(Striking fear in the hearts of buffet owners everywhere.)
Now that James Toney has signed with the UFC and hired a trainer known primarily for his boxing expertise, you might think he’d be hard at work trying to get a feel for this MMA stuff. If this were a movie, this is the point where some inspiring, upbeat music would accompany a training montage that shows Toney’s rapid improvement in the span of just a few minutes. But this isn’t a movie; this is real life. And in real life, “Lights Out” isn’t really that worried about anyone taking him down and laying on top of him.
As Toney told MMAFighting.com, he still has yet to do any actual MMA sparring, but has been shown some “basics” by Juanito Ibarra. He’s also “tried a little kickboxing and wrestling,” but isn’t too concerned since it’s “all hand-to-hand combat.” In other words, don’t even trip. Toney has got this under control, playa.
His dismissive attitude toward the ground game and total lack of a sense of urgency about learning MMA in general might be a little more disconcerting if Toney were expected to face an experienced fighter in his UFC debut. But as the rumor mill continues to churn, more and more reports have Kimbo Slice as a potential first opponent.
On Friday Matt Mitrione, who’s currently scheduled to take on Slice at UFC 113 in Montreal, told the Las Vegas Sun that he had “no clue” if his bout with ‘Ferg was still on, saying:
"To be truly honest, I haven’t heard a thing from the UFC, and it’s frustrating me. It’s my understanding that it took awhile to get his paperwork signed, but I’m sure it’s signed. …I texted Joe Silva (Thursday) night and asked what was happening, if there was any danger of this being cancelled. His response was basically that nothing was official and that I should keep preparing — that I’m still fighting in Montreal."
It seems as though the rumors that Kimbo might be pulled out of the fight to take on Toney had Mitrione spooked, as he concluded: "Where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire."
Toney doesn’t seem too excited about the prospect of fighting Kimbo, saying that he didn’t sign with the UFC “to be in a sideshow.” But if he’s expecting someone a little closer to the Randy Couture end of the MMA spectrum, he might want to get more serious about learning the ground game, and fast. If he’s planning to make his debut on a pay-per-view event this summer, as he claims, there’s precious little time to become an expert at sprawl-and-brawl.
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Comments
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:23
FAIL
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:24
? You need a montage! (Montage!) ? Thanks, now I'll have that song in my head all day.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:35
@ El Famous Burrito: Even Rocky had a montage! MONTAGE!
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:36
I wish I could be in Toney's dressing room before the fight to hear him ask what's up with the little fingerless gloves.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:36
who needs a ground game when they have a badass side check kick in their arsenal?!?!?!?!
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:41
anybody else want to see crocop head kick this guy into the twilight zone? He's the perfect height for it, and crocop is a guy who probably won't take it to the ground and ground and pound him or submit him in the first 32 seconds. Think about it, Dana White can either give him a can or someone like Kimbo who only uses his hands which means Toney would probably win and legitimize that ridiculous argument that boxers can hang with fighters in MMA or he can give him someone who will take it to the ground in the first five seconds and humiliate Toney which would be predictable and pointless... or he can choose option C; a fading superstar who has the name recognition to sell tickets and the standup ability to beat Toney in a striking match...otherwise known as Mirko CroCop.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:42
toney is so focused that he has even trained his bellybutton to spew electrolyte-enriched sweat straight up his fat stomach in between his boobs and into his mouth.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:45
TMZ is reporting that Toney was spotted at Best Buy this weekend picking seasons 1-8 of TUF to learn something about MMA sparring...........Not good.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:47
This is probably a point someone made long ago, but I lack to motivation to look it up. It just seems to be a sign of the apocolypse that in a fight (possibly) Kimbo would be the one coming in with the ground experience. If Kimbo does fight James "Order Out" Toney and is able to knock him out, that would be surprising. But..if he's able to -submit- him, that would be the stuff senior citizen war stories are made of. As for the montage bit..someone call Survivor. I don't think it'll be too difficult to cancel their gig at the mall opening, not to make a show of this magnitude.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:47
I think they should bring back Mark Coleman for this fight. Let the old guy go out on a highlight! But I think I'd rather see Randy. But, even if Toney gets Kimbo, he may still have some trouble. While Kimbo is no wrestling or BJJ expert by any means, his last fight showed that he is at least trying to learn, which is more than anyone can really say about Toney. I'd like to see Kimbo try to do some G&P on Lights Out, but it'll never happen. Bring in Coleman or Couture... Hell, cancel the GSP/Hardey fight (that no one really wants to see, anyway) and have GSP fight him. Weight class be damned!
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:48
"I miss you more than Michael bay missed the mark, when he made Pearl Harbor!" ...wait, wrong song. Funny anyway
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:49
I still think its a win win. :) We'll all get a big fat chuckle when he eventually gets his guaranteed clobbering. And it will only be gravy on top if we get to see some good clinch and elbows vs. world class boxing first before that happens. Toney vs. jackson IMO. The style matchup is great. There's the Juanito former/present student angle. And jackson doesn't plan on hanging around anyway so he either loses or wins in a joke fight and eases on down the road with no bragging rights. Plenty of laughs for all.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:50
baby j v. fat toney
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:52
bj wont put up with this bull shit. he would thoroughly embarass toney which IS what needs to happen. anything less than a completely dominating performance from toney's opponent will be a loss for mma. period.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:52
Just like he played Dana White for a contract, Toney is now playing the MMA media. He secretly trains BJJ in his garage late at night... With this attitude Toney might just get guillotine'd by Slice afterall.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 09:53
not to mention he is mma's best trash talker. i would pay to see the weigh-in if penn fought him
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:00
CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP CRO COP
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:02
Oh oh, the baby discovered cut and paste.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:10
I like the Toney vs. Jackson angle. The whole Ibarra past and present thing is good, plus it'll be fun to hear Jackson's smacktalk after the first Octagon Coma is delivered to Toney. I know Slice may have even more fans now, after TUF11 where he was shown to have a brain and a lot of charisma, but if he meets Toney in the ring, fuhgeddaboutit. I hate to say that Toney walks out of there with a win via KO in less than 3 min. K-Ferg doesn't have what it takes to beat Toney in a boxing match, and I have a feeling that natural instinct will take over for both fighters and a fight between them could only be end as a boxing bout. Also, after that abysmal performance against H. Alexander, I find myself questioning whether Kimbo Slice has a place competing in the UFC.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:12
The UFC is going to feed James Toney a bunch of sub-par fighters before he gets into anything special. So in my opinion it isnt a bad thing that Toney is first off, training at what he's good at; boxing. That way he can bring his boxing back up and then after he knocks out slice/ other crap fighters (Denis Stojnic anyone?) he can work his way to stopping the takedown and such. Toney won't ever be champ but im sure he'll have some good knockout reels. If the UFC puts him and Cro-cop one on one though... cro-cop will kick the shit out of him. Id be okay with that too haha
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:25
"Also, after that abysmal performance against H. Alexander, I find myself questioning whether Kimbo Slice has a place competing in the UFC." Oh goodness he really doesn't. Kimbo is a lot more of a freakshow than Toney. And I agree, Kimbo's boxing may not be bad for the backyard but he'll get tazered if he tries to strike with Toney. There are better MMA strikers that would be more competitive without immediately buckling or exposing Toney than Kimbo. Kimbo/Toney is a money fight in the worst way IMO. Its Putting too much freak show in one recipe like that.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:34
Props for his boxing career, but Toney comes from a sport where the ref separates you if you clinch more than 3 seconds. Give him Brandon Vera and let Vera knee the shit out of him while holding the back of his head with his fingers interlaced. Now THAT I would buy. But I'm not gonna spend a dime to watch Toney come in and be fed some beatable guys who think they're equal with their hands. Give him a Muy Tai guy, wrestler, or a Lil Nog who can twist his arm off for him. Or give him Jon Jones. I'd buy that, too. And I'd sign a petition to allow 12-6 elbows. And aluminum bats.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:36
Either way if this ends up being Kimbo vs. Mumbles, I am with robthom, we'll all get something out of it - even if it's just a laugh. Anyone (street fighter, boxer or otherwise) who comes into MMA thinking they don't have to worry about the fight going to the ground is a fool - we all remember what Seth Petruzelli did to Kimbo. Since then, even Kimbo has learned importance of the ground game. One thing is clear to me though: If it is Kimbo vs. Mumbles, one of them will end up feeling like they have earned some level of legitimacy in the sport after defeating the other. If Mumbles wins he'll say it proves boxing's superiority. If Kimbo wins, he'll say it proves that boxing ain't shit compared to MMA. The real "learning" for Mumbles, however, will never take place unless he gets schooled on the ground... which we would all love to see happen. He'll keep talkin' that same bullshit until it happens. Mumbles will get his rude awakening sooner or later.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:51
james toney's first fight will likely be in vegas and i highly doubt the nevada commision will let him fight anyone with more than 5 or 6 mma wins. at the same time, the opponent cannot be utterly outmatched by toney(even if it is mma). they have to have somebody who fits the bill perfectly from the cast of tuf10, but i do not remember most of them. i suspect kimbo would take the fight, but he does not have the chin for that fight. since he did pretty well for himself, with no notice, vs cro cop, that aussie named perosh might also be a good matchup...
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:55
I hope James Toney gets his freakin' neck broken, Sincerely, I hope it. I want James Toney to die. I want him to be the first to die of octagon-related injuries. Yeah...I went there.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 10:55
Perosh is more of a ground fighter. I dont know if the UFC would give Toney that. I am just curious to see how much of Toneys skillset he still has. I mean who knows. Im sure he could still fuckup Stephen Bonner. lol.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:03
thats a great matchup! i would love to see the american psycho vs mumbles(it's a catchy nickname), but i highly doubt an atheltic commision would allow that fight.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:15
Let Cro Cop give him the LHK chop to the dome. Lights out Toney, go home. You'll be unconscious and all alone. You speak as if you're a mumbling drone. Get your brain reconfigured, while your at it, get rid of that fat on your face cuz it's disfigured. Get out of the cage Toney, you ain't the man homie. AIIITE TAKE MY RHYMES TO THE STREETS, PEACE
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:16
Fat Toney doesn't get mad, he gets stabby.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:21
@cecils pupils petruzelli v. kimbo had absolutely nothing to do with ground game. as a matter of fact, seth was instructed to stand and bang with kimbo. so how did getting ko'd on his feet teach kimbo to learn the ground game?
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:23
i like fat toney better than mumbles. shaq should be mumbles(only a matter of time before he thinks he can fight too)
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:31
my apologies, whitey, coffee hasn't kicked in yet. I actually meant Big Country. Yes, Seth KO'd him. But Big Country laid his fat ass on top of him in crucifix style.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:35
I'm for cro cop. Imagine a flush shin to temple head kick and fat ass dropping to the ground lifeless or better yet deficating all over the cage and urinating himself
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:55
Viva Hate Says: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 09:45 TMZ is reporting that Toney was spotted at Best Buy this weekend picking seasons 1-8 of TUF to learn something about MMA sparring...........Not good. ____________________________________ The saddest part: I'm more inclined to believe that this is true than I'm inclined to believe that this is a joke. How about throwing Toney in with Frank Mir? Mir was able to take the beating from Lesnar long enough to exploit the guy's (at the time) complete lack of an understanding of jiu jitsu.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 11:57
I, too, gotta go with Cro Cop. At first glance, Mumbles-Ferg looks like a no-brainer. But after smoking a bowl, drinking a Shock Top or four, I'm thinking maybe it's not such a good idea... I even wrote a children's book about it. "Kimbo gets demolished if stands with Fat Fuck IMO. I mean, his striking isn't exactly Spider-esque. Has he EVER even attempted a kick? Dude's got heavy hands, yes, but that's right up Mumbles'z alley. So if Ferg actually does try to take it to the ground(Uhhhh, shudder, dry heave), it's gonna be one stank ass fight, naw'msayin? Now with Crop Cop, he has too much pride to take Toney down. I could see him chopping Fat Fuck down to bits with leg kicks, crumbling him to the floor over and over, yet letting him up for seconds, thirds, fourths, etc., punishing his ass for everybody's amusement. Mumbles limps away with his tail between his legs never to be heard from again and we all lived happily ever after. The End"
Mon, 03/08/10 - 12:19
Give him Cain. The cardio machine of the HW division. He will double leg him into the next year.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 12:30
Although Cain is probably busy with importan fights.. It would be fun none the less.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:01
Start slow, give him Irvin, Gonzaga, then Cro-Cop, and throw in a little Mir so he can understand this whole submission thing
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:03
crocop is barely motivated to fight anyone. he already said that he finds himself thinking about fishing in croatia while he is in the cage. i say give him penn. bj will FUCK HIM UP! i dont care about weight class either. it would be even more of an embarrasment if fat toney got beat by a smaller fighter. i really don't care who he fights i just want him embarrased.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:10
How much money would we all have to pitch in for Buffer to bring back the 360 and announce him as "James Mumbles TOOOOONNNNEEEYYYYYY."
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:40
Budsellers has a good point about the athletic commissions. I hadn't even considered that. Crocop would be an interesting fight, but he's got a gang of MMA experience. Maybe for the 2nd or third fight if Toney looks good and shows something in the first one. But it sounds smacking of irresponsible to throw a first time MMA novice in a fight with CroCop. My jackson idea probably wouldn't work right out of the gate either for the same reason. As sleazy as it sounds it might end up having to be Kimbo.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:45
That's it! Gonzaga. Can't stand the guy myself - I think he's a fucking gorilla who thinks he's allathat + a bag of chips, just because he's huge and brazilian. Put him against someone who has any skill and is not on the downslope of his career and he's finished. But Mumbles, or Fat Fuck as I call him, is perfect. Perfect because Gonzaga will take him down and pull his intestines out of his belly button. Then he's gonna do that Captain Insane-O face he does when he wins, and he's gonna think he's all badass like he did after he beat Cro Cop. Then, just for fun Silva's gonna give him a shot against a real heavyweight, he'll get crushed again and we won't see him for two years. I don't like Gonzaga at all, but he makes a good case for the mutant factor. When the fight's over, and Mumbles is on his back staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck just happened, the coup de grace would be for Gonzaga to take a Big Mac and stuff it in Toney's mouth, as he lays there reflecting on how much of a douche he is.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:55
Yeti, it wasn't really beating cro cop that made him think he was bad ass, it was more the way he beat cro cop that gave him his captain insane-o adrenaline rush.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 01:55
Guys lets be serious.. if he's going to fight its going to be at 205 or heavy weight.. (i doubt the 205 but whatever) So we have to look at fighters in those weight classes anything else is wack. at 205 - Forrest.. ( he'll kick the shit out of toney) at heavy - Crocop ( for all reasons listed above) for this whole athletic commisions talk at 205 - jon jones ( if he loses) or ryan bader-> that would just be mean to lights out at heavy - james McWEENIE.. im sure that could go thru.. and if mcweenie loses.. who cares that guys a deuchbag..
Mon, 03/08/10 - 02:24
Maybe the reason Dana signed Toney was because he is paying James in gum.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 02:31
Let Wes Sims fight him. Sims' head will be punched clean off of his body, and if he survives that, he'll relaize it's all over for him, where he'll retire to his cardboard box under the bridge where he lives and kill himself. Finally. And that, in an indirect way, will be the first octagon fatality. We just need the old Chinese guy to be standing over him when he dies to say, "F A T A L I T Y."
Mon, 03/08/10 - 02:39
Todd Duffee...? Too much potential value to the UFC to put him up against this fat ass?
Mon, 03/08/10 - 02:45
You know, we're making this way too complicated! What with the commisions, weight classes, hypothetical matchups and such. Kimbo-Mumbles it is. Over/under time, folks. How long till they both gas badly, we say "Fuuuuuck this" and change it to Strikeforce? Not trying to be a Debbie Downer or anything, but let's be honest here. Mumbles looks pregnant with twins and Ferg's arthritic knees prevent him from conditioning properly. I'll say midway through the 2nd..
Mon, 03/08/10 - 03:01
I believe they stated Toney will eventually fight at 205. That's what his plans are. He walks around at about 220 or something.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 03:03
blame this whole james tony shit on ray mercer/tim sylvia
Mon, 03/08/10 - 03:18
macwiener would be a good matchup too. i do not mind seeing mumbles win a fight against a real d-bag like that!
Mon, 03/08/10 - 04:11
Something tells me Tony is using tactics. That's not to say that he'll be good at MMA, but Juanito trained a former champion. Tony will know how to sprawl, but he won't be able to show it because he'll be too busy trying to punch. His 3-4 months of training won't be enough to prepare him for the MMA big leagues.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 04:15
It doesn't matter who he fights, it's going to end very badly and Dana White is going to be ringside attempting to pull out his hair; he'll get into his danacopter and mosey on over to the office and burn Toney's contract and cry in the corner until he falls asleep. Even if he was 100% focused on his preparation, at his age it just won't happen for him. After Randy Couture throttled Mark Coleman it became somehow more obvious that Randy is NOT your typical old man river and it does not really give other over the hill fighters any hope. Even if Kimbo is his opponent, he'll attempt a telegraphed take down from the outside miles away, and you'll watch Toney in awe as he somehow is forced into that homo grapplin' shit. It will be a sad sight to watch.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 06:25
JT cant even get his weight under control let alone the "mma basics".
Mon, 03/08/10 - 06:30
There are a lot of funny comments on this thread. This topic has generated a lot of interest. James Toney is not even a tenth of the freakshow that Kimbo is. Kimbo is only famous because of Youtube, not because he's good at fighting. In all of the his street fights, he mercilessly beat the hell out of two types of opponents: (1) big fat dudes, (2) significantly smaller dudes. Kimbo is famous because a shitload of youtube-using Americans enjoyed watching a living, breathing, black masculine stereotype beat up people who had no chance against him. Then he used his fame to leap-frog into MMA, fought a few freak-show fights before getting KTFO by a fighter from a smaller weight-class, and Dana White scooped him up for TV ratings and raw freakshow appeal. He got embarrassed by Big Country on TUF, showed slightly more versatility in his awful stupid fight against Houston Alexander, and is probably going to be embarrassed again by a Mitrione. In short, for the absurd amount of attention he receives, Kimbo sucks as a fighter, and James Toney would/will wreck him. Kimbo is only popular, in my opinion, because of the mythology in American culture surrounding masculinity and urban minorities.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 07:03
Everyone who is talking Cro Cop must be stuck in 2006 because his UFC stint has been laughable, for god sakes he just retired 2 fights ago, and admitted he didn't want to hurt his last opponent. Not to say he couldnt beat a James Toney but I think WE Potato Nation! as back seat match makers, should take no chances. Thats right, Im talkin' Brock Lesnar Vs. James Toney for the Heavy weight Strap, Summer or 2010. Leap frog Frank Mir, Shane Carwin, Cane, and the whole lot of em. Shit James Toney has earned this opportunity, don't beleive me? Just ask him.... On a side note, no one gives Melvin Manhoef this musch shit... just sayin. Toney has a martial art, a very effective one, let him test it. He doesnt deserve to be in the UFC, but neither did Brock Lesnar, you know...The champ.
Mon, 03/08/10 - 07:13
Ok, we can all shut up about Ferg and Toney getting on for now. The Kimbo/Meathead fight was just officially added on to the UFC 113 line up. No word yet, on who will be the first one to experience the unveiling of the side check kick.
Tue, 03/09/10 - 12:09
Toney versus Kimbo is fucking retarded. Talk about a letdown. If the UFC puts that together much respect will be lost. Kimbo has mediocre boxing and limited takedown and ground game. I'll be surprised if he gets Toney down before a bomb puts him away - not that Toney needs to put much behind a strike to KO Mr. Glassjaw. Who the fuck is the genius asking for this? Even Toney knows it's a joke.
Tue, 03/09/10 - 01:47
"Kimbo is famous because a shitload of youtube-using Americans enjoyed watching a living, breathing, black masculine stereotype beat up people who had no chance against him." The ole "black beast". Its a murikan institution.
Tue, 03/09/10 - 02:01
Durden is correct: "Kimbo vs. Mitrione at UFC 113 official by Thomas Gerbasi source: ufc.com "The Kimbo Slive vs Matt Mitrione bout which was rumored to be at UFC 113, and then falsely rumored to be pulled from UFC.com leading to speculation that James Toney was replacing Mitrione, is now official." This is good news. 1. No Toney/Kimbo 2. Mitrione is gonna spank him. 3. The Toney mystery narrows down, yet becomes even more intriguing. :)
Tue, 03/09/10 - 10:10
Can we just match this jackass up against JDS/Carwin/Other large wrestler. Let's put this joker away.
Tue, 03/09/10 - 10:31
your mom called me baby
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