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Kyacey Uscola Nearly Lost His Manhood While Shooting TUF 11

(Yager went a bit overboard with the pranks by soaking Kyacey’s boxers in Alpo)

In the latest installment of The Ultimate Fighter 11 "The Aftermath" post-episode interview series Kyacey Uscola revealed that he was attacked by pit bulls while on a stroll outside the confines of the TUF house following his loss to Kris McCray and they nearly turned him into Cris Cyborg.

Stephan Bonnar: So Kyacey, after you got off the show you had a pretty interesting fight. This one was not with human beings, but rather with a couple pit bulls. What happened? 

Kyacey Uscola: I was walking up to the side of the (TUF) house — sort of along the road and these dogs sort of ran up on me and cornered me. I’m an idiot. I didn’t run when I should’ve ran, but I sort of just squared off with them. I sliced my hand open on one of their teeth. I got a chunk out of my shoulder, my hip, hamstring; the money one was that they bit through my urethra and I had to have a catheter for two weeks.

Bonnar: The tooth actually pierced through your penis?

Uscola: Yeah, all the way through.

Bonnar: It bit a hole in it?

Uscola: Yeah.

Bonnar: Holy shit. Now, at any point did you try choking the dog out were you just throwin’ strikes?

Uscola: I didn’t want to get on the ground with them. It was all sprawl and brawl, man.

Bonnar: So not too different from how you fight?

Uscola: Not much. These hooks that I was throwin’ were from the hip; everything was no technique, nothin’. Kicks, soccer kicks. 

Bonnar: Damn. So That was only about a month ago, correct?

Uscola: Yeah, a little over a month.

Bonnar: So how’s the recovery? 

Uscola: I’m gettin’ there.

Bonnar: You been able to train yet?

Uscola: Somewhat. About ten days ago. I’m gettin’ back into it.

Bonnar: What about you and the wifey?

Uscola: Actually, there was…uh…just easing back into to things.

Bonnar: Maybe start with some blumpkins.

Now, I heard that the UFC and SPIKE tightened up security since Jeremy Jackson hopped the wall on TUF 4 to meet up with a lifeguard he met at the pool at the Y, but pit bulls? 

What’s next, a shark filled moat around the compound?

Cagepotato Comments

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ghostboner- May 24, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Well it is definitely his name now. Kyacey "the Blumpkin" Uscola.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Blumpkin "The Pit Bull Prince Albert" Uscola

It has a nice ring to it. (No, not Nick Ring you homo-erotically obsessed preverts.)
El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Yeah I noticed that. I just didn't know what to do with that little tidbit of information.

then I looked at Kyacey's picture above and thought "Blumpkin"

This guy looks like a Blumpkin. Hell, it could be his name.

Try it for yourself.

ghostboner- May 24, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Nothing wrong with getting a surprise Prince Al. It could happen to anyone, cough who is on an Absinthe bender cough, just saying. So Bonnar really advised a blumpkin? Am I the only one who noticed Bonnar say blumpkin?
Sneaky Pete- May 24, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Whatever happened to that nine-year-old kid that choked out a pit bull a while ago? Dana White might want to keep his eye on him. His urethra is still intact. I'm just saying.
El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 12:22 pm
El Chihuahuacabra is an awesome name, and I'm pitching a script to the SyFy channel immediately.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 12:18 pm
@ Angry Wapner

Everybody knows when you fight in the dirt-floor rodeo circuit you have to BOOST your income somehow...

Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Jose "El Chihuahuacabra" Aldo

It has a nice ring to it. (No, not Nick Ring you homo-erotically obsessed preverts.)
Angry Whopper- May 24, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Why haven't a few obvious questions been asked, such as:

If it wasn't the TUF house or neighborhood, where was he?

What house was he walking along the side of?

Was it his own house, or that of someone he knew?

Was it the house of the pitbulls' owner?

What was his reason for being in that neighborhood?

Was he peeping into windows?

Now, I'm all about pit bull control in the same way that I'm all about gun control. Was Kyacey (why doesn't he go by his middle name?!) someplace he didn't belong?
El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 11:59 am
Because they know we won't turn around and boot them like we should.

I suppose if periodically we grabbed one chihuahua puppy out of a litter and punted it into the lower stratosphere, the rest would catch on pretty quick.

justscrappin- May 24, 2010 at 11:55 am
I'm a small guy...and most people accuse me of having a napolean complex..but I don't go looking for trouble...I just won't back down. These lil fuckers...will have someone walking away from them...not even confronting them...and will bite their achilles or whatever....pure cowardice.
El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 11:51 am
Yes, chihuahuas have the doggy equivalent of Little Man Syndrome.

I wouldn't be opposed to their total extinction as a species.
justscrappin- May 24, 2010 at 11:51 am
I remember hearing about a chihuahua impregnating a Rottweiler a few years ago...I wonder what that monstrosity looked like.
whitey- May 24, 2010 at 11:50 am
and i really fucking hate chihuahuas!
Knee 2 tha Face- May 24, 2010 at 11:49 am
You know Spencer Pratt could have taken them on unscathed! He's got a purple belt you know!
whitey- May 24, 2010 at 11:48 am
always eye gouge.
El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 11:47 am
And yet no one has taken the nickname "Pit Bull-sized Chihuahua".

Maybe Jose Aldo can use this next fight.
justscrappin- May 24, 2010 at 11:46 am girlfriend has a mexican rat. It's really protective of her daughter. I have a rotty puppy..and a Lab puppy..and when they come around to try to steal food..the chihuahua will bite the other dogs. Other then that though it's annoying. Like sometimes it will act scared...and then sometimes it will act like a hardass...and wait till someone is walking away and nip at their ankles. We hate it, but her daughter has grown attached..and she doesn't want to break her heart.
wifey- May 24, 2010 at 11:44 am
I see some comments of the week on this thread...

@drano - that shit actually made me lol, so thank you. I bet you're right about that too - I work in a vet's office and I can tell you, we love pitbulls. They are usually excellent dogs when well handled.

Dachschunds are allright, most of the time. Chihuahuas tho? Some scary mofos. We have way more extra small muzzles than any other size. If chihuahuas came in pit bull size, the world as we know it would end.
justscrappin- May 24, 2010 at 11:41 am
.......and a opportunistic nature.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 11:38 am
Well, I hope he's ashamed of himself because it's just too easy to take advantage of the mentally challenged. Especially if you have a jar of peanut butter.
justscrappin- May 24, 2010 at 11:33 am
Mr. misanth.....those weren't fingers.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 11:19 am
Yeah, I'm always getting my chaperon (read: retard-handler) laid. At least he lets me sniff his fingers when we get back in the van.

El Famous Burrito- May 24, 2010 at 11:06 am
It also works well with the ladies. Better by comparison mentality.

At least, I wish it did :(
Mr_Misanthropy- May 24, 2010 at 11:04 am
@ Le Fameux Beauriteaux

That's also a great strategy for dealing with angry bears, cougars, lions, tigers, crocodiles, anacondas, monitor lizards, rhinoceri, and the occasional Chupacabra. (Oh, I almost forgot pedophiles and rapists.)