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Kim Couture Loses to Woman with Zero Previous Pro MMA Fights

(VidProps: Youtube/superboxmma)

It appears that whatever remained of Kim Couture’s sad little MMA career unraveled this weekend at an XFC show in Tampa, Florida. If you didn’t already know that Couture is nothing more than a marginally talented former casino worker (with arguably the worst website in the sport) who is just trying to trade off the famous last name of her former husband, well, now you do.

Couture stepped in the cage on Friday night with Marianna “The Crushen Russian” Kheyfets – a 25-year-old without a Wikipedia page who was making her pro MMA debut – and for a while it looked like things were going to go “Sugar Free’s” way. Couture got the better of the stand-up exchanges landing, as the HDNet broadcast team pointed out, some pretty decent right hands. But a little more than two minutes in, Kheyfets nailed her with an overhand right of her own that sent Couture sprawling to the mat. In the scramble that followed, Kheyfets expertly locked up – what  else? – a triangle choke and secured the tapout.

Look, it’s not that Kim Couture shouldn’t be fighting. We live in, as we’re reminded again and again right before someone does something really stupid, a free country. If Couture wants to spend her time working toward being a middle-of-the-road player in the shallow pond that its female MMA, that’s her prerogative.  I just don’t think her fights should be on TV, HDNet or otherwise, and I don’t think her bouts should be booked second to last on any fight card, even at XFC.  (Former WEC fighter Micah Miller knocked out Bruce “The Noose” Conners in the actual main event, if you’re interested.)

And furthermore, shouldn’t there be some kind of a statute of limitations on this woman being able to bill herself as a Couture? For my money, the period she’s allowed to use that name for promotional purposes should extend no longer than the duration of the actual marriage which – unless those two crazy kids were hitched for a lot longer than I remember – means her time should be almost up. After that, I think she should be forced to go back to being regular old Kimmie “Sugar Free”  Borrego and fighting on the undercard of events held in the parking lots of heavy machinery rental facilities outside of Iowa City, Iowa, just like the rest of her similarly talented peers.

Maybe this victory says more about Kheyfets, who didn’t shrink from the moment despite making her mixed fighting debut on a relatively big stage, on TV against a recognizable name, than it does Couture. She hung in there on the feet, gave nearly as good as she got, and as soon as the bout hit the mat she unleashed a triangle that would’ve brought a tear to the eye of Fabricio Werdum. Kheyfets hung onto it, too, even after Couture offered a weak thumbs-up to let the ref know she was OK, just cinching it up tighter, until it eventually elicited the concession.

But regardless of the level competition, I think it’s time that someone who cares about Kim Couture has a long, frank talk with her about her future in this sport.

Cagepotato Comments

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Defender- July 12, 2010 at 8:41 am

They did that here in Des Moines too. At what is now called Uncle Bucks (used to be Veax Carre). A complete douchebag named Ryan Haas "ran" it. You would show up...sign a contract stating you weren't going to sue and they would give you some used gloves (full boxing). The kicker is...if Ryan didn't like you, or one of his goonies saw a guy in the crowd trying to scuffle with another guy...they would run over and put them in the ring.

One time I saw it...a guy was so drunk, they had to hold the pen while he signed. He ended up in the hospital with a broken orbital, jaw and 7 stitches under his eye. The other guy was stone sober. Once the cell phone video of that one got out, Ryan's self-drawn contract didn't hold up real well in court.

On a completely unrelated note...what are the official sanctioned rules on boob punching?
Fried Taco- July 12, 2010 at 5:44 am
And while we're at it, let's get that stupid Juicy Couture to change their name, too. What right do they have to be using Randy's name?
SiDeBuRnZ- July 11, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Holy f*ck! It just tastes better!
Seoul Brother- July 11, 2010 at 8:15 pm
@Dick_Gozenya: Or for that Samba-tastic party in your mouth, try the Cristiane Fish Sticks with our patented mystery sauce!
Dick_Gozenya- July 11, 2010 at 7:31 pm
You'll tap out your hunger with the new Wendy's fish triangle fillet sandwich! A generous triangle of crusty white fish comes slathered in secret sauce with sticky melted cheese, pickles, onions and possibly ketchup! Squeezed between two plump white buns! Dive into one today!
Dick_Gozenya- July 11, 2010 at 7:24 pm
I was going to say some shit but it's just the same as the general consensus. Good fight, nice triangle, fuck it, milk it, whatever. A'ight? Peace. Peeeow
Charming Charlie- July 11, 2010 at 2:26 pm
The Couture name is sacred now? We really give a fuck who uses it because we're such fans of Randy? We believe, like children believe about these things, that Randy is a hero?
DazedNConfused- July 11, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Meh looked like an entertaining fight to me. The triangle showed that Kheyfets has been training and indeed has skills. Couture will continue staying relevent if you keep posting her fight vids on your website. There is no such thing as bad publicity in some cases.
easy21- July 11, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Kim "I love disgracing the name Couture" Borrego looked as awful as ever in her fight on XFC. Every punch she threw she pointed her chin straight in the air and it looked like she closed her eyes during most. I agree with everything written in this article she is an awful fighter and has no place on a televised MMA event. I was impressed with Kheyfets mostly because it was her first fight, but i still loved watching her tap Sugar free.
ScarTissue- July 11, 2010 at 11:52 am
I don't care for Women's MMA or Kim Couture but this article is crap. Kheyfets has 0 MMA fucking what? She looked good on her feet and has obviously trained in martial arts for years. As far as calling herself Couture, it's likely still her legal name. Many women decide to keep their ex's name after a divorce... especially shrewd cunts who can make a buck off of it.

This is the equivalent of the day after forum posts of "_blank_ is done and should retire." after _blank_ has had his first loss.
libertyhawk84- July 11, 2010 at 11:22 am
Iowa City used to hold fights at a bar, where it was my understanding that you could just show up and they would let you fight someone. That got shut down really fast.
Organ Donor- July 11, 2010 at 10:55 am
If Randy loses to James, the family name will need serious rehab.
Seoul Brother- July 11, 2010 at 10:16 am
At least when Lil' Kim's 15 minutes are up, she can try out for the next season of "Cathouse."
LSpyker- July 11, 2010 at 9:37 am
I dont know what you guys are talking about cause she's "A mother, a model, a business women and a in your face, tell it like it is fighter, who has been changing the world of MMA and bringing acceptance for female fighters around the world in a once male dominated sport."
Ballkick- July 11, 2010 at 9:30 am
I thought this was a pretty good tilt, Kim is no Cyborg or Carano, but she does have some skill. The majority of women's fights I have seen are a far cry from the men's. To try to hold them up to the same scrutiny is IMO unfair.
However some women fighters can and do possess the same level of skill but will never attain the same type of power a man can generate. It is physically impossible.
Kim needs to change her last name as mentioned before, riding on the coat-tails of your last name is not the way to get any respect in any profession. Just because Randy penetrated this women does not mean she somehow magically absorbed his cage fighting ability.
Kim,.... "take the Bull by the horns" again and march down to the county court house and change your name. It wont get you a "W" but it might buy you some respect.
imabigfan- July 11, 2010 at 9:22 am
Agreed that Randy's ex should probably stop riding the coat tails, but on the other hand, it's a savvy business move if not a soulless and calculating one.

@ytrebil--I was thinking the same thing. Succubus tapped twice before the ref moved in, and even then it looked like he only responded to Kheyfets' polite and doughy-eyed glance indicating maybe he should pay a little mind to the scuffle in front of him.

Less a poor performance by Guilt Free than a hell of an effort by Kheyfets in my opinion.
Sudos KFC- July 11, 2010 at 8:44 am
That was not a particularly well executed triangle, she never really adjusted it or shrimped out, just tugged behind kims ponytail till she got sick of the fish smell.
DangadaDang- July 11, 2010 at 8:32 am
Wait, this girls nickname is "The Crushen Russian?" Her fighting skills are apparently way ahead of her English.
ytrebil- July 11, 2010 at 8:14 am
I hate seeing women fight.

However, that was a very nice transition to triangle. I was impressed.

The ref did a good job on noticing the tap. What the f##k was he doing.
LAS- July 11, 2010 at 8:12 am
FYI, in Iowa City we hold our cage fights at the barns on the county fairgrounds.

And trust me, Kim Couture has about 1000% times the skill of what I'm used to seeing from women at such events. There is one weight class; obese and under. Usually, you get two fat chicks in sleeveless t-shirts throwing haymakers for 2 minutes until they gas, at which point you get one sloppy arm strike or push kick per minute for the remaining 13 minutes of the fight. If you get a chick with skill, she'll usually knock the fat chick out with the first punch, which lands on the nose, so it isn't really a knockout, but the fat chick refuses to get up anyway. It's basically Jerry Springer with a ref.
RaginAsian- July 11, 2010 at 8:09 am
Occasionally, people aren't built like fighters but they perform like fighters, such as Roy Nelson. Then there are people who are named like fighters but perform like Foxy Boxers.

And in all fairness, you're helping her trade off the Couture name by writing this article about her. Kudos to the other girl, though. That triangle reminded me of Maia-Sonnen.
RearNakedPoke- July 11, 2010 at 7:37 am
i wouldnt mind getting her in a trinangle OR rearnakedpoke! Kim is hot imo
Cecil PeepHoles- July 11, 2010 at 7:32 am
Says the guys who keep posting articles about her.

She's on TV cuz people keep writing about her.
busted_cranium- July 11, 2010 at 7:22 am
As talentless as she is I'd still gogplata all over Kimmie's chin.
Clyde- July 11, 2010 at 6:59 am
That was a nice transition into the triangle.

I think it's kind of like when Kimbo was headlining in Elite XC, he didn't really deserve to be their either, but as long as he was the biggest star, that's where you put them. Kim may never be the best fighter in the world, but as long as she's famous, she'll be higher up on the card than any equally (or often more) talented fighter, because people want to see who they know.