I go to a buffet place called Soup Plantation once every month or so and every time I go through the all-you-can-eat soup bar, they have this “Irish Potato Leek” soup that looks like a creature is going to crawl out of it and start a new species that will eventually become the dominant one on earth. I’ve never seen anyone eat it, ever, and this is a six dollar buffet that many sleeveless patrons frequent. Somehow, even though everyone hates it, it keeps getting a spot on the buffet line. This is how I feel about David Blaine. How is it possible that he still gets TV deals to do shit when everyone I know hates him?
Of course, the main reason that Blaine-haters hate him so much is that there’s very little “magic” involved in what he does. He’ll stand on a ledge for a long time. Or he’ll sit in a glass box for a long time, or hold his breath for a long time. Watching his act requires a lot more patience than we have. And now he’s dragged Kimbo Slice into his world of garbage-ass illusion. Esther Lin has the story:
Last week, David Blaine stopped by Bas Rutten’s gym here in Southern California, to shoot a piece for his Dive of Death special, airing Wednesday night on ABC. The “trick” is going to be Kimbo Slice punching David Blaine in the stomach and is an homage to Houdini, whom David says is his hero (duh). I say “trick” because I don’t know what kind of trick there is to getting punched in the abdomen besides flexing and hoping for the best. Blaine explains before taping that Houdini died from injuries sustained taking punches to the stomach. [Ed. note: Bullshit.]
The rather physically fit Blaine claims he chose Kimbo because the fighter is one of the few people he fears. From my observation, it does not seem as if the magician is intimidated in conversation. But faced with Kimbo’s clenched fist before him, Blaine does look visibly nervous. He asks his audience of gym employees and Kimbo’s entourage, “Is this stupid?” Everyone grinned widely back.
I won’t spoil the fun but there’s no illusion involved to this bit. David Blaine simply stands in the middle of the cage, lifts up his shirt to prove he’s not hiding any protective material, and asks Kimbo to punch him. And after? Kimbo is wowed by David Blaine’s resistance to his gut shot.
I can’t find the video, but they did this same trick on Jackass with a different mixed martial artist a few years ago. It was a retarded, though entertaining bit of low comedy, and Rick Kosick would up with a nice fist-shaped bruise. The only way Blaine’s version will impress me is if his stomach literally swallows Kimbo’s fist, and then when Kimbo pulls it out, he’s holding the same ace of spades he picked earlier. For more on Kimbo’s appearance in the Dive of Death special, go here.