(Taking a page out of Aleksander Emelianenko’s book, Cremeans opted for the pre-fight nose pick to ensure a quick and brutal finish.)
Meet Kyle “Big Nasty” Cremeans, a 2-1 heavyweight out of Ohio who looks about as intimidating as your average sack of laundry, with a physique that is equally as impressive. He fights out of “Team Destruction,” which should tell you right away that he is not to be taken lightly (as if it were even possible, amirite?!). At first glance, you would expect Cremeans to be the kind of fighter that employs a Greg Stott, R.I.P style of fighting, or maybe the Larry Watts “just throw heat until I am completely unconscious” stratagem. Surely this fat sack of lard would not be able to lift his hands above his waist, let alone deliver a devastating, first punch, walk-off knockout over his slightly less obese opponent, right?
Skip to the one minute mark for the beginning/end of this one, which went down on the undercard of Ohio based promotion Revelation Fight Organization at their tenth Big Guns event last weekend. Cremeans’ opponent, Jonathan Bunce, was making his professional debut, and it turns out that the touch of gloves would be the closest he would ever get to putting them hands on Cremeans.
Shortly after said glove touch, Bunce tries to close the distance in the quickest possible manner and is promptly sent into a Marquardt/Maia-esque tailspin compliments of a big, nasty left hook. This is an unfortunate side effect of charging in with your hands down that James Thompson has yet to learn in nearly 40 fights. The ref quickly steps in and saves Bunce, who is too busy reaching for the fleeting remnants of his UFC hopes and dreams to realize that the fight was even over. Sad.
Clearly Cremeans draws a lot of power from the American flag shorts he purchased in approximately 1987, because that punch was a thing of beauty, and now stands as the fastest knockout in RFO history. A congratulations is in order for Kyle, who proved once and for all that appearances mean nothing in MMA. Also, never doubt a man with a nickname derived from a McDonald’s hamburger. A fantastic McDonald’s hamburger.