(BowCap: It’s “armbar” in tard-speak. / Video courtesy of Hamwin12)

From injuries and freak accidents to painkiller addiction and steroid busts, James Irvin‘s MMA career has been a litany of bad luck compounded by bad decisions. And his latest decision could be his worst yet. According to a new MMAJunkie report, Irvin is in talks with XARM — best known as the dumbest combat sport in the history of human stupidity — and may be participating at the full-contact arm-wrestling promotion’s June 24th event in San Jacinto, California.

Irvin won a pair of fights for Gladiator Challenge earlier this year, both by first-round stoppage. In fact, the Sandman hasn’t seen the second round of a fight in five-and-a-half years, making him an ideal fit for XARM’s “Roughest 3 Minutes In Sports” mentality. But there’s no way he’s getting out of this thing unscathed. It’s James Irvin, for God’s sake. Shattering his wrist or orbital bone would be a best-case scenario. Something freaky is going to happen, I just know it. Damn. Am I going to have to watch this fucking thing now?

XARM’s next event will be filled out by the participants of an upcoming reality show that will air on the Machinima network, in which XARM hopefuls are put through a three-day training boot camp. The promotion is still looking to fill nine spots for the show, and is accepting fighters ranging from 145 to 265 pounds, including female fighters. If this sounds like a good use of your time, hit up Tedd Williams at teddewilliams@aol.com. Please, no point-fighters or game-planners.