MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller Releases Rastafarian-Themed Apology Following His Domestic Violence Arrest, And It Is F*cking Crazy


(We still haven’t tracked down Miller’s latest mugshot, but in the meantime, here’s a photo of him in drag dancing with a sexy cop.)

In his first public statement since he allegedly beat up a woman at his home, former MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller has published a post on his official website apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Now, admitting guilt on the Internet might not be the wisest move from a legal perspective if he intends to fight the charges later. Then again, he might be building an airtight case for temporary insanity. Check out Miller’s statement below, along with our annotations…

HEARMENOW*

To Who it Concerns:

I and I** beg for forgiveness. If I have brought shame or pain upon Anna, her Father, her Mother, her Sister, her children and Shiloh. Know this; JAH THE ALMIGHTY*** SHALL JUDGE AND NO-MAN.

I LOVE YOU.

I APOLOGIZE WITH ALL MY HEART, DURING THE MOST CHALLENGING TIME OF MY life, I ask only for YOU TO UNNASTAN. 33.****

Samakatuwid magsisi at palayasin sa gayon na ang iyong mga kasalanan ay maaaring wiped-out
Mga Gawa 03:19*****

-J. Mayhem Lion******

//////////////

* “Hear me now” (pronounced “ear mih nah”) is a common expression in reggae/dancehall music, as well as in reggae/dancehall parodies.

** “I and I” is a Rastafari expression used to signify the oneness of God and Man.

*** “Jah” is the Rastafari name for God.

**** Unclear. Miller may have been pondering the timeless mystery of the Rolling Rock bottle.

***** As far as I can tell, Mayhem is phonetically transcribing Acts 3:19 in tagalog. Acts 3:19 reads, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Makes sense.

****** i.e., the Lion of Judah, an Ethiopian symbol for Emperor Haile Selassie I borrowed by the Rastafari movement. When used by an American, it often signifies a disturbing shift in identity.

So yeah, pretty bizarre stuff. We can only hope that one day, after he’s released from jail, Mayhem can look back on this insanity and blame it on sleep-deprivation and energy drinks.

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