MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Jenna Jameson To Have Two of Tito Ortiz’s Babies, Consecutively


(“We’re thinking about home-schooling them.”)

Twins, in other words. From venerable gossip site PerezHilton:

Double The Baby Joy!

As PerezHilton.com was the first to exclusively confirm, Jenna Jameson and boyfriend Tito Ortiz are expecting their first child. Well, now, sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that the blonde beauty is having twins!

“They’re having twins,” a friend of the superstar tells us. “Jenna and Tito just found out. They are beyond thrilled!”

The happy couple just bought a new — much bigger home — for their growing family in the beach near Los Angeles, sources tell us.

Congrats to the happy couple!!!

Perez’s enthusiasm seemed to come as a shock to his readers, who were perhaps expecting him to illustrate the article with penises crudely drawn on an ultrasound photo. Some sample comments…

rondonna: “This site is a fucking joke anymore. Why would we congratulate this pig and her loser husband. That poor kid, oh, my mom was a porn star, Poor thing.”

PooPooButt: “Hope they both die, what a horrible existance it would be to have that fucked off whore as a mother.”

BritneyBitch: “What the fuck is up with Perez supporting a true whore and hating on a young teen girls who are not even whore…yet he calls them sluts? Must be really hard being a fat man who takes cock in the ass.”

And so on. Feel free to suggest names for the double-bundles of joy in the comments section. If they’re boys, I’m thinking “Team” and “Punishment,” and if they’re girls, maybe “Punishment” and “Athletics.”

(Props: “Old, Bald & Irish”)

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
Anonymous- December 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I am so happy for them. I love Jenna and Tito! Congrats!!!!

The babies should be beautiful and so luck to have them as parents.
C.R.E.A.M.- September 24, 2008 at 12:28 am
A Thousand Dollars says the babies walk about with cum of there faces... any takers?
KG- September 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Peter North, the Dallas Cowboys Football team, and the entire Western Hemisphere to Tito Ortiz: Hows my pee pee pee taste?
cupcake- September 23, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Bennifer, Brangelina, we'd like to introduce you to "Tetta"
Jake- September 23, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Haywood Jablomey and Dickson Myass for either.

Tito must love a challenge, because he has really dug a hole for himself. He talks so much shit to people, but now everyone on the planet has an automatic comeback: "Oh yeah, well your girl eats cum and assholes for a living..." How do you respond to someone pointing out that the girl you bang, the food you eat, the car you drive, and everything you have is tainted with other dudes jiz. I can barely handle it when a girl tells me she's been with three guys.
Krakavelli- September 23, 2008 at 1:33 pm
These kids are going to be hybrid superstars bringing the first ever ground and pound action to porn flicks world wide! Not only will she eat a dick, but she'll eat a fist in the process!
mentasm- September 23, 2008 at 11:02 am
Its not twins. It's tito jnr and his head
ninja stick- September 23, 2008 at 7:16 am
Tito looks like a blown up mini me.. as for the names how about WAYNE KERR ORTIZ
or PHIL MYANUS ORTIZ and for a girl NORMA STITS ORTIZ OR SHELLA BLIGE ORTIZ
when i didnt know a thing about MMA i like watching TITO fight but seeing how he chickened out of fighting the "bigger boys" i'm glad he;s gone (Tito tell me what does a 1000 dicks taste like???)
the glza- September 23, 2008 at 1:41 am
i have never seen jenna look so freakin good, but then again, i don't think i've ever seen any of her movies. usually, though she looks sickly and kind of gross.

i'm happy for them... i wish the family well, but i hope tito keeps getting his ass handed to him in the cage.
tall kitchen bags- September 23, 2008 at 12:33 am
all kidding aside, i'm sure jenna and tito are genuine in their desire to start a family, but JFC think of the kids and the crap they'll experience in high school and middle school. growing up and fitting in is difficult enough, imagine what it'll be like for a kid with JJ's film legacy hanging over their head. save for college and psychotherapy, tito.
heynow- September 22, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Jenna actually looks beautiful in this picture.
And Tito's head is as big as ever.
Turdburglar- September 22, 2008 at 11:51 pm
those arent twins. its an internal gang bang.
killa- September 22, 2008 at 10:36 pm
dirtiest babies ever... what a greasy family
KG- September 22, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Pretty funny that the kids will be made fun of for having a porn star whore as a mom, but they will know how to kick their asses when they do talk shit.

Whats even funnier is that when people start with the "I fucked your mom.." bit at school, they will seriously contemplate if that is a true statement.... although if I found out my son was going to school with Jenna Jameson's kids I would have him say "My dad masturbated to your mom while getting fucked in the same hole you came out of" ... that would piss those little shits off for sure...

Kids names should be "Clam" and "Idia" ... say it together kids
walrus- September 22, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Wow, dare I say the Ben's are having sex with each other for having any reference to such a site?
cpanger- September 22, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Poor kids, i can already see them having some serious back problems for 2 reasons,
1) if their born with a monstrosity on their shoulders like Tito, then they're fucked.
2) if they follow in Mommy's footsteps, then they are fucked. (sweet pun!)
Reckless- September 22, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Those kids are gonna walk out of that vagina. then eat a right hook from chuck.
TPark- September 22, 2008 at 8:43 pm
This should be the new caption contest! "Name the kids of Tito & Whore"

I feel sorry for the kids when they grow up and people start asking in school what their parents did for a living.

Teacher: Okay you two. What do your parents do for a living?
Kids: Our dad "thought" he was a mma fighter but really just sold t-shirts with words on them and our mommy slept with yours and probably 85% of the grandparents of this classroom.
Teacher: Sh*T, your Tito's kids? You sure? Tito wasnt THAT brown. Does your dad like eating shit sandwhiches?
Kids: No! Thats not true! Our daddy doesnt like bread!
mayhem420- September 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Hahaha....

MellonHead and CavernCrotch are having twins? Oh God.... isnt this like the first sign of the apocalypse?
Old, Bald and Irish- September 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm
@ Shagen

Very bored, dude.
Shagen- September 22, 2008 at 7:52 pm
What are the odds of him naming one of his kids Dana?

Old, Bald, and Irish, how bored to you have to be at work to go to Perezhilton.com/
Clay Guida's Overweight Brother- September 22, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Those are Clays kids not titos
CrapFactory- September 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Is anyone even sure that the kids are Titos? What if she had 4 gallons of spunk saved up inside her from the last several movies she's made. Maybe Tito just knocked it loose? I'll laugh my ass off if the come out black or looking like Ron Jeremy.

As for names, I'm hoping for Cum Dumpster and Gutter Slut.
Old, Bald and Irish- September 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm
@ "shitwhistle"

"So, “Old, Bald & Irish” reads PerezHilton.com? teh ghey"


Whoa!...Wait!...I didn't find it there! It was on...uh...TMZ? Yeah! That's it...

...crap

...shoulda thought this out before I sent that email...
the palin kids- September 22, 2008 at 7:20 pm
we can see russia from our house
CagePotatoMMA