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James Toney May be in for a Rude Awakening, or at Least We All Hope

(What a backwards society we live in when wrestling is for girls, but diamond cluster earrings are for badasses.)

At first, I thought James Toney was just just posturing when he said that MMA fighters wouldn’t stand a chance against top-level boxers, but now I’m beginning to think that "Lights Out" really believes it when he says that mixed martial arts is an inferior combat sport and that he will dominate any heavyweight the UFC throws at him, starting with his upcoming UFC 118 opponent Randy Couture.

In a recent interview with Fighters Only Toney, who is still delusional enough to believe that he is one of the best boxers in the world — a distinction he hasn’t known for a number of years — said that wrestling is not a man’s sport and that his credentials cancel out those of Couture, despite the fact that he is fighting him in his sport.

“I don’t care if Randy Couture is a legend in this sport, I have had a career of knocking guys out in their back yards," he says. "Boxing is the superior science, we are the best. I am going to show that wrestling and hugging people is for women. That’s not going to happen against me. I have a lot of KO’s in my career and you will see another one on August 28th."

When asked about whether the rumors were true about him submitting Strikeforce light heavyweight champ Muhammed  Lawal in training, Toney said the story was true, but gave a different account of the method he used to tap "King Mo," who said it was by guillotine.

“Yeah its true, I worked with King Mo. He was happy to come down and spar with me," he explains. "He showed me some skills and I submitted him with a rear-naked choke. But you know that jiu jitsu, all the hugging… its for girls."

Shrugging off any insinuations that he may be in over his head in the UFC, Toney pointed to Brock Lesnar being a former pro-wrestler and came into the promotion and won the belt as evidence of how ludicrous the claim is. 

“Lesnar is a former wrestler-actor [and he’s] now in the UFC. He runs with his head down. Yeah I want to fight him down the line. I’ll fight the lot of them – in one night if I have to!” 

The difference is, Lesnar wrestled for real before he did all that fake stuff.

It’s beginning to seem like Toney is trying to use the insults about wrestling being feminine to bait Randy like a child into standing with him by insulting his bread and butter, but as "The Natural" told Ben this week, he isn’t falling for it.

At least he’ll have his excuse ready if he loses.

I can picture his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan:

Joe Rogan: "Well, James, you came here to prove that boxing was a superior sport to MMA and you fell short of your goal. What went wrong tonight?"

James Toney: "Randy didn’t come to fight, he came to hug me. That’s not a fight. Nobody calls 911 when somebody gets hugged for 15 minutes in the hood. This just proves boxing is better, because Randy was afraid of my craft. His just made me feel half a homosexual."

Rogan: "This isn’t boxing. Why would he want to box with a boxing champion in an MMA fight?"

Toney: "He wouldn’t, because he’d get knocked the f*ck out. I want Brock Lesnar. Lets see if he’s afraid to fight me or if he’s gay too and wants to snuggle me."

Rogan: (laughing) "Ladies and gentlemen, James "Lights Out" Toney."


Cagepotato Comments

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dlb- July 23, 2010 at 11:12 am
It's just as absurd that the UFC threw him against one of the most experienced men in the sport. I hope Toney catches Couture so I can tweet at Dana: :D
Griff- July 23, 2010 at 7:59 am
The Oracle is right.

Randy will win via technical slap out. He will slap Toney on the ground a few times, the ref will freak like they always do, and stop the fight. Toney will never be hurt.

That's what the UFC has evolved into. My wife calls it Slap-n-Tickle. It's turned into some boring ass shit.
SuckMyShinya- July 23, 2010 at 5:17 am
@ Oracle
Theres a BIG fucking difference in 2 drunk rednecks "grappling" in the parking lot of a bar, and two world class grapplers doing it. You know, the people that actually know what their doing?

FUCK James Toney. FUCK him right in his dirty ass. He really thinks he can just walk in without knowing what the fuck is going on and "Knock fools out!"? I hope Randy pats hit ass like he did Tito. Just hold him the fuck down and humiliate him.

And for people that say Randy is old and washed up, FUCK you too. Show some goddamn respect. Your only half right.
Darkside- July 22, 2010 at 11:07 pm
I think that Toney should fight wearing one boxing glove.
Seoul Brother- July 22, 2010 at 7:19 pm
@The Oracle of MMA: The presumption here, sir, is that Mush Mouth Toney is capable of cognitive patterns more advanced than an ink blot test. No, Toney is an athlete who was tolerated even though he pissed hot more than once. He claims he's a world champion, but that's like Josh Barnett claiming that he's still the UFC Heavyweight champion.. in spite of the fact that he pissed hot.

Toney is desperately trying to hold on to whatever glory his sweaty mitts once had. To quote GSP, I am not impressed with his performances. Your assessment of Randy Couture as a washed up fighter is overly harsh. Just because Tito and Chuck have had great problems in letting go and fading into history doesn't mean that Randy won't know when it's his time to go.

How long has it been since Toney has actively been a viable threat to any heavyweight boxer? And then the bigger question in terms of his relevance as an MMA fighter could be just how long has he been training in grappling, muay thai, Greco-Roman wrestling, other forms of Close Quarters Combat training, & martial arts? I mean he's a fucking RED BELT when it comes to the Ghetto Art of Jibba Jabba, but as far as anything more than funning his fat fucking mouth? I'd put him in the octagon with Mark Kerr for a fighter past his prime. Randy will beat the fucking crap out of him.
Joedirt- July 22, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Sudos KFC.... two reasons... one... cuz I believe it's a "him"... and two... I still like the other half of my stuff. Thank you for the relationship advice, I think instead of getting married I'll just find a girl I hate and buy her a house. Same thing... skip all the middle stuff and save time.
The Oracle of MMA- July 22, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Sadly enough I can understand the way Mr. Toney thinks. I'd rather watch anything else in the known universe than watch Randy "The Washed Up" Couture get into another 15 minute man-hug session.

MMA is obviously the ultimate in combat sport in a one-on-one situation. I recently watched an MMA guy here in Winnipeg get his face smashed in at The Tijuana Yacht Club because he chose to grapple during his bar-fight out in the parking lot. As he grappled with his opponent, who was of similar size around 200lbs, I thought to myself... "Self, this is looking to be another boring-ass Randy Couture style man-hug laden homo session." About 45seconds later Mr. MMA took a knock-out punch in the side of the head from a third man in. Mr. "Third Man In" promptly got laid out himself of course for his lack of "honor" by a fourth, fifth and sixth man into the fray.

Now while bar fights and parking lot brawls are two different beasts the point I am trying to relay is that once the man-hug fest began the entertainment value of the scrap fell to such a low point that people didn't even want to watch it anymore. The least intelligent among the spectators was so affected he threw caution, and a few teeth, to the wind.

Which is exactly the way a Randy Couture fight is these days. It's not like watching him fight polarizes the crowd to the extant that some get mad and some become elated, it's to the point that people won't even tune in to watch him fight.

Unless of course you throw him into the cage with some freak show.

Having said all this I don't even care who wins. I'll use the time slot of this fight to go buy a tray of shooters or shoot a game of pool.

Sudos KFC- July 22, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Well than why don't you marry him?
Joedirt- July 22, 2010 at 3:53 pm
nut puncher.... well said.
Nut Puncher 9000- July 22, 2010 at 3:02 pm
This boxing versus MMA crap needs to stop. Boxing is a part of MMA, just like wrestling, BJJ, MT, Karate, etc, etc, etc. Is it the most effective part of MMA? Its not currently thought to be that way, but when was the last time a boxer in his prime, competing at world Championship level , has fought in MMA??? We do, on the other hand, see the elite caliber wrestlers. At least take a moment to put that into perspective.

Even though the last thing I want is to see Couture lose, I really do not think people are giving Toney the credit he deserves. Couture is NOT a takedown artist. He is a clinch, Greco, Dirty boxer. In order for him to do that he will need to get a hold of Toney and avoid being smashed in the process. Even though JT is past his prime, so is Couture and JT was a World Champion boxer. With that comes a certain amount of skill that is never lost. I promise he has good footwork and good power/accuracy in his punches. People are so soon to forget that Liddell smashed Couture with little more than circling/sprawl and punches.
vengful1- July 22, 2010 at 2:16 pm
I think boxing rivals mma in the hugging category. Sure, some mma fights can be all hugging, and that is gay, but many have KOs from boxing, kicking, gnp, elbows, knees etc. And then there are subs. But nearly every boxing match that goes the distance ends up with two sweaty guys hugging each other. The ref breaks em up and they go back for more sweet, sweaty man hugging. So shut your fat, mumbly mouth at take your beating from randy. And take the hugs like a man.
Japanadian- July 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I hope Toney taps out from GnP strikes, herb dean doesn't even get time to step in.
Then let Roy Nelson submit him with the moon belly crucifix
Almost North- July 22, 2010 at 1:18 pm
In the event Toney wins I absolutely guarantee that if Bob Arum and his cohorts can stop raping the corpse of professional boxing long enough to get some more undeserved main stream media interviews it will be portrayed as boxing >MMA.
Joedirt- July 22, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Toney is just so entertaining though.... I would like to see a string of victories all from luck and watch him attribute them to his pit fighter skill.
Joedirt- July 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Please people... don't take this as MMA vs Boxing... even if Toney does.
Almost North- July 22, 2010 at 1:10 pm

And yet I still can't find his face.....
Seoul Brother- July 22, 2010 at 1:04 pm
James Toney is like Mush Mouth without the hat.
Jersey Shua- July 22, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Mike Russow had a puncher's chance against Todd Duffee.... But seriously, Toney has about 15-30 seconds at the beginning of each round to throw some punches before he ends up on his back.

God I hope Randy wins, if only for the sake of having a coherent post-fight interview with the winner.

Almost North- July 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Hopefully the production value of the fight broadcast this is better than the Mercer v Timmah video. At least the new freak show organization poopy pants works for can afford cameras.
cecils_pupils- July 22, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Imma say this: If Ray Mercer can lay-out Tim Silvia with one punch, then Mumbles can do the same to Randy.

Please, Randy, do not be stupid like Tim and try to stand with him - just take him down and mount that sumbitch, hump his damned leg for fifteen minutes if ya have to - nawmsayin?
Stak40- July 22, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Rex-Fuck that, as soon as i agreed to that shit, Silva would be doomed. Actually, that may be the only way Sonnen has a chance; succeed off of my horrible fucking luck.

AN-lol, now that you mention it...
El Guapo- July 22, 2010 at 11:58 am
Rex.. Carwin had a puncher's chance when he beat Brock.
Almost North- July 22, 2010 at 11:54 am

That t-shirt would be completely interchangeable with the entire welterweight division
ReX13- July 22, 2010 at 11:53 am
Stak >> If i get that shirt made, you and BoNasty get to wear em if Sonnen wins. And Toney has less chance against Couture than Werdum had against Fedor.

Seriously, when does anyone with "a puncher's chance" ever actually win? Not ever. And don't you dare point out evidence to the contrary.

-Rextum (damn near killed em)
Ballkick- July 22, 2010 at 11:52 am
JT is a caricature of an MMA fighter, I do not believe for one second that King Mo got submitted by JT. All a bunch of hyped up fucking lies!
After the asphyxiation of JT during this fight with Randy nothing will be settled. JT will still be convinced that Boxing is king and that he is it's potentate.
Even if he fought and lost 10 times he would not admit that MMA is the natural progression of fighting.The superior fighting style.
This guy is a fucking joke!
He still couldn't win a fight with a Muay Thai K1 fighter, no gay (his words not mine) wrestling or BJJ involved. He would get leg kicked into using a walker for a month.
Boxing is DONE! OVER!
Kno what I'm Sayin?.... James, Floyd Mayweather, Bob Arum et al !