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Josh Koscheck Goes Full Retard While Calling the Retarded MMA Media Retards

(If either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama are looking for a new campaign slogan, may we offer the following.) 

You know, we may have our fun at Josh Koscheck’s expense more than others here at CP, but it’s only because we know that he can take it as well as he can dish it out. The TUF 1 veteran has made his name off the heel/asshole moniker for a good seven years now, and in fact brought the term to new heights during his gig as coach on the twelfth season of The Ultimate Fighter, incorporating hypothetical ass-play and male nurse jokes into his repertoire of empty threats. He’s been called a dick by everyone from Phil Baroni to Brian Ebersole, and though he won’t admit it, we know Ariel Helwani would probably say the same.

And at the forefront of Koscheck’s embittered rants these days seems to be none other than the esteemed  members of the MMA media, who apparently have given Koscheck slim to zero chance against Johny Hendricks in their upcoming clash at UFC on FOX 3 this Saturday. Now, we’re not sure which media outlets are writing Koscheck off, because, even though we dislike the guy, we still think he has a really good chance of pulling out a victory. The current betting odds seem to share this notion, but according to Koscheck, we’ve all claimed that he is simply too old to deal with Hendricks, and is basically a lamb being led to the killing field. When Koscheck spoke with these MMA media “retards” yesterday ahead of his clash with Hendricks, he let his feeling be known. That’s right, feeling:

I have a lot of ulterior motives that motivate me. There are a lot of people like you out here who write all these stories and shit like, ‘Oh, he’s old, he’s this, youth versus age….’ Bullshit. You guys are all fucking retards who think that. Retards. I’ve been hearing a lot of it — a lot of tweets and shit. I laugh at you idiots. Man, you guys are crazy…Who’s that guy, Bernard Hopkins? Didn’t he just kick someone’s ass the other day? And how old is he? Oh…he lost? Well, I mean, he was the champion, right? I mean how old is that guy, 47? C’mon, he’s still fighting. Let’s be real. Look at Randy Couture. Is that a rare case? Dan Henderson. Look at Dan Henderson‘s 40, right? Is that a rare case? Chuck Liddell was what, 37-38? Real rare. You guys are retards for writing that shit.

We don’t know how to break this to you, Josh, so we’ll just come right out with it. YES, guys like Randy Couture and Dan Henderson are rare cases. Because for every Randy Couture, there are at least three Ken Shamrocks who are dangerously close to getting beaten to death in the ring. But for Christ’s sake, you’re 34, Josh. Your age should be the least of your, or our, concerns. But maybe we’re just being naive.

Again, we can’t seem to find these supposed articles that have earned the ire of Koscheck, but we’ve come to the realization that “Kos” is likely just making things up at this point to fuel the ever-present hate within him. Then again, if you believe that Twitter is where the real MMA reporting gets done, you are either FrontRowBrian or, well…a retard.

Koscheck was relentless in his assessment of the media’s supposed assessment of him, continuing:

You guys are crazy, and I can’t wait to prove all you guys wrong. Every one of you. Keep counting me out. Keep doing it for all the years, because I’ll be fighting for like four or five more years, just keep counting me out. Every time you write a story about me, just say I’m too old, too washed up, too many fights, too many miles. I like that, because I got a lot to prove. I got a lot of people to prove wrong on Saturday night, and I’m looking at every one of you. You guys are probably all writing that shit about me. Keep writing it.

Once again, we’ve gotta call into question where Koscheck is getting his news from. He’s been the favorite going into every fight in recent memory against anyone not named Georges St. Pierre, yet acts like he’s the Rodney Dangerfield of the welterweight division. The guy is listed at a mere +100, but if you were to ask him, you’d think he stood as good a chance against Hendricks as one of Chris Cyborg’s average opponents. But we digress.

So what do you think? Will Koscheck’s new training camp reignite his apparently washed up MMA career? Rest assured, it hasn’t changed his outlook on life.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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Jon Fitch and Exciting in the same sentence- May 3, 2012 at 10:25 am
I like how Kos claimed his punches would be coming "straighter", haha, whatever it is he said. Look, the dude is a tough SOB, top 170lb'er, and a nasty fighter. But I think his last fight with Mike P. confirmed he's gone as far as he's going to go in terms of skill.
Gobbleston- May 3, 2012 at 10:05 am
I bet Ariel Helwani secrectly instigates and talks shit off camera.
tp24890- May 3, 2012 at 9:58 am
Somewhere deep in the outskirts of Canada, laying comfortable on a bed stuffed withe virgin feathers of Canadian geese, GSP is laughing.....then he re tears his knee and all hope to a title fight is lost. Slowly engulfed in the dark abyss that's is the welterweight rankings. As the lower end of the echelon battle for supremacy of a false hope. They give their bodies up as tribute to a crowd of zealots who want the spillage of blood.
nomomrnicekyle- May 3, 2012 at 9:54 am
To be fair, Luke Thomas did write an article on MMAFighting that basically concluded older fighters lose the majority of the time, and he was using the Koscheck fight as the basis for asking the question. I do think it's kind of silly to consider that issue with a 34 year old versus a 28 year old, but a couple of other sites picked it up and posted quotes from the story.
Kintamachikara- May 3, 2012 at 9:18 am
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Fried Taco- May 3, 2012 at 9:15 am
Careful, CP, or Fraggle may fly his airplane over your house and shit on you!