This Just In: MMA is Finished, XARM to Take Over
(Doesn't Art Davie just ooze sincerity?)
A while back we all had a good laugh over the idiotic spectacle that is XARM, the brainchild of UFC co-creator Art Davie that meshes arm-wrestling with MMA punching people and is somehow even dumber than it sounds. We were content to let it go, then we saw this, a blog post by Davie declaring that MMA has “lost its way” and the UFC has “de-evolved.”
Normally we’d ignore this kind of cry for attention, but it’s just too good and we love mocking things waaaay too much. For example:
I was the guy who started this sport [ed. note: bullshit] and let me say, for the record, that I love MMA. But, I'm not the only one or the first one to say that the MMA seems to have has lost its way. MMA, and specifically the UFC, have stopped delivering the kind of extreme fighting sport that fans have come to expect. Some are saying now that the UFC has de-evolved. First it was a spectacle, then it gained acceptance as a sport and now it's back to being a spectacle.
Recently John Perretti called it, "a fossil of what is was." And journalist Eddie Goldman, the 'Conscience of MMA', says that real technique in MMA is gone. He says, "today you push 'em up against the cage, tumble to the mat, throw punches and elbows on the ground....that's called technique." [ed. note: Eddie’s right, Anderson Silva sux!!!!]
[...]
When I created the UFC, the boxing community and martial artists, from karate to taekwondo, said it was too brutal and a freak show….a "unicorn sport". Now some in MMA are taking shots at my new sport, XARM - saying it's too extreme [ed. note: I think the word you’re looking for is ‘tarded]. Oh, how history repeats itself! What XARM does is take the best three minutes of any MMA fight – removes the ground game…and gives fans what they want – raw, uncensored, nonstop action!
Get off the ground and step up to the table. That's my thought….
Peace,
Art
Cleary, these are the self-serving, self-important words of a delusional and desperate man. The fact that he puts them out there to try and leverage the UFC’s popularity to benefit his own hopelessly idiotic product is no big surprise. The fact that he might actually believe any of it is what’s really hilarious/depressing.
Art Davie is either a man who will say positively anything with the expectation that people are dumb enough to believe it, or else he is a first-class moron himself. Maybe it’s both. Either way, stupidity on such an epic scale deserves recognition, so here it is.
Now, let us never speak of this again.
DIGG THIS
Comments
mayhem420 Says:
I want Butterbean vs. Kimbo .... come on make that happen!
Armfarmer Says:
wtf...
Kimbo's A Bitch Says:
Wow. XARM? Seriously? Oh I got one Artie, its called crotch kick. Lets see who can be the first to tap from being kicked in the balls.
I mean lets be real. What hurts a man more than being kicked in the nuts? Lets just take out the bs punching and holding hands and just get to the nuts and bolts of xtreme fighting.
Stupid ass!
Kissenger Says:
Die Art Davie.
emo sux Says:
LOL
Sodak Says:
Zarm hahahahaha they should throw in indian leg wrestling, thumbwars, and rock paper scissors along with the full array of american gladiator challenges then the zarm champion could be master of all things extreme and sport. davies = douche quit calling zarm a sport.
Young, Hairy and German Says:
gay as hell
Perdew Says:
the delusion of Arte Davie doesn't really surprise me all that much. After all people believe in gOD.
silly.
Knowitall Says:
Dumbest shit I have ever seen. MMA>>>XARM, actually GAYSEX>XARM. And no im not gay at all. Just making clear how horribly stupid this is.
Kimbo's A Bitch Says:
Die Perdew. Enjoy rotten in Hell. That will last the next 4 years while that home boy is in office.
Darkside Says:
Are you guys sure this thing isn't just a joke? A sick, horrible joke? Because there is no way this thing can be for real.
dabix Says:
It's only a sport if you can make money by selling T-Shirts
Kimbo's A Bitch Says:
An XArm t-shirt would be funny. How bout that broadcast? The whole seen is HI-Larious.
Perdew's A Bitch Says:
LOL
Kimbo's A Bitch Says:
I love the clinch and the break up. HAHA!
Anonymous Says:
I think that one dude said it best.
Gay Sex >> XARM
Dex Says:
The best thing about Xarm contestants is that you only have to practice throwing your right.
Dex Says:
Make that the left, wow, this is really really stupid.
Ronnie Dobbs Says:
Art Davie: "If you like what you see here tonight, don't forget to tune in on February 14th for the premiere of the XBJ League! I think we can all agree blow jobs have gotten stale. I received three BJs back in college, so I think I'd know. She grabs your shaft, cups your balls, licks your head, lah dee dah. We aren't getting that bang for our buck that we've grown to expect from oral copulation and that's why we're bringing you the XBJ League. The XBJ League combines blow jobs with the one thing every man loves: the board game Mouse Trap!"
Goog Says:
Fedor would get killed in this.
rampage Says:
I cant wait to buy my first Affliction XARM $80 t-shirt!!!!!!
ok, on a real note, kicking another mans ass with a table between u? ghey. dumm and stoopid. where did they find these guys? the umemployement line?
Warcraft Says:
!ROFL! Started the Ufc then on to extreme thumb wrestling fucking genius !ROFL!
This has my Vote for the funniest blog/video of the new year.
Darwin Says:
lol... maybe they'll broadcast it on Fauxnews.
Anonymous Says:
It's obviously an attention-grabber post, and it has succeeded. We would have all forgotten about XARM otherwise.
Anonymous Says:
I feel I have just lost a good 30 points from my I.Q. having watched this..........
B Says:
You guys are pussies and you don't know anything.
This idea just needs some refining and it will take over the world.
It reminds me of something I saw in an anime a few years back.
"...places the knives in the ring, and tells Yusuke the rules. They each stand with their feet to the knives, and whoever steps out of bounds first dies. Meanwhile, they punch each other inside. So, it's truly a test of a endurance. Yusuke steps up to the challenge.
The announcer states that it's illegal to make up rules during the fight, but after the crowd cheers, the committee approves the death match. The men begin fighting, one taking turns punching the other."
Problem solved.
Lamb-goat Says:
No Care Ever.
Darrin Says:
Someone could be seriously injured in XARM competition. One of these days, thousands of people will be watching XARM live on PPV and be subjected to the trauma of watching a defenseless (can't block with other arm) man beat to death, or strangled into permanent brain damage.
We must stop this problem before it begins. I call for the criminalization of XARM, for these barbarians' own safety.
We must stop this human cockfighting from spreading! (I say human cockfighting because these are obviously human cocks.)
John Kimble Says:
Lyoto Machita and Kalib Starnes would be awful at this.
Darkside Says:
Haha! I would actually watch it if I got to see Starnes behind the table!
rex quan dow Says:
fuck all that what about carl worsham is this his idea of a comeback.i thought i killed this bum back at extreme fighting volume 3 forget about it.this sport could be like a fat women u wanna play but you dont want yr freinds to see it FORGET ABOUT IT.but theres nothing to it people just snap the wrist an walk away snap the wrist an walk away its that simple.
Aaron Says:
All the stupid shit mentioned in that article gave me a headache.. god I need a drink now.
CB Says:
"First it was a spectacle, then it gained acceptance as a sport and now it's back to being a spectacle."
But X-arm will start out as a spectacle and evolve into being cancelled after 1 show. At least it's on the reputable RIPE tv :)
jdavis Says:
What is really sad is that Art Davie can't seem to see how utterly moronic this is. What a sad man and a sad excuse for a sporting event.
Goog Says:
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< THIS JUST IN!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Tito Ortiz has cryptically announced that he is maybe no more than a week away from signing a contract with XARM that is so large it will not only revolutionize MMA, but change the concept of sports itself.
Suck it Dana, Tom, Donald, and Gary.
Anthony Says:
SAVAGE TIME!!! hahahahaha! What a fucking joke
hlebtastic Says:
this is the coolest thing i have ever seen. where can i train for xarm. are there are any blackbelts i can learn from.
Just a fight fan Says:
I give you the SLAM BALL of 20009!!!
CB Dolloway Says:
How do I integrate my subliminal tap manuver into this sport?
gesus Says:
when they first show the 2 announcers...i could have sworn that was a cardboard cutout of art..then they swapped when it shows him talking..
Mathew Says:
Kimbo would totally kick.... wait wait.. punching is involved right? Nevermind. Chuck Liddell would totally, no wait wait. WAR MACHINE, no no wait fuck this sport sucks ass.
HAL Says:
ART DAVIE, YOU MY MAN ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS. (XARM) COME ON YOU STUPID BASTARD IT SOUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE A REAL LIFE GARBAGE VIDEO GAME. I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO OUT AND GET YOURSELF A 9 TO 5 JOB IN A WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE. YOU SIMPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING OUT IN THE BIG WORLD. YOUR AN IDIOT SO GIVE UP, SHUT UP, AND LEAVE MMA THE HELL ALONE BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT. YOU MAY NEVER READ THIS BUT JUST IN CASE YOU DO I WANTED TO BE STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH YOU ON THE XARM THING. IT'S A COMPLETE FAILURE. GOOD TRY THOUGH DUMB ASS.
Omer Says:
Bullshittest thing I have ever seen.. one guy if right handed and the other one is left.. of course if you tie up first one's right hand he is gonna lose.. I thought they would have switched the hands in the break.. but obviously.. they are either dumb or think people watching are dumb..
Steve Says:
ROFL
Jeremy Says:
Ultimate Roshamboe(nutkick) Federation
We will one-up Art Davies at his own game and invent the ultimate in bodily harm short of mutilation. It will involve the obvious groin kicks with bonuses for knockoff of the night(kickin so hard they actually drop a nut) and submission of the night(via liplock). The ref should be Steve Mazzagati. The logo can be a foot resting between a big ballsack with some sort of tribal or affliction style skull work on the ball itself LOL.
Anonymous Says:
its pretty funny and entertaining ahha, its not mma but i think it grabs people's attention, the avg joe would like it b/c they just got 2 guys beating on each other while tied together haha
RickDickulous Says:
i'll watch when he creates X-Gina , brutal non-stop clambumping action!!
NetTek8 Says:
La-hooo-sa-hers!
matty Says:
i think it'd be better if both competitors were blindfolded.
ihatejardine!!alot Says:
BJJ is favorite part of MMA! Art Davie you and keith jardine should just go die!!!!
Im so mad that art davie thought this was cool!
Everyone who saw that Xarm bullshit is dumber now!
go fuck yourself Art Davie and keith jardine!