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Knockout of the Day: How to End a Street Fight Before It Ever Begins

(Props to Fightlinker for the find.)

Before you guys start jumping on your soapboxes in regards to the legitimacy of street fight videos on an MMA website, just check this shit out right here. I’m not one to unnecessarily hype up a video, but I am going to go ahead and declare this THE GREATEST STREET FIGHT KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME.

Here’s the backstory as I imagined it: Aryan Abe Lincoln was just coming home from a rough day at work. He blew a tire on the way in, forgot to pack a lunch, and got royally chewed out by his boss because Johnson in accounting had botched his quarterly reports (again!). And to make matters worse, his whore of a wife — I say “whore” because it was well known by Aryan Abe’s neighbors that she was a Bulgarian prostitute he had mail-ordered — had gone and jumped into bed with the pool boy, Ronie with one n, who was now standing outside Abe’s house declaring that he would fight for her love.

Unfortunately for Ronie, Aryan Abe had been studying Muay Thai over the past few years, you know, to cope with the fact that his wife was a whore, and quickly put the kibosh on Ronie’s proposal in emphatic fashion. That sound you heard, believe it or not, was not that of a bologna roll being dropped from a roof off screen, but that of poor Ronie’s dreams and aspirations coming to a crashing halt.

Seriously though, you have to respect the guy that will drag your lifeless corpse off the street after he’s bounced your head off said street, as to ensure that no careless driver out there accidentally finishes you off. I believe those are Marquess of Queensbury Rules, right?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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GistoftheFist- January 8, 2013 at 8:49 am
DAMMIT Cagepotato! I have two playlists full of streetfights that are MUCH better than the videos you keep posting here as the "fight of the week/day". The fights you post are either the weakest ones I have on my playlist or you have videos with shitty shaky cameras! Stop ignoring me and post the fights I send you for once! I've got really good quality fights with great action but you refuse to post any of them!
Mr_Misanthropy- January 7, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Somebody call da amber-lamps!

I saw one in a bar downtown back in the day where a little 5'5"ish dude jumped to hit a big 6'2"ish doughboy right on the button. Left dude laying on the ground with the stankleg. I turned around just in time to see it happen and have no idea what it was about.
Gobbleston- January 7, 2013 at 2:24 pm
I want that sad song from the end of The Incredible Hulk tv series to play as dude walks away.
biohazardone- January 7, 2013 at 12:53 pm
Wow!!!!! I wonder if the guys is alright. He might cracked his skull. That was one hell of a drop. On the up side to this, the guy that punched him shows fighting manners. He knocked a guy out and then helps him move to a safe area where a car will not run over him. Classy touch.
J.Jones- January 7, 2013 at 11:37 am
@Filmdrunk - I thought the same at first. The nonchalant pre-fight throw of the cigarette, the "guy walking away from an explosion" shot at the end, it all seemed too good to be true. However, the shot to the dome Ronie took was no doubt legitimate, and that's good enough for me.
FilmDrunk- January 7, 2013 at 11:29 am
I can't put my finger on it, but something about this just screams staged.
RSparrow- January 7, 2013 at 10:50 am
Danga, you need to watch more street fights.
Onan- January 7, 2013 at 10:38 am
I hate seeing videos like this. One minute you're thinking you're badass because you knocked a guy out with an elbow strike. The next you're crying at your manslaughter sentencing hearing because when the guy cracked his skull on the concrete he got a traumatic brain injury and died.
2Dogs- January 8, 2013 at 2:07 am joke...people die all the time here in Scotland because of...THE GREATEST STREET FIGHT KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME
2Dogs- January 8, 2013 at 2:06 am joke...people die all the time here in Scotland because of ...apparently...THE GREATEST STREET FIGHT KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME
Ninjanate- January 7, 2013 at 10:28 am
Maybe best t-shirt in a KO video of all time, but Karate guy vs. pimp was still a better KO video
MorningwoodII- January 7, 2013 at 10:28 am
leaving teh scene of an accident is against the law. But, on the other hand if it's on purpose it's ok to leave the scene.
MorningwoodII- January 7, 2013 at 10:26 am
nothing like seeing a shit dick get dropped in emphatic fashion.
The12ozCurls- January 7, 2013 at 10:24 am
Jonathan Goulet thinks Ronie has a glass jaw.
ksgbobo- January 7, 2013 at 9:49 am
Yes! I like the story leading up to the fight because that's me everyday!