Steroids in MMA
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Josh Barnett MacGyvers a Dude’s Face, No Big Deal

If you are a child of the 80s, Richard Dean Anderson will probably forever hold a special place in your heart as one of the coolest heroes ever. Why there isn’t still a show running in which a non-violent genius improvs helpful gadgets and kludges with a few innocuous articles from his lady friend’s purse is beyond us.  Luckily, the spirit of MacGyver lives on in us all, and that includes Mr Josh Barnett.

The Babyface Assassin was having interview funtime with Karyn Bryant of MMA HEAT when a mishap with free weights put a damper on some dude’s day, leaving him with a dinged schnoz.  Weightlifter guy is doing the whole routine:  yeah, this is like the other times I broke it doing tough guy stuff, nah, it don’t hurt that bad, yeah, I’m all good, nah, I ain’t got time to bleed.

Barnett springs into action!  Using a couple of ballpoint pens, our buddy Josh manages to open and straighten Mr Bad Snatch’s nasal passages.  It’s no field tracheotomy, but still probably a handy bit of knowledge to have, especially if people punch you in the face a lot.

Weightlifter dude walks away to cry off-camera, Josh does his PSA about bad snatch, end scene.  While you probably didn’t learn anything, we at least distracted you for three minutes, so you’re welcome.  If you’ve ever performed some oddball first aid using the field medic training you received in ‘Nam, tell us about it in the comments.  (No need to share your own stories of snatch encounters, thanks.)


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tramadoc- June 16, 2011 at 7:57 am
I'm a former combat medic and I always kept tampons and maxi pads in my jumpbag for open wounds. Sounds weird, but they are designed to soak up blood. Cyanoacrylate (super glue) works really well for a quick emergency suture until you can get to a trauma center for proper sutures. We also kept condoms in our jumpbags for use on the end of angiocatheters after doing chest decompressions for tension pneumothoraxes. The work as a one-way valve by letting the air escape after the pleural space is penetrated by the needle during the procedure, but not allowing aire to re-enter during inhalation.
rockhuddy- June 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Similarly, I saw Barnett re-align a guy's spine who he'd just beaten in a grappling match. The guy was obviously hurting, and Barnett walked up and double underhooked him then picked him up and starting popping his spine from the bottom up. Pretty cool.
ReX13- June 15, 2011 at 6:47 pm
dranokills >> that just goes to show that you're a good, stand up kinda guy.
dranokills- June 15, 2011 at 3:14 pm
that was pretty cool. Barnett did this guy a big favor, and for no reason. I know that I would at least have said I appreciate it.
langer_dan- June 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Josh is the funniest man in MMA, I know he takes a lot of steroids but they obviously haven't affected his sense of humour. But i dont feel the love in the room from Cage Potato et al. I cant understand why? Most top heavy weight fighters are prob on 'roids anyway.
That my 5 cents ;-)
danomite- June 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I'll bet you anything that the thought of palm thrusting that pen into the guy's brain flashed through Barnett's head at least once while he was doing that. Or is that just me?
Bob Villa- June 15, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Stop that nose from bleedin on me weights.
They're stolen weights Tyrone.
Bob Villa- June 15, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Imagine what he could do with an entire stationary set.
macreadysshack- June 15, 2011 at 11:43 am
@omuntu and Daddy_jeffy I say glove up if you got em but if you don't, help the dude out only if you don't have any open sores on your hands and then wash up really well. Just don't let the guy snot rocket into your eyes and you'll be fine.
omunto- June 15, 2011 at 11:12 am
me* not you.

I miss the edit button. I'm way to horrible at typing to get away without it.
omunto- June 15, 2011 at 11:10 am

I'm sure they know each other, and if you are affraid of a little bit of a bloody nose getting on your fingers then you probably shouldnt be a fighter. Not a week goes by where I dont end up with a training parners blood on you.
Fried Taco- June 15, 2011 at 11:04 am
Poor dude, now he won't be able to motorboat for awhile.
intercept440- June 15, 2011 at 9:55 am
key points here fellas... dont drop wieghts on your face. that piece of info might be a bit more handy than having a dude shove pens up your nose to straiten it out
ccman- June 15, 2011 at 9:46 am
I always saw barnett as more of a Mcgruber. meaning i assume he puts vegatables up his ass..
whiterice- June 15, 2011 at 9:38 am
first sentence: true to the max
DangadaDang- June 15, 2011 at 9:30 am
When are we going to get some Karyn Bryant playboy pics, or at least a maxim shoot. Then again, she could have a bottom half like a swollen moose carcass and i would never know thanks to how all these videos are shot.
Daddy_jeffy- June 15, 2011 at 9:28 am
Later, Josh Barnett had his license suspended for testing positive for Hep C. Put on some gloves, jackass.
825IVER- June 15, 2011 at 9:26 am
texas licenses you to practice medicine too?
MKO- June 15, 2011 at 9:25 am
Back in high school, I sewed up a friends badly injured wrist. Him and another friend were running from the cops, jumped a fence, and got sliced open by a sharpened wrought-iron fence top. For some reason, likely being very high, they came to my house and refused to go to the hospital. Having a good set of surgical supplies on hand (again, no reason to have this; dad was a do-it-yourself vet), I sewed his wrist up with a nice barbed suture (doesn't require knots, that much skill). Bleeding badly, constricted the blood with a nice cocaine paste (they had on hand) and washing out with alcohol, I successfully pieced the skin back together. It looks like a mess, but it worked and somehow never got infected. Now, some 8 years later, he still has about a 5 inch scar from the bottom inside of his thumb running down his wrist, about a third of an inch thick and looking like a raised, flesh colored worm.
My god we were stupid.
WK- June 15, 2011 at 9:24 am
I thought he was gonna snap it into place with the guy screaming in pain and crying.
God bless Josh Barnett ;_;
knucklesamitch- June 15, 2011 at 9:23 am
I can't believe he didn't motorboat her. Barnett is so cunty.
SplitBreast- June 15, 2011 at 9:19 am
I'd probably scream like a bitch
LOKI- June 15, 2011 at 8:59 am
Its beneath you Tyrone, when you lift things up, they come from beneath you!
k-onda- June 15, 2011 at 8:53 am
The best cure for a bad snatch is a broken nose