It takes about fifty seconds for this Sambo match to get started, but once it gets underway it isn’t long before someone catches the old head kick express bound straight for Concussionville. Once there he’ll be greeted by Mayor Memory Loss and the fine gentleman from the Chamber of Commerce, Mr. Brainbleeding. Come, let them take you on a tour of the town, from the Vertigo River to the Migraine district. Okay, this flight of fancy has officially gone too far, but I could only stare at the computer screen trying to come up with a Yakov Smirnoff Soviet Russia joke for so long before something in me just snapped.
The point is, they don’t play around in Sambo. Not only do you get dropped on a hard surface after your brutal head kick KO, you wake up to the sound of polite applause while some guy holds your feet in the air. I think I’ll stick with grappling tournaments, thanks.