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James Toney Still Wants to Fight in the UFC, Still Out of His Damn Mind

James Toney
(Keep an eye out for the James Toney workout tape, in stores now.  Makes a perfect Christmas gift for people you hate.)

Don’t ask us why, but former boxing great James Toney has got it in his head that he wants to fight in the UFC. Maybe he’s just that blissfully unaware of the full compliment of skills it takes to compete at that level of MMA. Maybe he’s punch-drunk and is not in complete control of what comes out of his mouth. Maybe he’s just in dire need of some attention/money. Whatever the root cause is, he tried to bolster his case while attending UFC 107 in Memphis last weekend, and it sounds like he didn’t quite make the stellar impression that he seems to believe he did:

“I met up with Dana. He was cool and said we could do business. We exchanged numbers and I texted him all night, ‘Don’t forget chicken shit!’ But I was sitting behind Chuck Liddell and I could tell he was uncomfortable with my presence. …I think I can break records with the UFC. I would fight Kimbo Slice, Chuck Liddell, or Randy Couture. Brock Lesnar, too. He could get it and we would do a ton of buys.”


In Toney’s mind, the meeting with Dana White and the exchange of phone numbers may have been a binding business contract, with his participation in future UFC events further solidified by a text message that called his prospective future boss a ‘chicken shit.’

In reality, we’re going to guess that DW was just being polite to the 41-year-old boxer, and we’re also going to guess that if Liddell was uncomfortable, it was probably not because he was scared of a future fight with Toney. More likely, it was because he has this weird hang-up about guys sitting behind him and staring at the side of his head all night as if trying to figure out how he’s feeling at any given moment.

Obviously, Toney’s chances of facing Liddell in the Octagon are about as good as his chances of being named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man of the Year.” If he really wants to fight in MMA, he should probably look elsewhere. I hear Strikeforce is looking for guys to face Herschel Walker…

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Bandy13- December 17, 2009 at 5:33 pm
the last time chuck saw titts like that was when he was at crazy horse 2!
of course he is going to look perplexed!
Sully- December 17, 2009 at 1:11 am
Looks like a fat black late Marlon Brando
SiDeBuRnZ- December 16, 2009 at 9:39 pm
If only Kim Couture had sugar-free-tits.
Dave Chappelle- December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm
toney has sugar-tits.
Joedirt- December 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm
meanfinger... like I said... I don't think he would do well... I just think he would still beat kimbo. I think a world class boxer would fuck shit up. I don't think a world class boxer would be unstoppable but I do think they could learn some solid take down defense better than a top notch grappler can learn to strike. But again as I have said a million times until the money is there no decent boxer will ever attempt a cross over.... just washed up boxers looking for a last shot at fame.
DaltonSwayze- December 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Toney's days as a world class boxer are way way way behind him, and he's always had spotty dedication to training(which is how he ended up as a heavyweight when he should've gone no higher than 175) so I doubt he'd develop a ground game or even decent take down defense.

He's not a knockout puncher and he got outboxed by Samuel freaking Peter, and he's old and fat, and he would still beat Cro Cop of today
meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 2:44 pm
dont get me wrong tho.. toney is a beast. but this is MMA.. and if i wanted to see a boxer get fucked up.. toss money mayweather's skinny black ass in there first!!
meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 2:40 pm
you must be high. joe dirtayy. i know ur parents abandoned u and all.. but cagepotato is no place for skinny kid with a mullet
Joedirt- December 16, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Toney won't make it in MMA... but he would knock Kimbo out faster than me in bed with Jessica Alba. Kimbo would only be getting his bread if it's soaked and through a straw after that fight.
meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 2:07 pm
yeah he would beat kimbo if it were a boxing match.. go check out the kimboplex!! dont u see the ground game growing?? kimbo is evolving into an MMA fighter, he's not gonna wanna stand and bang like it was goin down in a backyard anymore.. hes gettin his bread!! and he knows thats his ass will get cut if he loses just liike anyone else.. guaranteed if chuck gets his mohawk re arranged by tito.. its only a matter of time before they actually tell him NO MAS
robthom- December 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm
A god among tubs of goo IMO.
Joedirt- December 16, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Toney is washed up... but why all the hate on boxing?? I mean.... if somebody trains strictly in Ju Jitsu you people aren't trashing that person. Anderson Silva dismantled Forest Griffin in basically what was a display of ONLY boxing skill. I'm not saying all boxers would kick ass I'm just saying they stand as good a chance as any other single discipline. However I will say that the MMA world has had some of the worlds top grappler's but has NEVER had a world class boxer (in his prime).... it wouldn't be worth even trying without more money being there. Again... I'm not saying this is a smart move on Toney's part... but if his only fight was Kimbo... Toney would go undefeated.
Robocop Didnt Tap- December 16, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@ Rex

Totally. Zimmer via 3rd inning Zimmerplata.
Kimbos Bread- December 16, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Toney is definitely a top dog in the boxing world.

In MMA he will most definitely draw in a crowd, but that will only last until he gets choked unconscious, gets a limb rearranged, or gets KTFOed. Unfortunately this will likely happen in his first MMA match, which means he will tarnish his image and will likely not make much more money after that.

meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 12:36 pm
that pic looks like a bobby lashley trim spa add.. before pic

as far as mercer tapping to stand the fight up.. i've never heard that before.. but it wouldnt surprise me. but that excuse doesnt go far with me, cuz he's a boxer and should dropped his ass like he did timmeh.. but he didnt, and we all know kimbo has a black belt, wit a big ass gold fist chain
831 Son- December 16, 2009 at 12:26 pm
This fool would get subbed so fast. I bet the all the lightweights could wreck him.
ReX13- December 16, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Toney stands no chance against Zimmer.
DaltonSwayze- December 16, 2009 at 11:59 am
I heard somewhere that Ray Mercer tapped to Kimbo because he thought that meant the fight got stood back up. Can't remember where I heard it or what. Has anyone else heard that?

Toney would definitely beat Liddell today, or probably any Liddell at all. I don't think he'd match up well with any of the heavyweights other than Kongo, maybe.

I'd pay good money to see Vitali in the cage, though
Dmonicideals- December 16, 2009 at 11:36 am
Yeeeeeah, so what the fuck is wrong with the site? It is runing like 4lbs of frozen shit and keeps flagging any comment as spam. Git yo shit togetha, boys.
Dr.- December 16, 2009 at 11:16 am
We can all thank Timmeh Fucking Sylvia for getting knocked out by an aged former boxing champ.

Now all boxers think they can run a train on the MMA world.

Best of luck, fuckers.
meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 10:36 am
well that makes two of us fucked up in the head.. this kinda reminds me of that kid that was just o.k at basketball and he just wanted to be on the team. even if he has to guard the fat stinky dude for 4 quarters even tho the dude scores 40 pts on em..
skeletor- December 16, 2009 at 10:25 am
@ meanfinger

Yeah I forgot about that Mercer fight until after I wrote that. If Kimbo went for the choke he might be able to beat him. But if he stands with him it's only a matter of time before Kimbo goes down.

Or better yet sign Toney and Mercer to one fight contracts and let them have an over the hill boxing match with 4 oz. gloves. Wouldn't mean shit in terms of any future in MMA but would almost certainly end in a brutal k.o. I'd pay to see that shit. But that's probably because I'm fucked up in the head.

Robocop Didnt Tap- December 16, 2009 at 10:16 am
"we’re going to guess that DW was just being polite"

Horseshit! Dana doesn't know the meaning of the word polite. Polite is for pussies.
meanfinger- December 16, 2009 at 10:13 am
yo skeletor.. did u know kimbo's first mma match was against ray mercer? did u see what ray mercer did to tim sylvia?

toney needs to get on the internet and google scott coker, maybe even herschel walker.. u smell what im cookin??
skeletor- December 16, 2009 at 10:09 am
@ Merlin

Boxers talk big because until recently (the last 10 years) they were taken seriously as the upper tier of combat sports. Now there glory is fading (gone) especially at HW and they think they can still beat people up in a real fight, not a boxing match. I say give him a chance, he could probably beat Kimbo pretty bad but not a real credible HW. Hopefully Dana just does it and lets him get his ass kicked real quick and throws it boxing's face.
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