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Jared Shaw Googles Himself, Doesn’t Like What He Sees

(Props: CageToday and "Juggo")

Our bro Ariel Helwani has landed his first big "get" at — Jared Shaw, the stomach-tattooed uber-douche who acted as EliteXC Vice President during his father’s ill-fated promotional reign with the company. We scanned the interview hoping to find a quote in which Jared referred to himself in the third person, and Young Shaw did not disappoint. But before that, we were saddened to see $kala’s negative take on MMA blogs. (And after all we’ve done for you!) The whole thing is worth reading, but for now, check out this excerpt:

Did you ever think of buying EliteXC’s assests before Strikeforce eventually did?
No, I mean, did I have an opportunity to make an offer or to gain the funding to try to acquire it myself? Yes, of course. I was given an opportunity like I guess everybody in the world was given an opportunity to make a bid on the assests. At the end of the day, I just chose not to because I just thought that I love the sport of MMA and I love the fighters. And if I am not going to get the fair shake that I think I rightfully deserve, then I am not going to do an injustice to the rest of them. I am not going to do an injustice to the sport by giving it a black eye if the fans just don’t want to embrace the Shaws. The one thing is that MMA is a very hateful circle; there isn’t a lot of journalism. I speak to you because I respect you. There’s a couple of other guys covering this sport that I respect a lot. But there’s too many bloggers in this sport. There’s too many people sitting in their cubicles, not doing their job, and when they are done with Facebook and Myspace, they are blogging on their own little Internet site or on some other forum. Unfortunately, because this sport is new, television executives have to go on the Internet and rely on the information they see, and a lot of times they see information that is inaccurate…*
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently during your time with EliteXC?
Yeah, get control of the 55 million dollars! (laughs). Obviously, I wish I wasn’t standing up when Kimbo got hit (by Seth Petruzelli on October 4th), and I wish that I didn’t have such a close, personal relationship with Kevin Ferguson (aka Kimbo Slice) that it looked like an injustice because it was never that. I am a straight shooter, I am very kosher.

Why did you react that way? Do you wish you could have controlled your emotions a little better?
Yes, I wish I could have controlled my emotions. But me standing up had nothing to do with the knockdown. There’s some people who know the story of why I was standing, and I don’t want to get into it**, but it evolved into a legal issue outside of the cage. When the bell rang, I just happened to be getting to my seat. It was 12 seconds, you can’t sit down quick enough. So, yeah, I wish I could have contained my emotions so people would have a different picture painted of Jared Shaw.*** Unfortunately if you Google my name, you see, ‘Jared Shaw embarrasses himself again on national television.’**** At the end of the day, my only regret is in that in that one instance that I know I did have control over, that I would have reacted differently because I wouldn’t ever in a million years take anything away from Seth Petruzelli. He did a fantastic job that night and he stopped the myth.

* "Of course I didn’t re-name myself $kala as part of a retarded attempt at a white-boy rap career. You must have read that on the Internet, didn’t you."

** The story of why Jared Shaw was standing and yelling when Seth Petruzelli was beating Kimbo’s ass is actually a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top. All we can say is: Follow the money.

*** Finally, the speaking-in-third-person thing. You had us worried for a minute.

**** Whoa, he’s right. And hey, how about this?

Read the rest of the interview to hear Jared discuss haters, bad management ("if you got too many chiefs in the kitchen, there’s no cook"), and that punk-ass Ken Shamrock.


  1. Old, Bald and Irish Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:44

    OMG....LOL'ing at "Jared Shaw is a Good Person"! And yeah, I hate it when there are too many "chiefs" in the kitchen. I wish $kala would stop shooting himself in the foot and aim a little higher... at his head.
  2. Kadumel Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:45

    LOL @ JARED SHAW IS A GOOD PERSON!!!! Ben give Ben a shirt!
  3. Ooberkaos Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:49

    He's right about the "bloggers" , you realize. We're killing mma. Its why i stopped watching wrestling a few years ago - people just analyze and critique the sh*t into the ground, and its not fun anymore. Plus, when the best opinion on mma anyone can come up with it "War Wand!!!", its a broken system. ooberkaos
  4. richorama Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:50

    My pubes > Jared Shaw
  5. Sloshy Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:53

    I was given some free tickets to the st. valentines day massecre boxing match in ft. lauderdale and im local so i figured hey ill check it out. Turns out it was a Gary Shaw promoted match and guess who was there. $kala in the flesh and wearing some faggot ass scarf while sitting next to kimbo. I swear you could feel the douch-level in the arena rise when this failure was walking in, I thought it was all internet talk. but the doucheiness was off the charts that valentines day, thank god I didnt see him at the after party, with all the hookers walking around the smell of douche was far too strong already.
  6. Dana White is a HOMO Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:54

    Jared Shaw is a good HOMO! I wish he would go work at subway-if they would hire him..! He is bad for the sport! He is bad for humanity!!
  7. Batman Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 01:58

    Jared Shaw embarrasses himself again during interview.
  8. Daddy Doug Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:04

    hulk hogan in the background is classic. he was probably about to step in to fight kimbo as well.
  9. Jeffro Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:06

    I hate this guy so much. I cannot wait until he fades away into obscurity. "There’s too many people sitting in their cubicles, not doing their job..." At least I have a job Mother Fucker. And I have never Myspaced or Facebooked.
  10. shitwhistle Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:10

    Ooberkaos, just what the hell are you talking about? The reason you should have stopped watching wrestling is because that shit is stupid.
  11. half-baked Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:41

    haha i dont hate the kid that badly
  12. biohazardone Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:49

    Jared Shaw, what a dumb fuck. He really looked bad during elite xc's last event. It further solidified the fact that the fight involving kimbo and seth was rigged or in better terms, influenced to possibly change the way the fight could have ended. I think the Shaws could have done well for themselves in mma if they would have just played their cards right. The fucking mockery they showed in their first event on cbs left everyong this pro wrestling? you know what, fuck the shaws!!!!! The appled does not fall far from the tree. Skala is a total peace of shit....stupid fucker!!!!!
  13. FateWillTell Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 03:00

    Yeah... Let's give it up for Jared Shaw. I mean, he was just sitting down, its not like his cash cow got go soft jabbed and fell to the ground !?! Jared was just sitting down!!! Let calm down folks... JS is a good guy. Best,
  14. BIG CHRIS Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 03:03

    The Myth?? He beat the the Myth? Kimbo?? **laughing hysterically**
  15. Acrocerid Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 04:26

    Announcement to the Jewish community, new meat: $kala! 100% Kosher.
  16. Dedstrk Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 04:26

    Would somebody please get all these chiefs out of my fucking kitchen.
  17. Dex Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 05:28

    What movie is that gif from?
  18. chuck's gut Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 05:37

    lol, I hate jared shaw because he had what most of us dream of, an MMA org with great fighters on network tv, and he couldn't help but fuckin it up and looking shady while he did it. the only thing he got right in that interview was admitting that if he bought elite xc the org would have instantly lost credibility.
  19. Than Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 06:31

    I never saw that clip in such slow motion before...he is clearly yelling "Fight Back!"
  20. Anonymous Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 07:24

    the clip is from the chapelle show and it is not $kala. It was actually the co-writer neal brennan. From the clayton bixby black KKK skit.
  21. Ashlee Vance Says:

    Tue, 03/03/09 - 08:23

    How did this douchebag look any worse than the UFC's matchmaker when he did the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING? We all knew Shaw was a douche before, his freakout didnt surprise us. But when the UFC's top fight fixer does the same.... oooh let's not talk about it. Of course not, you'd need some backbone to do that. So go on a pick on the feeble retard, we know you lack the balls to pick on a real target.
  22. Jay Says:

    Wed, 03/04/09 - 05:50

    Jared Shaw is the chlamydia in the throat of MMA.
  23. Scar Tissue Says:

    Wed, 03/04/09 - 07:05

    ROFLOL! Now that google search link for Jarred Shaw is a good person comes up with this post!
  24. Erick757 Says:

    Wed, 03/04/09 - 08:09

    Did $kala say "too many chiefs in the kitchen there's no cook" should it be chefs?Oh JS +5 douche bag points.
  25. Anonymous Says:

    Tue, 03/17/09 - 09:05

    Hey Ashlee "Get in my pants" Vance there is a difference. Joe Silva was excited cause a real deal up and coming fighter like Jon "Bones" Jones threw a vicious throwing elbow that sent Stephan Bonnar back to the jurassic period and we all felt his enthusiasm. Skala was Kimbo's little butt buddy puppet who never earned shit in his life and saw his only excuse for success flushed down the toilet. Jared Shaw did not earn anything in his life and would not piss on you if you were burning. This sport means something to people, fuck that little prick!!!!!!!!!
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    [...] Jared Shaw Googles Himself, Doesn’t Like What He Sees …Mar 3, 2009 … Our bro Ariel Helwani has landed his first big "get" at — Jared Shaw, the stomach-tattooed uber-douche who acted as EliteXC Vice … [...]
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