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Joe Warren Deemed “Medically Unfit” for Bellator 98 Tomorrow, So Let’s Speculate Why

(Joe Warren: Former Bellator champion, Fight Master Coach, Unconscious Nazi.)

I know, I know, we already agreed to stop caring about Bellator, but hear us out for a second. For reasons that have not yet been divulged, Joe Warren has been deemed medically unfit to compete at tomorrow’s Bellator 98 event. Said Bjorn Rebney:

I’ve been fortunate to work with one of the best commissioners in the sport in Mike Mazzulli, and after carefully reviewing Joe’s medical documents, everyone agreed to err on the side of caution with the goal of ensuring our fighters safety.

It was determined Joe would be unable to compete this Saturday at Mohegan Sun. Joe’s been with us  since the beginning and as is the case with every fighter here, it’s incumbent on me to ensure Joe is 100% healthy and medically cleared to fight before he steps into the Bellator cage.

While this is an interesting development in and of itself, it only becomes more intriguing when you consider that Warren was deemed unfit by the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation. As Old Dad said, “It’s not a good sign if an Indian casino won’t clear you to fight,” so let’s use this time to speculate as to why Warren wasn’t cleared to fight, shall we?

Conspiracy Theory #1: Obviously, this is just a transparent ploy by Bellator to move one of their more popular fighters (and the only Fight Master coach currently competing in MMA) to their pay-per-view card in November. Obviously. The same goes for Joe “Diesel” Riggs, who was forced to pull out of his Fight Master Finals bout with Mike Bronzoulis (also scheduled for Bellator 98) due to an “eye injury.” That photo he posted to prove he wasn’t faking? Obvious shop job.

Conspiracy Theory #2: Joe Warren currently has the testosterone of 30 men (or 1 DREAM-era Alistair Overeem) flowing through his veins.

Conspiracy Theory #3: Joe Warren now suffers from chronic vertigo on account of the beating he suffered at the hands of Pat Curran last March.

If you think Warren’s removal from the card could be the result of something other than the options we’ve laid before you (Hint: It isn’t), let us know in the comments section.

-J. Jones

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Thumblaster- September 7, 2013 at 3:52 am
Joe warren is actually the midget joker and already has a fight with midget batman that night