(Kimo is upset about your 2.7 GPA, but only because he knows you could do better if you would just apply yourself.)
Kimo Leopoldo’s campaign/publicity stunt to become executive officer of the California State Athletic Commission continues this week, as a press release sent out on his behalf accuses the CSAC of widespread corruption and cover-ups, claiming, "Somebody or some group apparently is trying to hide the degree of corruption in CSAC," in part because former executive director Armando Garcia "was allegedly caught with $350,000 (in cash) in his locker, but he was allowed to resign instead of being prosecuted."
Leopoldo claims that once he’s in charge he’ll allow the staff to stay in their positions if they cooperate with an FBI investigation, and says, “temporary executive officer Dean Lohouis isn’t any different than Armando [Garcia]. The CSAC needs change and I’m willing to provide therapy.”
Get it? “Kimo” therapy? Like the excruciating treatment for cancer patients? It’s a play on words.
The good news is Leopoldo would also like to bring his message of ‘I did steroids so you don’t have to’ to California high schools:
“I think it’s better to instill good habits in a young person as opposed to trying to break bad habits when you’re older,” KIMO said as he prepared to schedule to his campaign trail. “Since most MMA fighters seem to be coming out of my backyard in southern California, I want to talk to local wrestlers about the benefits of staying drug free and how to remain positive even when times seem too tough. I don’t want anyone to make the same mistakes I made and, if I can save just one young person, my efforts will be worthwhile.”
Give the man this much: as a cautionary tale to warn kids about what will happen to them if they use steroids, it doesn’t get a whole lot scarier than Kimo.
However, I would like to point out that calling the CSAC a bunch of criminally corrupt jerks may not be the best way to get a job with them. It’s like when I applied for that internship with Nike and began the interview by putting my Lebrons on the HR guy’s desk and demanding he explain to me how a chunk of leather and plastic sewn together by Thai orphans could possibly cost $140. Let’s just say he wasn’t interested in my proficiency with Microsoft Excel after that.
Loading ...
Kimo: Ok kids, lesson #1 don’t get caught holding. Use your friend’s bunghole if you have to, but don’t get caught holding.