(DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO THE GIRL, JUST DON’T HURT ME.)
Meet Nandor “The Hun” Guelmino, a.k.a the man Josh Barnett will face in his final Strikeforce appearance at the hilariously mistitled Strikeforce: Champions event on January 12th. As you might have noticed, he is a terrifying individual who looks something like the freakish offspring of The Tall Man, The Silver Surfer, Imhotep, and an eighty pound bag of cement. With a record of 11-3, Guelmino has collected 7 straight victories not by consuming the souls of his opponents before pulling their spinal chords through their assholes as one would imagine, but rather by two earthly TKO’s, three submissions, and a pair of decisions. At 6’3” and just over 230 pounds, perhaps the most freakish thing about Guelmino is that he will actually be giving away some size to Barnett, who usually weighs in at just under 250lbs.
Having collected 6 victories by way of submission, it will be interesting to see how Guelmino will deals with the aggressive grappling attack of a guy like Barnett. My prediction: By lifting Barnett above his head, putting him in The Torture Rack, and spiking him through the canvas like a football. He will then grab the microphone from Gus Johnson and proclaim himself to be Ashta, Devourer of Worlds before unleashing a hellish sand monster in his likeness that descends upon the audience and wipes them out in one final flurry. Despite the massive loss of life, the moment will ultimately be declared a bit of redemption for Strikeforce.
Although Guelmino may not hold any victories over any notable opponents — and in fact, was defeated by his only notable opponent in Semmy Schilt back in 2008 — he hasn’t exactly been fighting a bunch of cans. I mean sure, there’s a few in there, but Guelmino is fresh off a victory over the 19-5 Emil Zahariev and fought to a draw with a dude named Atilla “The Machine” Ucar. Huh. Seems like a real missed opportunity there.
Anyway, check out a few of Guelmino’s more recent fights below and let us know how good of a chance you think he stands on a scale of The Diaz brothers vs. MMA judges to Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar, with Guelmino being Silva in the latter.
Guelmino vs. Sasa Lazic
Guelmino vs. Ivo Cuk
Guelmino vs. Ajlin Ahmic