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Kalib Starnes is Still an MMA Fighter? Huh…

Kalib Starnes Nate Quarry running
(It’s funny the way a moment can haunt a man. Really funny.)

After the last time we saw Kalib Starnes in the Octagon, running in circles even as Nate Quarry mocked him, I naturally assumed that was it for him. The UFC dropped him almost immediately, as expected, and in my imagination he changed his name and went off to work at a public library somewhere, living in a studio apartment above a pawn shop and eating his microwaved dinners alone each night. Occasionally someone might come into the library and recognize him, asking, ‘Hey, aren’t you that long distance runner guy from the UFC?’ Then Starnes would shake his head and tell them they have him confused for someone else before disappearing to cry in the reference section.

Turns out I’m totally wrong. Starnes is still a pro fighter and he’s even got a fight coming up, against the very respectable “Kolohe” Hose in Hawaii’s Destiny organization. It seems like no matter what he does, though, Starnes will always be remembered for the performance that got him dismissed from the UFC. As he told Sherdog recently, there are still plenty of people who haven’t forgotten:

“People like to be on the side that’s winning, said Starnes. “They’re supportive when you’re winning and critical when you’re losing. I still get some sweet hate mails pretty regularly. There are some gyms with guys who begged me to come in there and train and do seminars before that fight and who wouldn’t return my calls or talk to me afterwards.”

That’s just plain sad. Starnes is right about one thing: people do like to be on the side that’s winning. But even he has got to know that the backlash wasn’t about winning or losing, it was about how he chose to lose and the justification he offered for it afterwards. In case you forgot, he broke his foot early on against Quarry and then opted to avoid fighting for the rest of the bout, explaining that he wasn’t getting paid enough to risk a knockout or more severe injury.

And that’s a perfectly logical argument. For anyone other than a pro fighter, who has agreed in writing to assume exactly that risk for exactly that compensation.

But hearing Starnes talk about being an MMA pariah now makes it hard not to feel at least a little sympathy for him. One bad night and now he’s branded for life. It makes you wonder how it will affect the rest of his career, whatever there will be of it. If he doesn’t come charging out like a bull on crystal meth against Hose, he can probably expect a shower of boos. It’s almost enough to make that fight seem genuinely worth watching.

Cagepotato Comments

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Eugene- October 14, 2008 at 11:55 pm
@ Jugger

Canadian dollar was worth more than the US just a couple months ago, now they are pretty close to even.
JP- October 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I hope nobody believes this guy had a broken foot. After reading his comments it is obvious that this guy is living in denial. "Critical when you're losing"? No Kalib, people are critical when they pay good money to watch a pussy participate in a man's sport.
Derly- October 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Lol that story made me laugh this morning good job.
But really that nun just sounds like a crazy bitch. She didn't question what the beating was for? Nor did she actually understand that his face got fucked up. Just cause she was ugly her whole life doesn't mean someone else needs to wear a mask to get laid too.
Well I'll just assume that story was made up. But thank you for the laugh.
dandeman- October 14, 2008 at 1:48 am
Old: thatnks from the vid; i love being reminded of quarry's version of the retarded elephant.
Frank- October 14, 2008 at 1:06 am
When I was in Catholic School, two guys in my sixth grade class got into a fist fight. Randy was beating the shit out of Dean and our teacher, Sister Bonita (an Irish nun), came running over and pulled Randy off Dean, whose face was a bloody mess. Dean was crying when Sister Bonita yanked him off the ground (she was five feet tall and had a Burt Reynolds mustache). While Dean was blubbering like a baby, she stood him up and slapped him across the face--HARD. "You're a jellyfish, Dean! A spineless jellyfish! (imagine the heavy Irish accent) You take your beatin' like a MAN!" I'll never forget that, and I have never run from a fight in my life. Too bad Starnes never met Sister Bonita. She would have snapped that "broken" foot off and stuffed it up his wussy ass.
Jugger- October 13, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I wonder if Destiny is paying him enough to get knocked out. And furthermore, what would that amount be, in Canadian dollars (since the American dollar is kinda weak right now).

I bet Hose implemented a Cross Country running regiment into his training when he heard who he was fighting.
Old, Bald and Irish- October 13, 2008 at 7:52 pm
@ Derly:

That gif is right here:

Thanks for mentioning that. I forgot how hilarious that was!
Because you're a lying pussy- October 13, 2008 at 7:34 pm
The answer to LiuLang's question is above.
Derly- October 13, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Where's the .gif of Quarry doing that weird hammer fist with an arm over his face? That shit made me laugh so hard when I atcually saw the fight.
LiuLang- October 13, 2008 at 7:04 pm
If you're that injured where you can't fight effectively, why not just throw in the towel and spare everyone the bullshit. I just don't get it.
TPark- October 13, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Starnes is one of teh greatest! If you want the best cardio workout in your life and you want to know the secrets to lasting 5/5min bouts in the OCTAGON HE IS YOUR MAN! Kalib "Running-Man" Starnes
TPark- October 13, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Starnes is one of teh greatest! If you want the best cardio workout in your life and you want to know the secrest to lasting 5/5min bouts in the OCTAGON HE IS YOUR MAN! Kalib "Running-Man" Starnes
k- October 13, 2008 at 6:17 pm
forgot the chance of him getting knocked out.. if he had a broken foot, why would he risk hurting his foot further by running around the octagon?
mayhem420- October 13, 2008 at 6:09 pm

Hahahahahahah!!!! The best post yet today!
the glza- October 13, 2008 at 6:03 pm
who gives a crap about this second-rate fighter? best guy he's beaten is jason macdonald... 3 years ago. slow news day, i guess...
Clue-by-Four- October 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Hose by Screech-punch knockout.
Tyler Durden- October 13, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Kalib is polishing the brass on the titanic.
Deadpanda- October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Mikey Gilz Says:
October 14th, 2008 at 11:34 am
"All of you are going to feel like real jerks when he one day rescues a puppy who fell down a well……….

shame on you."

The only problem with this is that 1/2 way down the well Starnes will break his foot & spend the next 14 minutes avoiding the puppy.

Starnes will then claim that it was the puppy's fault for dying because it did not try hard enough to reach him.
Mr. Common Sense- October 13, 2008 at 5:39 pm
If your foot was broken, wouldn't you want to be OFF that foot completely? I would say yes. In that case, your best option would be to not run in backwards circles around the cage, but to basically stay in one place and eventually pull guard, correct? Lay on your back and work some submissions, avoiding any upkicks using your bad foot, and hope you can catch Quarry in an armbar or a triangle (using your good foot as the lock point). Or, worst case scenario, you could just tell the ref that you can't continue because your foot is broken. If, in fact, it actually is. Surely UFC contracts still allow you to collect your paycheck if you suffer a legitimate injury during a fight.
Mikey Gilz- October 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm
All of you are going to feel like real jerks when he one day rescues a puppy who fell down a well..........

shame on you.
MMA Monkey- October 13, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Broken foot my ass.
don't diss libraries- October 13, 2008 at 5:10 pm
HEY!!!! Don't talk smack about public libraries, Ben!!! They are the pride of our civic institutions. Many of your readers would do well by frequenting them more often.

Stay in school kids, no matter how many Affliction shirts you buy you ain't gonna be the next GSP.

There is nothing more noble than the spread of knowledge.

Psycho MMA guy- October 13, 2008 at 5:02 pm
mayhem420- October 13, 2008 at 4:58 pm
1st. Love that video...makes me laugh every time I see it!

2nd. Kalib signed the contract for the fight and knew how much he stood to make. He has no one to blame for his payscale other than him self or his managment team.

3rd. For a broken foot he does move pretty good... I ran track in HS and would not have been able to move around that well with a jacked up foot.

4th. If said foot was broken why not throw in the towel? Wouldnt that have been the smart thing to do?

5. Kalib is a jackass...
Shaun- October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Let me just say, your story about Starnes leading his life as a library worker: hilarious.