(His body is in the ring, but his mind is still back in the locker room, trying to come up with an eight-letter word for ‘Movie opening.’)

Contrary to what you’ve seen on the internet lately, Josh Barnett is not content to spend the rest of his life trading mean faces with Bob Sapp and roughing up hapless foes in regional grappling tournaments. He really does want to fight for real again, or so he declared on his Twitter recently, but the problem is that he can’t find an opponent. At least, he can’t find a heavyweight opponent willing to meet him in Japan, which is sort of his only option at the moment since he can’t seem to get right with the athletic commissions back home in the U.S.

Barnett told fans he’d heard a “rumor” that both Tim Sylvia and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva (both of whom have tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs at some point in their past) had each turned down fights with Babyface in Dream. How much fact there is in that rumor, we can’t really say, but it wouldn’t exactly surprise us to hear that “The Maine-iac” is more or less done fighting quality opponents and has decided instead to crush whatever cans Monte Cox lines up for him.

So if Barnett won’t be facing off against either of those fellow juicers (sorry “Bigfoot,” we meant alleged juicers), does that mean he’ll be watching Dream.13 on TV? Not necessarily. As Fighters Only reports, British heavyweight Neil Grove is said to be waiting to find out whether he might face Alistair Overeem or Barnett on the March 22 card.

Either seems plausible, just as it seems very likely that we won’t find out anything for sure until the last minute. But we can’t help but wonder, if both Overeem and Barnett are up for fighting in Japan later this month, and if Dream has access to them both, why not throw them in there against one another?

Nah, that’d never work. I mean, who wants to see a fight that’s actually competitive?