Is there ANYTHING about this man that makes him unqualified to talk about the infinitely accelerating current of creativity? Didn’t think so.

If last night taught us anything, it’s that some things never change. Nick Diaz will be Nick Diaz. Kimbo Slice will crush cans. And literally anything that involves Bob Sapp will lack anything that resembles dignity. What a universe we live in.

But today is Mother’s Day, so I’m going to try to be somewhat positive for a few sentences. The good news to come out of this event is that Matt Horwich managed to snap a four fight skid with a third round TKO over Poland’s own Antoni Chmielewski, who was 22-8 coming into this fight. Horwich has always been an interesting character, sort of a non-juiced up hippy Ultimate Warrior. Even though he’s too crazy for most major promotions to take a chance on him (not to mention his pedestrian 27-21 record), he fits in just fine with KSW’s roster. That wouldn’t usually be intended as a compliment, but in whatever section of the multiverse Matt Horwich is from, it is.

Okay, positive sentences over. Time to talk about Bob Sapp vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski.

I think it’s safe to say that Bob Sapp can’t do anything right at this point in his career, except be a large, scary looking guy that has zero chance of winning and even less of a chance of hurting his opponent. At the weigh-ins, he put a picture of Pudzianowski on a (presumably uncooked) chicken. See, because he thinks Mariusz is “chicken”, get it? It’s not exactly the most clever way to mock someone- especially when you remember that Bob Sapp just tapped out to a double leg takedown- but he clearly put far more effort into that than he did training.

Perhaps it’s only because he was fighting Bob Sapp, but Mariusz seems to have made strides in his standup. I’m not saying he’s ready for legit competition or anything, but still, props to him for taking this fight seriously. You know the drill by now: Sapp gets caught, Sapp covers up and waits for the “fight” to end, the referee decides that the fight should stop before Bob Sapp actually takes some kind of damage (even though Pudzianowski initially doesn’t oblige), and then everyone is laughing and giving out bro-grabs afterwards, seemingly forgetting that Sapp was “out” just a few seconds ago.

As KSW likes to say, biznes jak zwykle. At least I think it’s them that says that.

Full Results

Mariusz Pudzianowski def. Bob Sapp via TKO, Round One
Mamed Khalidov def. Rodney Wallace via KO, Round One
Michal Materla def. Jay Silva via Majority Decision
Matt Horwich def. Antoni Chmielewski via TKO, Round Three
Aslambek Saidov def. Grigor Aschugbabjan via submission (Kimura), Round One
Marta Chojnoska def. Paulina Suska via submission (Scarf Hold Armlock), Round One
Borys Mankowski def. Marcin Naruszczka via Majority Decision