(Fuckin’ amateurs.) 

Props to CP reader Frndlylion for the find, which involves yet another criminal getting his comeuppance at the hands of a mixed martial artist. We’ve seen them get rubber-guarded by some 10th Planet boys in a hotel lobby, we’ve seen them get beat to hell by an unnamed UFC champ, and we’ve even seen them get chased down by a current UFC champ. The latest story comes to us from Davenport, Iowa, where a 23 year old local by the name of Justin Tincher not only thwarted a robbery attempt on his girlfriend’s car, but managed to chase down the robber, bare foot and shirtless, and pin him to the pavement until the police came. The QCTimes explains:

Bishop Thornton allegedly jiggled the handles of several locked cars in the 700 block of Franklin Avenue, Davenport, last weekend before he came to an unlocked one belonging to Justin Tincher’s girlfriend. The 2002 Ford Focus was parked in front of Tincher’s house.

When Tincher saw the attempted theft in progress, he bolted out of his house without socks, shoes or a shirt, chased Thornton down Franklin Avenue, tackled the 19-year-old East Moline man and had him pinned until police arrived.

Tincher, 23, is a former mixed martial arts fighter.

“I don’t take kindly to people messing with my house, my girlfriend or my family,” Tincher said last week while still recovering at home after the ordeal.

He claims Thornton punched and kicked him while he had the suspect pinned. He also claims Thornton bit him on the left side of his torso after police arrived. The bite mark still was visible Friday afternoon.

We don’t take kindly to people messing with our homes, girlfriends, or families either, Justin. Perhaps you’ve heard what MRuss did to that intruder he found in his home last Christmas. Grizzly stuff. But to this “handle jiggler” we must ask; A FORD FOCUS? That’s the getaway vehicle you chose? Memphis Raines you are not.

As it turns out, Tincher had both his neighbors and his dogs to thank for alerting him to the intruder:

Tincher said he became suspicious something was wrong when his three dogs wouldn’t stop barking. He peeked out his front door window and saw a neighbor in his driveway, frantically waving at him.

When he went outside, he saw the smashed window of his girlfriend’s car. He saw that alert neighbors had pulled a pickup in front of the car, blocking Thornton’s path of escape if he had successfully hot-wired the car. He said neighbors had followed Thornton when they saw him jiggling car handles.

“With Christmas shopping and everything, it slipped our minds to lock our car,” Tincher said.

With all the injustices that pass before our very eyes each day, it’s nice to see that some punks get what they have coming in a real world setting. Sorry Bas, you know we love you, but the show is just…terrible.

One thing’s for sure, as more and more of us decide to step away from our computers and into the nearest basement, gym, or million dollar training facility, we can only expect to hear more awesome stories like this one in the future. LET’S TAKE BACK OUR STREETS, POTATO NATION!!

-Danga