infomercial fail gifs
21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Jonathan Goulet Had to Choke a B*tch Out

 
(It looks like Tito isn’t the only UFC fighter who keeps his pimp hand strong.)

I don’t know if it was due to boredom from hearing the the same old answers and cliche quotes regurgitated back to me by fighters, but a while back I began asking interview subjects strange arbitrary questions and have been paid back in kind with strange arbitrary answers.

Some notable anecdotes I’ve been told:

– No matter if he’s at home, on a bus, on a plane or on a train, Pat Barry can only fall asleep while wearing a pillow case tied around his head.

– Eric "Red" Schafer has a stalker in his hometown in Wisconsin. He is male and likes to break into his car and sniff his shoes and gym clothes.

Jason MacDonald was originally slated to be on TUF 3, but was beaten by Kalib Starnes at an event in British Columbia just before the final selections were made for the show and was replaced by "The Running Man" that season.


When interviewing UFC welterweight Jonathan Goulet for a recent feature story for UFC.com, as usual, I decided to throw a wild card question into the mix.

"Outside of fighting, what is the last thing that happened to you that absolutely terrified you?" I asked Goulet, hoping he would oblige my random question with an equally random answer. He did.

"It’s funny you ask," he told me with a laugh. A few weeks ago I was in the dog park. I was following my dog closely because there was a pit bull in the park and I didn’t want my dog to fight with that killer. He’s a Scottish terrier, but he is like Napoleon. He always fights with boxers and bigger dogs and I’ve been bitten a few times because of him. Everything was going well until a family with little children and a poodle came into the park," Goulet explained. "The children were maybe three or four years old and were running around screaming and having fun and the pit bull started to get really anxious. I was worried about the children being around this dog, but since they weren’t mine, it wasn’t my place to say anything about it."

"The next thing I know, there is screaming and yelling and panic and the dog has gotten vicious and is growling. I didn’t even think; I looked over and I saw that the dog had something in its mouth and I thought for sure it was a kid, so I jumped on top of it and got him in a rear naked choke. I stood him up on his back legs and I put all of my weight on him. Eventually, I realized that he only had the poodle in his mouth,” Goulet said. “He wouldn’t let go of it and I didn’t let go of him either. I didn’t want him to get mad at me and bite me on my face or to hurt someone, so I finished the choke and he passed out. When he did, he let go of the poodle, which was hurt and bleeding really bad. Even after he passed out, and I let off the choke, I didn’t let him go until the owner grabbed his chain.”
It’s likely safe to say that if Goulet can choke out an animal with a neck as strong and muscled as the pit bull pictured above, repeating the same feat on Marcus Davis, whom he faces in his next fight at UFC 113 on May 8, should be a piece of cake for the French-Canadian.


Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
jamesmedley- September 30, 2011 at 3:05 am
Former UFC welterweight Jonathan Goulet is considering retirement after having suffered his twelfth professional loss earlier this weekend in Montreal.

"The Street Warrior" lost via second round knockout to Chris Clements (7-4) at Ringisde MMA 9, and following a loss he required to Twitter to announce he was leaning towards ending his nine-year MMA career.


Medical assistants
ghostboner- May 1, 2010 at 4:10 am
Bob Reilly, were you formerly Big Jumpin Dad?
fatbellyfrank- May 1, 2010 at 1:37 am
or if you prefer oven roasted chicken, a bit of thigh, a bit of breast and a whole lot of stuffing.
Whattayamean, no prizes for second?
Mr_Misanthropy- May 1, 2010 at 12:42 am
How are women like KFC?

-After the breasts and the thighs all you've got left is a greasy box to put your bone in.


Ba-dump tsssss
Mr_Misanthropy- May 1, 2010 at 12:37 am
I just likes to bust Canannanada's balls a little because I have been living here for four years and I didn't realize how many of ya'll hate our guts until I moved here. It could be a geographic thing, and I know its not EVERYbody, but if I had a dime for every time I heard "fat loud stupid American this/ that" I probably could afford to move back south (cheaper gas, food, and beer, nothing personal). I think most Americans are unaware of these sentiments (and, of course, many other things- we're pretty oblivious). I don't really give a shit though, I try to practice equal opportunity hate by not discriminating based on race, creed, color, sex, or stupid-looking haircut. FTW until you ride with me...

... and now back to the jokes.
Ratel- April 30, 2010 at 12:00 pm
That's a whole lotta anti-Canada vibes going on. I'll say that choking out a pit bull is pretty cool. Maybe it'll help people overlook the runny eye thingy Goulet has going for him.

I'm Canadian as well, but I find Goulet a little embarassing. It seems like he's the little doggy jumping around the big doggy (GSP) in the old Kibbles n Bits commercial. I know, they're both WWs, but Goulet doesn't deserve to carry GSP's jockstrap.

And since this is CP, why the hell are we going back and forth about winter olympics? Seriously. What we ought to be talking about is the big event going down in Montreal soon, who's gonna be judging the Machida/Rua fight, who the fuck does Cecil Peoples think he is, and why can't we get h.o.n.k.e.y.k.o.n.g stomping a drunken Bostonian onto the preliminary fight card?

Priorities, people.
Bob Reilly- April 30, 2010 at 11:41 am
It seems we have this little "Canada sucks" debate every time there is an article about a Canadian. I would just like to say, I'm from Canada and I've been to the states many times. I woulden't move down there for anything. I'll like my free health care and friendly people. There are a lot of ignorant Americans out there.
Canadian Chronic- April 30, 2010 at 10:26 am
@Mike Russell

forgot to mention we set a winter olympic record with...14 GOLD MEDALS.



macreadysshack- April 30, 2010 at 8:55 am
This almost makes up for Goulets cancer hair do. Almost.
...ChOkE...- April 30, 2010 at 7:54 am
Ahh yes, the lesser known "mata cao" choke...
No lions in Canada, so we learn that one instead.
PortlandMMA- April 30, 2010 at 7:40 am
Pits are good dogs, just like any dog is with proper training. The only thing is there is a ton of them and they often free, and because crackheads don't make the best owners the dogs end up like that.
fatbellyfrank- April 30, 2010 at 7:24 am
@ byrnedout, nope, cant say I do
rlh61- April 30, 2010 at 7:16 am
@ viva hate...that was f'n hilarious, brah. I was going to mention the short front legs make them an easy target for the RNC.
El Famous Burrito- April 30, 2010 at 6:29 am
Good for him for saving the kids, but owners of poodles need to learn the hard way sometimes.
Mike Russell- April 30, 2010 at 6:09 am
 @ByrneDoutThe kid didn't choke the pit bull out. He basically held it until it calmed down.hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2LNkOBfrVA
ByrneDout- April 30, 2010 at 5:37 am
Does nobody remember an eight year old doing that like a year ago? Seriously. An 8 year old who took a couple MMA classes choked out a pit bull when it attacked his friend.
If a UFC fighter couldn't do the same thing then he should be cut.
Bravo we now know Canadians have the same strength as an American 8 year old.
But the real loser in this situation is that haircut.
Mr_Misanthropy- April 30, 2010 at 4:21 am
Sorry, that last one sounded a little bitter.

*edit* Naw, its ok, I fixeded it.
Mr_Misanthropy- April 30, 2010 at 4:19 am
I've been stuck here in Eastern Siberia for a while, and I've been all over it. I have one question (well, one of many). You only have one major trans-continental highway, why can't you even maintain it? It's full of potholes, it usually doesn't have multiple lanes, and there isn't even a shoulder in most of Manitoba.
fatbellyfrank- April 30, 2010 at 1:07 am
@ghost+1, I agree Poodles are a waste of space, not as bad as cats, but about as close as a Dog can get to bein a cat
ghostboner- April 30, 2010 at 12:48 am
I would have been content to watch that poodle get torn to pieces. Poodles suck. I've always liked Goulet though.
fatbellyfrank- April 30, 2010 at 12:44 am
Oh and Winter olympics, I'm an Aussie and unless it involves a ball and running into people we're not real interested in it. But if you can watch the Winter Olympics and say your not impressed with those athletes your kidding yourself.
Except maybe the Ice dancing, and the curling, (although theres a sport I could see myself participating in) and the Luge, as impressive as it looks is basically just sliding down an ice path on a cookie tray.
But we love the Hockey, the whole world tunes in for the Hockey, and for those who follow Winter Olympics passionately, Steve Bradbury's medal performance for Australia (2002 I think) is the most impressive I've ever seen :)
fatbellyfrank- April 30, 2010 at 12:37 am
@ Jesus Frijoles, its been a couple of weeks' and this is CP, so you go for it my friend!
Pleb- April 30, 2010 at 12:21 am
Why can't we all just get along!
Dr.- April 30, 2010 at 12:07 am
And if you're talking about Summer Olympics, your gold medal ass got handed to you by China.
Dr.- April 30, 2010 at 12:00 am
"All these Canadians seem to think the winter olympics somehow matter. A delightful sideshow. The olympics are about sporting prowess. The winter is about playing in the snow."

-- Sounds like loser talk. Wouldn't even be a comment on here if the roles were reversed.
CagePotatoMMA