men who grow ponytails should still get laid.
jjrdias- July 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm
The injury happened while he was stretching, when he held on to his own knee 5 seconds more than he needed to.
Viva Hate- July 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I can't wait for the newest CP commentor KarmaAteMyKnee
Fried Taco- July 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Sounds like he was rolling with someone, grabbed a leg and knee-barred it before realizing it was his own.
J.Jones- July 25, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Is it necessarily a swipe when the man's love of drugs is public knowledge? Besides, everyone knows I would follow Rogan into the mouth of Hell with a vial of LSD in one hand and flensing knife in the other.
Fried Taco- July 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm
I didn't know that.
J.Jones- July 25, 2012 at 1:26 pm
One of his sleeves is a tribute to a DMT trip he had, if that gives you any indication.
Fried Taco- July 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm
I meant I didn't know you would follow Rogan into the mouth of Hell with a vile of LSD in one hand and flensing knife in the other.
Fried Taco- July 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Plus I'm not sure what a "vile" of LSD is.
beef_kurtains- July 25, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Taking swipes at Rogan? May you step in dog shit, sir.
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