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Knockout of the Day: Justice is Served to Another Fake Glove-Tapper

(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.) 

There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost. 

This son of a motherless goat even had the audacity to raise his fist first once the fight began, but before Thorne could even acknowledge the false attempt at sportsmanship, Fyfe pounced, dropping Thorne with a right hand that nearly sealed the deal right then and there. But what Fyfe failed to realize is that you just can’t keep a good man down, something one of his kin might have told him had he not been the product of the aforementioned goat sodomy.

After clearing the cobwebs as best as he could, Thorne rose back to his feet — not unlike the might Phoenix from that of its ashes — and caught Fyfe with a left hook that all but sent him into stasis. It looks like the goat that shat out Fyfe happened to be narcoleptic as well [BA DUM TSSH!].

It would be Fyfe’s fourth (T)KO loss in 7 fights, which begs one to ask what exactly he is trying to prove in the first place. Unless he is some kind of self-aware genius attempting to go down in MMA history as the martyr who sacrificed his brain to prove that justice still exists in this world, in which case he is undoubtedly succeeding.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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FightZen- November 20, 2012 at 4:47 pm
"It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face."

Danga, you witty son of a bitch. That is my favorite sentence of 2012.
KarmaAteMyCat- November 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm
This is why you just don't touch gloves, it should never happen. Ever... Fuck touching gloves.
oc in this bitch- November 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm
i finally agree with well maybe not the first time but well said.u touch gloves before the fight why the fuck would u touch after u go to ur corners?makes no sence.easy fix dont fuckin touch gloves.bam me and karma just shocked the world and put an end to such a rediculous controversy
HEY- November 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Mr_Misanthropy- November 20, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Jersterse wers served.
raton- November 20, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Thorne didn't acknowledge the glove tap and looked to throw a jab instead. He was obliged by getting hit in the face as well he should've been.
Hamydog- November 20, 2012 at 12:26 pm
What do you mean fake glove tapper? From what I saw, the other fighter didnt want to touch gloves so he went at him. Jared Jones and his inaccurate posts......
Fried Taco- November 20, 2012 at 11:41 am
And the ref appears to be a fan of karma as well, since he seemed kind of slow on the stoppage in an almost nonchalant way, letting the floor turd take a few extra shots for good measure.
fightfan- November 20, 2012 at 11:09 am
Not as bad as Cowboy-Paul Kelly or that Colton Dbag from this season of TUF. Whats even worse is when Colton said that wit asnt his intention when Big country called him out on it. Then what was his intention? He got his opponent to raise fist for the touch then shot under for the takedown. Dickheaded douchebag move
angry little feet- November 20, 2012 at 10:41 am
I think Danga has managed to write an article almost entirely in Potato-ese. That's pretty impressive you guys!
cman- November 20, 2012 at 9:23 am
Being fair and agreeing the fake glove tap is shitty, Thorne never made even the slightest hint he was going to touch gloves. How close and how long does one wait? Ettiquette and all.
The12ozCurls- November 20, 2012 at 9:08 am
I didn't even check the video but that is the best opening paragraph for 2012 - and if you don't know why, then . . . . . . . . . .