(Anyone got some chalk?)
We’ve been watching people get knocked out for a long time, Potato Nation. So long, in fact, that it’s gotten to the point where we’ve begun to categorize these knockouts according to the manner in which a fighter’s lifeless body crumbles to the canvas. Is it insensitive, wrong, and perhaps a little too dark? Sure, but if you were worried about sensitivity and other womanly issues, you probably wouldn’t be here. And that’s why we love you as much as two heterosexual sadists can possibly love one another.
But be warned, the knockout that occurred last weekend at Stichting MMA Nederland, in a fight between Wiebe Brouwer and Nick Gorissen, is perhaps the oddest physical reaction to a knockout that we have ever seen, combining the falling tree knockout with Stefan Struve’s Matrix-esque routine against Travis Browne at UFC 130. It will forever change your outlook on the game (?) of limbo, and may cause simultaneous bouts of hysterical laughter and horrified nausea. It did for the CP interns we forced to watch it on a 24 hour loop, anyway.
The beginning of the end comes around the 3:05 mark, when, after escaping an armbar that would have given Ronda Rousey a chick boner, Gorissen gets caught with a looping right hand that appears to liquefy his spine. He crashes to the mat, reminiscent of Zoila Gurgel vs. Rosi Sexton, and is luckily spared of any further punishment. Thank science Cecil Peoples wasn’t refereeing, or this video would have surely become Exhibit A in a future murder trial.
Absolutely brutal, ladies and gentlemen. It takes a few minutes before Gorissen is able to stand up, and a lot more before he is able walk away on his own power, but after that KO, we’re just happy that he could walk at all.