(As is usually the case with potato-filmed Brazilian fight videos, we recommend that you turn down your speakers before pressing play.)
We find it a bit sardonic that, just a day after we passed along Joe Rogan’s picks for the greatest head kick knockouts in UFC History, we received a video of what might be the slowest head kick knockout we have ever seen.
This six-second, first “punch” knockout comes to us courtesy of Thiago Xplode, who we are just going to assume is the alter ego of the Youtube user who uploaded this video last month, Thiago Fernandes. Similarly troubling is the fact that this fight supposedly took place at Parabellum Fight 2 in 2010, although neither “Xplode” nor his opponent/victim, Fabio Diniz, are listed on the event’s Sherdog page.
But none of that really matters. What matters is how this mysterious Thiago character was able to execute a completely telegraphed, half-speed head kick knockout with zero setup. Without sounding too much like a keyboard warrior, I will just say that in the time it took Thiago to deliver that kick, I was able to complete my Master’s thesis, “The Effect of Tachyon Destabilization on the Warp Core.”