
(Props: UFC.com)
In about 12 hours (give or take, depending on where you are in the country), Kimbo Slice and Roy Nelson will go toe-to-toe in the most highly anticipated exhibition bout in Ultimate Fighter history. Will the former street brawler prove himself to be "a real fighter," or will big-bellied Roy Nelson stick to the script and chew out a win? (Or both, maybe?) I’m sure you’re all sitting on your hands in unbearable anticipation, but feel free to read this stuff to pass the time until the moment of truth:
— Kimbo Slice may be fighting at UFC 107, not the TUF 10 finale: A possible slip-up during a media conference call suggests that Slice will make his post-TUF debut on the December pay-per-view card in Memphis. Implication: Kimbo loses at some point during the season, but doesn’t embarrass himself, and his television popularity is enough to warrant an appearance on a big show.
— Rashad Evans thinks Roy Nelson has all the tools a heavyweight needs, except for killer instinct. Meanwhile, Evans believes Kimbo has tremendous potential as long as he’s with the right trainers, but lacks the explosive power in his legs to go along with his impressive upper-body. Implication: Roy wins tonight by decision.
— Kimbo has no regrets about his TUF experience: “If I have to lose a fight, I’d rather lose to a guy like that, someone with a big name like that. It just makes sense to have two big names go at it. One’s got to win, and one’s got to lose, and that’s just the nature of the beast…I was impressed with my performance. I was impressed with everything—I’m not crying about nothing.” Implication: Another vote for "Roy wins tonight."
— Black Israelites believe that whitey will lose the upcoming race riots, regardless of gogoplatas and redneck’ed chokes. Kimbo will beat up all those overweight ex-football players. Implication: Kimbo wins, by the power of Afro Jesus.
— Slice credits his mother for inspiring him to stay out of a life of crime and turn his efforts towards something more positive. Implication: Kimbo is a bitch-ass momma’s boy. (Kidding, Ferg!)


Roy Nelson wins by submission via his belly smothering Kimbo’s face whilst Kimbo’s pube-beard is being rubbed down into his throat