(Keep an eye out for the James Toney workout tape, in stores now. Makes a perfect Christmas gift for people you hate.)
Don’t ask us why, but former boxing great James Toney has got it in his head that he wants to fight in the UFC. Maybe he’s just that blissfully unaware of the full compliment of skills it takes to compete at that level of MMA. Maybe he’s punch-drunk and is not in complete control of what comes out of his mouth. Maybe he’s just in dire need of some attention/money. Whatever the root cause is, he tried to bolster his case while attending UFC 107 in Memphis last weekend, and it sounds like he didn’t quite make the stellar impression that he seems to believe he did:
“I met up with Dana. He was cool and said we could do business. We exchanged numbers and I texted him all night, ‘Don’t forget chicken shit!’ But I was sitting behind Chuck Liddell and I could tell he was uncomfortable with my presence. …I think I can break records with the UFC. I would fight Kimbo Slice, Chuck Liddell, or Randy Couture. Brock Lesnar, too. He could get it and we would do a ton of buys.”
In Toney’s mind, the meeting with Dana White and the exchange of phone numbers may have been a binding business contract, with his participation in future UFC events further solidified by a text message that called his prospective future boss a ‘chicken shit.’
In reality, we’re going to guess that DW was just being polite to the 41-year-old boxer, and we’re also going to guess that if Liddell was uncomfortable, it was probably not because he was scared of a future fight with Toney. More likely, it was because he has this weird hang-up about guys sitting behind him and staring at the side of his head all night as if trying to figure out how he’s feeling at any given moment.
Obviously, Toney’s chances of facing Liddell in the Octagon are about as good as his chances of being named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man of the Year.” If he really wants to fight in MMA, he should probably look elsewhere. I hear Strikeforce is looking for guys to face Herschel Walker…