By Shep Ramsey
Last Thursday, Keith Jardine was chilling at home in Albuquerque, New Mexico, possibly finding the best torrents available to catch last week’s episode of Workaholics, when he spotted some dude pull up to his mailbox.
A convicted home-burglar named Richard Davenport rolled up to the driveway, opened Jardine’s mailbox, took his envelopes and began to flee.
Jardine then got into his Ford Bronco and decided to take matters into his own hands. The Dean of Mean chased down the mail-thief, slammed his truck right in front of Davenport, pulled him out of his car and held him until police arrived.
“I reached back like I was going to hit him and right then he yielded to everything,” said Jardine, who sounds like he’d be a truly awful cellmate. Jardine added that Davenport played dumb at first, saying he was picking up the mail for a friend. Take it away, The Rock.
If you haven’t already, please check out the news segment at the top of this post, featuring an amazing reenactment of the incident that would make Unsolved Mysteries pretty jealous. Did you notice that Davenport was wearing a fucking PRIDE FC sweatshirt? Seriously, is this a setup? Is he a crazed fan who wanted Jardine’s Brazzers account password so he could be like him? Is it one of the shady promoters from the Dominican Republic who opted to pay Jardine, and then decided to take it back?
Maybe it was just a coincidence that this idiot was dressed like an MMA fan. Whatever the case may be, the semi-retired Jardine picked up his first win in almost three years. Gotta love a happy ending.