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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Kimbo Slice: A Man in Desperate Need of a Positive Attitude

Kimbo Slice
(Kimbo, if the diet plan includes cocaine, cigarettes, and vomiting, it’s possible that you may be getting weight cutting advice from the wrong people.)

As the only fighter from season ten of "The Ultimate Fighter" to get a spot on the finale without winning a single fight in the tournament, you might think Kimbo Slice would be stoked simply to be getting the opportunity to show what he can do.  Considering the fact that he’s a heavyweight who is being handed a custom-made catchweight bout with a non-grappler from the weight class below his, you might even expect him to be damn near chipper about the whole thing.  You’d be wrong. 

On a media conference call to discuss this weekend’s finale fights, Slice revealed that he’s been struggling to make the roughly twenty-pound weight cut.  Though he only has to get down to 215 pounds, Slice said that so far the pound-shedding experience has been "not good," adding that the struggle has left him "moody" and generally mentally distressed. 


Fair enough, right?  Twenty pounds isn’t a huge cut for a heavyweight — hell, there are welterweights who drop thirty pounds from smaller frames — but if you’ve never done it before, cutting weight can really get you down.  At least he had the experience of the American Top Team boys behind him, though.  Thiago Alves trains there, and he goes from 205 down to 170 for his fights.

Only Slice doesn’t sound particularly thrilled with how things have been going at ATT.  When asked about his training experience there, he said only, "For what it’s worth, I guess it’s okay."

Sounds like someone is being a real Negative Nancy about this whole thing.  Dammit Kimbo, the UFC is doing everything they can to make you at least a temporary success.  They brought back Houston Alexander specifically to suit your needs, and they even talked him into fighting out of his weight class.  If you can find something to complain about there, maybe you should think about what would have happened if the UFC had actually asked you to fight a guy your own size with a ground game. 

Better yet, think about where you’d be if the UFC left you to the same fate as the other guys who lost in the first round of the show.  Something tells me Demico Rogers would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

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Biffmiester- December 4, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Luscious Lopez...damn that ass of hers is nice!
G Funk- December 4, 2009 at 5:44 pm
^hhmmmm, not funny. It's all I'm sayin...
Ed M- December 4, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I go to assholes anonymous and I haven't made any wisecracks or left any assholish comments in 3 months now. I'm not going to ruin all of that by taking the bait and dignifying Mr. Sample with a remark... ... YOU'RE A NUMBNUT BASTARD SON OF A WIGGER-RAISING WHORE!....
...oh crap.
cagefightmon- December 4, 2009 at 12:16 pm
.
Barc- December 4, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Halford Curtis Sample... Is that you? I knew you'd bring back "da meen caps" one day.

Relevant part of my post:
I really have been pulling for Kimbo to do well. I wanted him to get his ass handed to him when he stepped into MMA; but, the more I see of him I like him. Then the more I hear about him from his trainers, the like slides into "meh." Here's to a heavy handed knockout. K. Ferg/Houston... as long as it's a knockout, we win.
cagefightmon- December 4, 2009 at 11:10 am
However, if it's not a thrown fight . . . Houston will destroy Kimbo
cagefightmon- December 4, 2009 at 11:09 am
PREDICTION: Houston will come out swinging and win the first round and lay down the second round giving Kimbo a "win" to continue his quest as an "ultimate fighter" since the fans love Kimbo. (Kinda like when Tito handed over the fight in his 3rd round against forrest) It'll be Houston's biggest pay day for his planned loss.
MostDiabolicalHaterThisSideOfTheMississippi- December 4, 2009 at 10:44 am
From left: Whore, Whore, Whore, Whore, Whore, Whore.
Clinch-Smash- December 4, 2009 at 9:48 am
four shizel he dizel
Japanadian- December 4, 2009 at 9:26 am
Houston is gonna kick kimbos knee then take him down and submit him or kimbo will quit from the leg kicks. Kimbo is a retard, he ruined his training with Bas Rutten by not listening, then he acts like he wants to learn from the best and he's ready to learn.... he couldn't even make the cut to 205 because he put weight on after the TUF show.
Curt Sample sounds like he's Jaime Kennedy from "Malibu's most wanted"

MarryMeGina- December 4, 2009 at 8:59 am
I love you guys... *initiates group hug*
Tai-Pan- December 4, 2009 at 8:39 am
Boston sucks.

C-sample is whiter than a bucket of bleach, yet all this is highly entertaining.

@ Bens
Aren't you forgetting Pedro Martinez vs Don Zimmer II? Can't beleive I'm the first to think of this.

El Famous Burrito- December 4, 2009 at 7:40 am
I think someone should set up Pedro Martinez vs. Don Zimmer II.

Greatest idea I ever just made up.
NOTSOB- December 4, 2009 at 7:12 am
i think skeletor should get off the boston subject cuz hes a noob ass biatch who would love to live in boston, cuz its sooo great unlike his hick city.
i win!
ReX13- December 4, 2009 at 6:06 am
jimbonics Says:
Thu, 12/03/2009 - 18:26
p. sample needs to pipe down.

"IM IN THE FIGHT GAME FOR RAMPAGE MO'FUCKIN JACKSON, NOT SOME PUSSY WHO WON'T FIGHT"

Irony? Oxymoron? A tear in the time-space continuum? Dumber than Holy Fuckin' Hell?

THIS.

***

1) Why the hell does the only brunette in this picture have to be as fugly as Kaley Cuoco?

2) Why is it that on-camera Kimbo is humble and eager to learn anything, while off-camera Kimbo apparently holds any of that fancy ground-fighting pussy shit in contempt? I started liking the guy after seeing him on the show, but if he can't learn anything from Bas or ATT, you got to start wondering if he's the problem...

3) Bill Belichick blows goats. I have proof.

4) War Zimmer.
Flood- December 4, 2009 at 5:42 am
Longest. 15 minutes. Ever.
BillyBigBalls- December 4, 2009 at 5:29 am
Kimbo has had long enough to develop a ground game, it's been a couple of years since he began in MMA, but he seems far too dumb to learn anything.
JerseyFighter37- December 4, 2009 at 3:44 am
If Kimbo looses to Alexander this weekend they UFC really should cut him. There's no reason for them to keep him on if he's not going to pull his weight.
Clinch-Smash- December 4, 2009 at 2:56 am
curtis sample = cum sample well @ least the same IQ
steampunk22- December 3, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Thats what you got from reading my comment? Wow.


Reading your comments is kind of like starring at a car accident. Except instead of cars being driven, its brains. And the resulting collision, that none of us can tear our eyes away from, is of such staggering brain damage that really all we can do is continue driving past, eyes wide, mouths open, thinking "What in the hell am I witnessing here?".

Curt Sample, I believe the world will solve the problem that is you, for us. Its only a matter of time. There aren't enough safety labels in the world that can save you.....

I must admit though, if anyone else posts, I'm kind of interested to read the comments. There are some funny people on this site and you're presenting quite the target.


Let the Curt Sample bashing continue. Have at 'em everyone, I'm pretty sure it's open season on retardation.

Also, I hope Kimbo loses.

gnight cp! vote for my fedor caption! or ajax's!
curt sample- December 3, 2009 at 10:37 pm
OK STEAMPUNK, I KNOW YOU DONT WANT ME GIVIN YOU A HIP HOP HISTORY LESSON... LORD HERE WE GO...

TUPAC = WEST COAST RAPPER = 831(CALI)SON
GOT MURKED BY THE EAST COAST RAPPERS
EAST COAST= CURTIS SAMPLE, THE BADDEST MO'FUCKER IN THE CITY OF MIAMI

THEREFORE, IF I "GO TUPAC" ON 831SON'S ASS, IM FINNA MURK HIM, YA DIG???

NOW GO HOME AND TELL YOUR BITCH THAT YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED BY THE GREATEST!!!
steampunk22- December 3, 2009 at 9:07 pm
By going "Tupac on ya bitch ass" I assume Curt Sample means that he is going to get shot multiple times, none of us will ever go to jail, and this will be the last we hear of him. But he will release a few mildly irritating comments for the next year or two from beyoooond the graaaaaaave.....

curt sample- December 3, 2009 at 8:55 pm
831SON, IF YOU SENT ANY OF YOUR BITCH ASS FRUITY CALI CREW AFTER ME, YOUD BETTER SEND THEM AN ICE PACK FOR THEIR TROUBLES, YA FEEL ME???

YOU JUST STAY OVER THERE AND ENJOY YA SUNSHINE, YOU DONT WANT NONE OF THIS REPPIN THE 305! DONT MAKE ME GO TUPAC ON YA BITCH ASS

CURTIS SAMPLE OUT!!
831 Son- December 3, 2009 at 8:28 pm
curt sample is such a worthless douche. Someone in his area please fuck him up. Ill send you a twelve pack for your troubles.
whitey- December 3, 2009 at 7:50 pm
go rent it
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