When all is said and done, UFC 159 will be remembered for three things: mangled appendages, Jon Jones’ easiest challenge ever, and Jerry Rips, a Youtube user/possible demigod who seemingly hacked into the event’s audio feed with no ulterior motive other than displaying his immense power and creeping everyone the fuck out. Well Taters, if you thought Jerry’s trolling of UFC 159 was an isolated incident, START THINKING THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.
Somehow, Jerry managed to dig up the audio/video feed from the aftermath of Miguel Torres‘ KO loss to Michael McDonald at UFC 145 and threw it up on his Youtube page last night. And once again, we have been left with more questions than answers: How long has Jerry been hacking into UFC audio feeds? Does he plan on releasing audio of that time Tim Sylvia shit his pants? Do you think Timmeh’s corner noticed, like, immediately? Did Miguel ever go on that vacation Firas Zahabi promised him? Why did Torres think he was fighting Mark Hominick at featherweight? Do all white people look the same to semi-conscious Miguel Torres?
Based on the evidence, Jerry Rips can only be one of the following:
- A disgruntled UFC employee planning to extort Dana White by threatening to post a series of incriminating recordings.
- A rabid anti-UFC organization — The Culinary Union, perhaps — looking to discredit the promotion, again, with a series of incriminating recordings. They probably wouldn’t have to search all that hard.
- JoshTheGod, who it will turn out was purposefully arrested in that credit card sting so he could continue to enact his revenge on Dana White, nay, the UFC, nay, THE LEGAL SYSTEM OF THE UNITED STATES from prison, all the while using the secretive underground tunnels he dug to and from said prison to carry out his intricately planned scare tactics and eventual executions. “I’m going to bring your whole fucking diseased, corrupt temple down on your head,” he’ll tell Dana, “It’s gonna be biblical.”
Check it out before it gets taken down, Nation.