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James Toney Cordially Invites Kimbo Slice to Come Get Some

I don’t know what made me think that getting the UFC contract he asked for would make James Toney stop with the YouTube videos. I guess I mistakenly assumed that they were simply a means to an end, which is clearly not the case. This is just something Toney does. He makes videos and calls people out. When it works and he gets what he wants, he must necessarily find something/someone else to call out, and thus the whole drama renews itself.

But I don’t really want to talk about that, nor do I want to talk about why Toney might have decided that it’s in his best interest to focus on Kimbo Slice and not any of the other UFC fighters who might be more eager to welcome him to the Octagon. No, instead I think we should talk about the guy in the glasses standing just behind Toney. That guy, ladies and gentleman, is what a real hype-man looks like.

Notice how he doesn’t draw too much attention to himself, but knows just when to say important things such as, “that’s right,” and “look out!” and “coming at ya!” The man’s timing is impeccable. The way he nods and smiles, pointing at the person we’re supposed to be paying attention to, that’s how you know that he was born to play this role, or at the very least has watched a lot of pro wrestling over the course of his life.

That guy could rent himself out as a professional hype-man for special occasions. Say you have a big job interview that you need to ace. Think about how much better your chances would be if you had that guy standing behind you, pointing at you and saying, “that’s right!” after you mention that you graduated with honors. Suddenly you go from being just another jerk off the street to being a force to be reckoned with. Look out, indeed.

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nuthugger- March 17, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Kimbos Bread- March 16, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Man that is one life-like looking puppet. Hats off to that ventriloquist in the striped shirt. If it wasn't for his lip movements and the constant swaying of that doll, I would have thought it was really James Toney.
Carl Sagan- March 16, 2010 at 7:09 pm
I seriously am almost in tears, this is hilarious!
KidDinomite- March 16, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Does anyone understand what he's saying between :16 and :22?
G Funk- March 16, 2010 at 6:31 pm
"a former pro boxer"

He is a current pro boxer.
Bunk- March 16, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Ben you look good in that stripe shirt
Benito Kamelas- March 16, 2010 at 4:59 pm
" The man’s timing is impeccable"
"Think about how much better your chances would be if you had that guy standing behind you, pointing at you and saying, “that’s right!”"

hahaha comments like this are why i read this site everyday.
not only mma but good humor.
greetings from ecuador :)
Keyser Soze- March 16, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Call me crazy, but I think Kimbo takes this one. I can't help but think that Kimbo's got enough common sense and coaching to know that standing and banging against a former pro boxer isn't the greatest strategy.

I know Kimbo's ground game isn't very strong, but I imagaine Toney's is non-existent. It doesn't take a BJJ black belt to choke the living sh*t out of someone who has no idea how to defend against it. Take Toney to the ground, hammer on him for a while, slow him down and put him to sleep while he tries to figure out what the hell he was thinking about.

To say that Toney has the edge in the stand up department is a no-brainer. I see Toney fighting like Mike Swick, full steam ahead and punches in bunches. I don't figure his cardio's all that great. Take Toney out of his element and he's in deep sh*t.

A little humility goes a long way, and I'd love to watch Toney eat his words.
LetMeStickItInYourRua- March 16, 2010 at 2:18 pm
The UFC shouldn't mess around with this guy. They should give him the Lesnar treatment and throw him in there with a former champion right off the bat. The bad thing is if he wins he's gonna brag that boxers can defeated MMA fighters and if he loses the boxing world is gonna bitch that he wasn't treated properly. Is there anyone who is teetering on the "whoop his ass" and "gate keeper" side of the fences? Like for some reason I wish Evan Tanner was still alive.
CheckHisPee- March 16, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Any chance there's a 'Fat Albert' movie in the works, cuz this guy's a shoe-in for Mushmouth. "Oba noba Fabba Albert."
thetroubleman- March 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm
ok honestly im sick and tired of james toneys ass running his mouth he isnt training for mma he;s training to knock ppl out like he always did and he;s gonna get royal thrased and id love to see kimbo do it set this up and let toney se what happens when he runs his mouth kimbo wil throw them things with him and id love to see kimbo go and make toney tap out
DazedNConfused- March 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm
fuck it, I like James Toney haha. I don't think he'll do much more than knockout Kimbo and disappear into mediocrity, somewhere in the middle of the 205/heavyweight division, but the man's got spunk! and hell when he was younger he was a boxing legend. So Im going to go ahead and give this video a big thumbs up.
mma samurai- March 16, 2010 at 1:08 pm
What a punk bitch! Way to call the man out after you already know he's signed on to do another fight. Here we go again with the "you're lucky my friends are holding me back" routine from another dumbass douchebag. Dammit James Toney you have me defending Kimbo now I have another reason to hate your guts!!
ghostboner- March 16, 2010 at 12:42 pm
I love how he ends it with a pouty "whaheva!" as if Kimbo were standing in front of him refuting everything he said. I gotta say I wouldn't mind seeing Toney knock kimbo's block off. Or vice versa. Sad as it is, I'm liking Toney more and more everytime he makes one of these hilarious videos.
robthom- March 16, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Ray Mercer > James Toney

At talking, yes.
(Although that aint sayin much)
Fried Taco- March 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Ray Mercer > James Toney
Phil Bologna- March 16, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I think he would put Kimbo in a coma, and do it fairly easily.
El Guapo- March 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Mumbles vs The Iceman

"When Mush Collides"
Yurko- March 16, 2010 at 11:50 am
James Toney is to linguistic ability as colon polyps are to quantum physics.
robthom- March 16, 2010 at 11:39 am
"How can James Toney still get a license to fight? the guy can't put more than two words together from all the abuse he's taken. His brain is mush."

Because boxing is corrupt.

Not the sport itself, good sport, but the business including the commissions because its so ingrown and there's so much money involved.

Has anybody seen Shadow Boxers with Lucia Rijker?
I haven't seen it in a few years but I could have sworn that Toney didn't sound this bad in that movie.
FithyMcNasty- March 16, 2010 at 11:36 am
Please put this guy against a grappler. When are boxers going to understand this is not boxing.
LetMeStickItInYourRua- March 16, 2010 at 11:34 am
I figured I'd watch cause what else was I gonna do with 1:04 of my life right now? And James Toney's hype man is in desperate need of Toney winning. That way he can buy a real New York hat and not the cheap Wal-Mart knock off!
El Guapo- March 16, 2010 at 11:32 am
(Mumbling)"Less get it on, bebe! Lights Out, mo'fuka! C'mon, Kembo. Don't run from meh, come get zum!"

Love me some Fat Fuck but somebody needs to tell him take his mouthpiece out when he's doing interviews. What's that? It IS out?? Hmmm, this is awkward.

(Marble moufed)"In yo' face, mo'fuka! I ain't GOT no moufpiece in this bee-eye-iitch! Betta ax zumbody.."
robthom- March 16, 2010 at 11:30 am
"It would be fascinating if they had a machine that could show you just exactly what goes on in James Tony's thought processes."

I'm picturing one of those old black and white 1920's cartoons with a sped up mouse jerkily cranking some type of Rube Golberg device made out of cymbals, pinwheels and yoyo's.
danomite- March 16, 2010 at 11:16 am
How can James Toney still get a license to fight? the guy can't put more than two words together from all the abuse he's taken. His brain is mush.