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Kimbo Slice to Fake-Fight Pothead Sumo Wrestler in Japan Next Month, Obviously

("Five…five dolla…five dolla, foot rong." [Ed. note: I sincerely apologize for that awful caption.] / Photo courtesy of sportsnavi.)

His MMA career? Dead in the water. His boxing comeback? Who knows. But the Miami Pound Machine gotta eat. And so, Kimbo Slice has reportedly agreed to perform at an IGF pro wrestling tournament on February 5th in Fukuoka, Japan. His opponent will be Shinichi "Wakakirin" Suzukawa, the marijuana-scandalized sumo wrestler who allegedly went off the script against Mark Coleman last year. (Wakakirin was also supposed to wrestle Bob Sapp at Dynamite!! 2010, but Frankenhood pulled out at the last moment like the professional he is.) And before you ask, yes, Josh Barnett will be part of the tourney as well. 

Note to Kimbo: If you "win" your first match, Antonio Inoki may want to slap the shit out of you in front of everybody. I know, if that happened on a street-corner in Perrine, he would be as dead as yesterday’s chicken. (That’s something that people say, right?) As it turns out, the slapping is actually a sign of respect and well-wishing. Please inform your crew.

Cagepotato Comments

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MediocreThreat- January 18, 2011 at 11:19 am
Believe it or not, he's not participating in the five-dollar footlong jingle. Look up "tegata." It's a sumo thing. Anyway, why the hell are you talking about Kimbo Slice? He isn't fighting anymore. No one cares about him. No more articles, please.

Domo arigato, Mr. Potato
glassjawsh- January 18, 2011 at 11:05 am
oh casual racism, an american institution
ArmFarmer- January 18, 2011 at 10:51 am

Not with that attitude...
agentsmith- January 18, 2011 at 8:54 am
Kimbo can't look at a chin like that without feeling a powerful urge to punch it.
Sniffer-Piffits- January 18, 2011 at 8:52 am
Behind Kimbo's beard there is no chin. Just another fist. Actually, that stupid gold fist he wears around his neck. It was stashed there by the ferret who also happens to live in his beard. Ferrets love shiny things... Note to Kimbo: If you do not disturb the ferret's hiding spot he will continue to bring things there. That way you'll always know where your shiny stuff is hiding.
knucklesamitch- January 18, 2011 at 8:37 am
I think the photo just captured the dude on the right in the middle of doing "Spirit fingers"
RSparrow- January 18, 2011 at 8:27 am
I give meat of five real dolphrin for meat from this brack guy
fatbellyfrank- January 18, 2011 at 8:24 am
Kimbo needs to get his ass over to McMahon land, he'd be great with the promo's and make a shitload of money, as we see here, no legitimate fighting organisation will touch him, hes a street brawler who can do the biz at that level, soon as he comes against someone with any idea of fight plan or just basic defensive skills he's fucked
hotsaucemonster- January 18, 2011 at 8:21 am
rut row
fatbellyfrank- January 18, 2011 at 8:18 am
@ armfarmer, well played sir, and I have to admit I don't actually consider semen as a snack, can I still come and visit?
Kimbos Bread- January 18, 2011 at 7:50 am
Funniest fucking caption ever!

Somebody give the writer a shirt (or a doo rag, or a dish cloth, or whatever itis the kids are doing the the CP shirts nowadays).
ArmFarmer- January 18, 2011 at 7:50 am
Ok the shameless troll job is played out now.. I'm done. Well played with your little trick cp, good stuff. I got a kick out of that. All in good fun. Now enough with the trolling, and back to being a whiney bitch ;)
knucklesamitch- January 18, 2011 at 7:49 am
you cannot slap Kimbo's beard...unless you want it to slap you back.
Admiral Allah Ackbar- January 18, 2011 at 7:41 am
Is that an even more asian Scott coker on the right?
RearNakedSpoon- January 18, 2011 at 7:39 am
I like the way they only have a picture of Kimbo, gets us ready for Barnett's US fight(s) which he will conduct via phone proxy.

Turn based MMA, its the future!
Smitty- January 18, 2011 at 7:28 am
I just hope the last name of the guy on the left isn't Chin.
El Famous Burrito- January 18, 2011 at 7:24 am
O Chan- January 18, 2011 at 7:23 am
I'm Asian, and I approve that caption.

Also, the guy on the left... Is that the same guy who slapped the shit out of Machida?
ArmFarmer- January 18, 2011 at 7:05 am
kimbo is hawt I bet he can fill a gallon jug with his spooge

no homo
newotnek- January 18, 2011 at 7:04 am
Best! Caption! Ever!