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‘Keep Your Expectations Low’ Alert: Kevin James to Film UFC-Themed Comedy

Kevin James Quinton Rampage Jackson Paul Blart Mall Cop Spike
("The guy has titties. I couldn’t do a comedy bit next to a guy with titties. For real." Props:

Comic actor Kevin James has long been a familiar face at UFC events, so we suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened. According to a report on (via MMAMania) the star of such critically acclaimed films as Grown Ups and Paul Blart: Mall Cop has his next masterpiece in the works, and yep, it’s MMA-related:

James is attached to play a physics teacher whose school faces drastic cutbacks. In an attempt to save his best friend’s job and the music program his students love, he moonlights in the octagon as a mixed martial arts fighter, ultimately leading to brawling in the UFC. The film is on a fast track, and production presidents Matt Tolmach and Doug Belgrad hope to get it into production next year.

I know what you’re thinking — the idea of shlubby-ass Kevin James getting a UFC contract is way too far-fetched, even in the context of a screwball comedy. But remember, Roy Nelson was an untrained paralegal with no MMA experience before going on TUF 10, and you all saw how well that worked out. One more thing: The music-teacher best friend in the movie? I’m willing to bet that the role will be an embarrassing gay stereotype played by Rob Schneider. Seriously, you all have to pay me five bucks if I’m right.

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Fisicoculturismo Espana- September 3, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Great article, I really enjoyed it. I even showed it to my brother and he loved it as well. Great stuff seriously, good job!
todo fisicoculturismo
Komodo- July 28, 2011 at 12:22 am
This site has been destroyed by spammers. Unbelievable.
disastras- September 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm
This movie can't be worse than any of the other shit that I've seen at the theater lately. At least I'll get to see the sexy Kevin James' tits.
NECROPHYTE- September 17, 2010 at 8:15 am
The film is probably gonna feature actors from Happy Madison productions, they seem to recycle the same actors in all those films.
Shaky- September 17, 2010 at 7:08 am

oooh, kitty has claws.
b-ill- September 17, 2010 at 6:54 am
Kevin James' movies need better directors. He's funny. Just his movies are not. I would be way more juiced if Jon Favreau or Seth Rogen where the fat, octagonite.
jimbonics- September 16, 2010 at 10:18 pm

lmao! By the time I got to your comment, I wasn't sure what you were referring to, then I scrolled back up to the banner pic and milk* shot out my nose.

*Topo Chico
Hank Mardukis- September 16, 2010 at 10:00 pm
@ Viva Hate

"and Patton Oswalt will be playing his cup"

I laughed so hard I peed a little.
Gardeninja- September 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm
I hope Dan Quinn and Gary Busey play his buddies in the movie and the bad guy is the reanimated corpse of B.I.G
RwilsonR- September 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm
@ ArmFarmer - "I have a hard time grasping how they are going to have an overweight physics teacher with no previous training (I assume) accomplish something that it takes elite atheletes years to do?"

It will involve I wise old trainer, most likely a wise old black trainer, who knows more about the sport than anyone else, and should have been the greatest champion of his generation but for some unfair/tragic reason was kept from it, and he train him the basics along with one or two impossible moves that will win the day.

Isn't that obvious?
ArmFarmer- September 16, 2010 at 5:53 pm

I was thinking more South Park, the episode where they go skiing. Stan had to race some random dude so Cartmen informed him they needed to utilize the training montage. Of course the song that played during it was about sports movie training montages.

But, now that I think about it the same people made them both.. so I guess I'm not the only one that recycles jokes. At least they recycled their own joke though...
cecils_pupils- September 16, 2010 at 5:27 pm
@DangaDaDangaDaDang - ^^^ yeah, I saw that one and thought it was hilarious. I knew they had an affiliation of some kind, but I didn't know that Kevin James actually cornered for him way back in the day (thanks also, tmanifold).
DangadaDang- September 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm
@ cecils

Bas Rutten actually guest starred as a bouncer on an episode of King of Queens as well.

Funny thing about Rob Schneider, I met this girl who went to the same private school as his son. He was a drug dealer. Obviously a smart kid though, even he realized you gotta be stoned out of your mind to watch his dads films. All the weed in the world couldnt get me to watch The Hot Chick again though.
danomite- September 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Wow, Don Frye has been spending way too much time at Hooters lately. He looks terrible.
Get Off Me- September 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm
"always fade out in a montage..."
-team america: world police
ArmFarmer- September 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Aside from everything else inherintly wrong with this concept.. I have a hard time grasping how they are going to have an overweight physics teacher with no previous training (I assume) accomplish something that it takes elite atheletes years to do? You'd think by the time he learned the basics and finished his first amateur fight it'd already be too late to accomplish anything.. nevermind the whole going pro, making a name for yourself, and finally getting your first fight in the ufc.

Then again, in the movie industry all it takes is a 45 second training montage set to music and he's good to go I guess. He'd make a lot more money a lot quicker just selling his mouth on craigslist though.
Harry Nips- September 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I've been holding my breath for a sequel to "Beverly Hills Ninja". Finally, my life is complete.
agentsmith- September 16, 2010 at 3:36 pm
You know, there's a certain UFC fighter who fancies himself a part-time actor and might be interested in this... can't recall his name... if I saw a photo of him I bet I'd remember though.
Get Off Me- September 16, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I wonder what will happen when Kevin's character gets 5k to show and 5k to win for his first few fights...if the teacher by day is going to raise money this movie should be chalked full of fights, like bloodsport but funnier...yup "straight to DVD" it is ballkick.
Clyde- September 16, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Can't... lower... expectations... enough...
Ballkick- September 16, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Why does the phrase "Straight to DVD" spring to mind?
Fried Taco- September 16, 2010 at 2:58 pm
I'll only watch if he gets to use the Segway in the Octagon.
RwilsonR- September 16, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Hey... Roy Nelson wore his yellow jumpsuit in homage to David Carradine, not to a paralegal!!!
Biffmiester- September 16, 2010 at 2:02 pm
It'd be pretty funny if Ace turned out to be the music teacher portraying the embarassingly gay stereotype. Hey, he already has professional experience in the field. Only real hurdle would be to how to get Rich to act like a teacher. Could be tricky.

[ the way, for the literal types (@Morningwood & Boo), this is called sarcasm. Please turn off your 8-tracks and step into the 21st century.]
Viva Hate- September 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm
From what I gathered together from different site Leah Remini is playing a ring girl, Jerry Stiller will be his trainer in some sort of comedic Mickey character, and Patton Oswalt is playing his cup, IMDB is a sick place.