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James Toney Has Officially Gone From Annoying Pest to Hilarious Mess

(Props: MMA Scraps)

If the internet age has taught us anything, it’s that by the time you start posting videos of yourself pleading for someone to give you something, you have passed a point of no return.  For whatever reason, people stop taking your requests seriously once they see you shouting into a cheap video camera while your boys mill around impatiently behind you.  Bonus points if you pause your video rant to say hello to a "beautiful girl" off camera who may or may not actually exist, and may or may not actually be beautiful. 

This is James Toney‘s second "UFC call out" video, and by far the more entertaining of the two.  The fact that he’s pumping these out now probably means that negotiations have stalled after Dana White made an offer that Toney described as "a joke."  So now he’s resorted to semi-coherent DIY video productions to get his big money fight in the UFC.  Yeah, that’s probably been the missing piece of the puzzle all along.

If I could ask the internet to grant me one wish, it would be for someone to break into Brock Lesnar‘s home, tie him to a chair, force him to watch this video, and record his reaction for us all to see.  I realize that’s a tall order, but maybe we could get Big Stacks there to do it.  If he’s James Toney’s bodyguard, I’m guessing he’s done a lot crazier stuff for a lot less reward. 

Cagepotato Comments

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Seoul Brother- January 29, 2010 at 10:57 am
@Cecil PeepHoles: nah dude, only Cecil himself would be that fucking blind or retarded.
Cecil PeepHoles- January 29, 2010 at 10:10 am



Change your name. People are gonna think we're related.
rlh61- January 29, 2010 at 5:40 am

I like how you spurned the 'young' lable, but didn't deny the 'whore' part...stand strong, brother!
DazedNConfused- January 28, 2010 at 11:43 pm
referring to schizo's comment of course.
DazedNConfused- January 28, 2010 at 11:42 pm
haha yes! I tried posting that link on this comment page after my first comment, saying the same thing. Except I was thinking Lesner or another top heavyweight would be diesel! It must have been reported as spam though. Great fricken scene.
KTM 212- January 28, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Toney vs anyone with a ground game!! I would love to see a ufc fighter break his jaw then his arm!!
ghostboner- January 28, 2010 at 10:43 pm
@ kiddinomite - I'm 42. I'm still cool though, so don't nobody try to tell me I can't post on your hip fighting website.
Deadpanda- January 28, 2010 at 10:14 pm
I think his hype-man on the right's kinda cute with the way he looks so disappointed in himself for interrupting his master.

yay yay

you heard it

schizo310- January 28, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Any of you guys seen the movie "Knock Around Guys"? The scene with Vin Deisel in the bar "500"......
.......THAT'S what we need!!! Give Toney his payday, AND a shot at the title. Toney vs. Lesnar and let Mazagatti ref.
If all goes as planned, Lesnar will rabbit punch and hammer fist Toney's head into a semi-liquid state, while mustache Mazagatti lets it go on way too long. Boxers all over the world will think three or four times before trying to get in the cage. The boxing community will be quiet about "rolling around like fags"... at least for a while, and all for just a few million bucks. Sounds like a deal to me.
Peter Griffin- January 28, 2010 at 7:09 pm
What a punk

also, UFC Fan is a jerk
UFC fan- January 28, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Kid Dino Mite that was the longest EMO post I have seen in a long while, your pussy must hurt something awful.
Take 2 midol and call me in the morning.
stay silent next time, your gut choice was right the first time, you simply are NOT man enough to be here. bad shit gets said here, bad people say badddd go cry you cunt.
PurplePickle- January 28, 2010 at 5:43 pm
I like to say great googly moogly. As well as good geedy meedy, mighty damn, and damn skippy. Love them all, as a matter of fact.

Thank you, African Americans of generations past.
Seoul Brother- January 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Great googly moogly - what a simple bitch! Make this ashy clown work his way up through a traditional martial arts discipline and see how fast he punks out before he makes green belt.

Even a scabby cunt of a man like Gabe Ruediger, Jesse Taylor, or Joey Scarola is a bigger man than this thug.
Sneaky Pete- January 28, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I won't say that it's a sign of how pathetic and irrelevant boxing has become, but it certainly makes me wonder about the where James Toney may be in his life's journey.

Oh, and by the way, boxing has become pathetic and irrelevant.
WeTheCecilPeoples- January 28, 2010 at 4:39 pm
is this real life?.....ok now, ok now i have two fingers....i cant see anything aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....i, i feel funny.....why is this happening to me? this going to be forever?
petro- January 28, 2010 at 4:29 pm
lol I was hoping someone noticed that nate
NateGetsIrate- January 28, 2010 at 3:59 pm
BITCHES!... bitches!
cwr- January 28, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Haha best part of the video is 0:47

"I'm the (inaudible) fighter here, everybody know that"

"You heard"
KidDinomite- January 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm
You know I come on this website a lot and I admit that I do write borderline racist stuff sometimes but it's all in fun. Then I always see UFC Fan write up some incomprehensible, hating shit every time he/it posts and I can't keep silent any longer.

Usually he/it writes stuff like fighters being a young whore or some kind of whore. The problem we're all guys here and I'm pretty sure we're in the 20-35 range. In otherwords, we're pretty much all young. Don't know about anyone else but I'm also somewhat of a whore as well. I'd guess a few of the posters here might be too. So what do we get from this? One, we're all mostly young whores and are mostly proud of being whores so that's not really an insult, it's the truth. And two, UFC Fan must be some kind of foreigner or Eurotrash because the stuff being written is definitely not by someone who's from America or a civilized English-speaking country. Maybe an inbred or something. In all honesty, I don't know and I don't care. All I know is he/it shouldn't be writing stuff on these boards.
parchy mcthirst- January 28, 2010 at 3:14 pm
he is just an enormous, rotund infant who whines and cries when he doesn't get his way...well, he better keep suckin on that breast milk cuz he ain't gettin shit
side.check.kick- January 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Ok UFC fan, now that we've gotten our fill of racial bigotry and other irrelevant bullshit... You want a SERIOUS offer James? You got it!

James Toney vs Don Zimmer, by popular demand! GO!

DazedNConfused- January 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Atleast he has accomplished a lot in the world of boxing and delivered some of the most exciting fights Ive seen in a boxing ring. Its better than some fucking loser on a website who can only get attention by spitting out racist rants and delusional bullshit. I think you may be even more Dazed and Confused than me. Fuckin goof. Thats all I am going to say, Ive already given you more attention than I should have.
UFC fan- January 28, 2010 at 2:34 pm
I said it before and stupid motherfuckers had to rattle their heads about it, so I am gonna say it again for the brain dead like Toney who don't get it:
Stupid nigger is, as stupid nigger does.
stop showing this shit and giving that fat fuck his 3 minutes of fame.
Red Baron- January 28, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Wouldn't it be ironic if Kimbo was in a fight where the best thing he could do is take Toney down rather than avoiding that?
LoneWolf- January 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm
He is such a damn fool.