Well it is definitely his name now. Kyacey “the Blumpkin” Uscola.

Blumpkin “The Pit Bull Prince Albert” Uscola

It has a nice ring to it. (No, not Nick Ring you homo-erotically obsessed preverts.)

Yeah I noticed that. I just didn’t know what to do with that little tidbit of information.

then I looked at Kyacey’s picture above and thought “Blumpkin”

This guy looks like a Blumpkin. Hell, it could be his name.

Try it for yourself.

Blumpkin.

Nothing wrong with getting a surprise Prince Al. It could happen to anyone, cough who is on an Absinthe bender cough, just saying. So Bonnar really advised a blumpkin? Am I the only one who noticed Bonnar say blumpkin?

Whatever happened to that nine-year-old kid that choked out a pit bull a while ago? Dana White might want to keep his eye on him. His urethra is still intact. I’m just saying.

El Chihuahuacabra is an awesome name, and I’m pitching a script to the SyFy channel immediately.

@ Angry Wapner

Everybody knows when you fight in the dirt-floor rodeo circuit you have to BOOST your income somehow…

Jose “El Chihuahuacabra” Aldo

It has a nice ring to it. (No, not Nick Ring you homo-erotically obsessed preverts.)

Why haven’t a few obvious questions been asked, such as:

If it wasn’t the TUF house or neighborhood, where was he?

What house was he walking along the side of?

Was it his own house, or that of someone he knew?

Was it the house of the pitbulls’ owner?

What was his reason for being in that neighborhood?

Was he peeping into windows?

Now, I’m all about pit bull control in the same way that I’m all about gun control. Was Kyacey (why doesn’t he go by his middle name?!) someplace he didn’t belong?

Because they know we won’t turn around and boot them like we should.

I suppose if periodically we grabbed one chihuahua puppy out of a litter and punted it into the lower stratosphere, the rest would catch on pretty quick.

I’m a small guy…and most people accuse me of having a napolean complex..but I don’t go looking for trouble…I just won’t back down. These lil fuckers…will have someone walking away from them…not even confronting them…and will bite their achilles or whatever….pure cowardice.

Yes, chihuahuas have the doggy equivalent of Little Man Syndrome.

I wouldn’t be opposed to their total extinction as a species.

I remember hearing about a chihuahua impregnating a Rottweiler a few years ago…I wonder what that monstrosity looked like.

and i really fucking hate chihuahuas!

You know Spencer Pratt could have taken them on unscathed! He’s got a purple belt you know!

always eye gouge.

And yet no one has taken the nickname “Pit Bull-sized Chihuahua”.

Maybe Jose Aldo can use this next fight.

Yup…my girlfriend has a mexican rat. It’s really protective of her daughter. I have a rotty puppy..and a Lab puppy..and when they come around to try to steal food..the chihuahua will bite the other dogs. Other then that though it’s annoying. Like sometimes it will act scared…and then sometimes it will act like a hardass…and wait till someone is walking away and nip at their ankles. We hate it, but her daughter has grown attached..and she doesn’t want to break her heart.

I see some comments of the week on this thread…

@drano – that shit actually made me lol, so thank you. I bet you’re right about that too – I work in a vet’s office and I can tell you, we love pitbulls. They are usually excellent dogs when well handled.

Dachschunds are allright, most of the time. Chihuahuas tho? Some scary mofos. We have way more extra small muzzles than any other size. If chihuahuas came in pit bull size, the world as we know it would end.

…….and a opportunistic nature.

Well, I hope he’s ashamed of himself because it’s just too easy to take advantage of the mentally challenged. Especially if you have a jar of peanut butter.

Mr. misanth…..those weren’t fingers.

Yeah, I’m always getting my chaperon (read: retard-handler) laid. At least he lets me sniff his fingers when we get back in the van.

It also works well with the ladies. Better by comparison mentality.

At least, I wish it did

@ Le Fameux Beauriteaux

That’s also a great strategy for dealing with angry bears, cougars, lions, tigers, crocodiles, anacondas, monitor lizards, rhinoceri, and the occasional Chupacabra. (Oh, I almost forgot pedophiles and rapists.)

Viva Hate, I thought it was something to do with Goulet, too when I saw the pit bull after a short glance. I though that The Pit Bull Mafia got their payback!

I can’t believe Bonnar tossed the “blumpkin” advice out there, too. haha.

@BigDummy Glad I’m not the only one who caught this. Figured I was in for some flaming for getting my facts wrong.

The piece needs a new punch line too: “Now, I heard that the UFC and SPIKE tightened up security since Jeremy Jackson hopped the wall on TUF 4 to meet up with a lifeguard he met at the pool at the Y, but pit bulls?”

There’s been some confusion – it was actually the pitbull – Thaigo Alves. He’s gone crazy since his brain operation…

…crazy gay.

I guess I took to long to type mine up Horror Fighter beat me to it by a couple minutes.

bouch42 Says:
Mon, 05/24/2010 – 13:46

I work in insurance and for an attack with half as much physical damage the lady was paid out 600k+ change. Kyacey hit the jackpot in vegas.

So Kyacey left Vegas with some extra money and a sore dick?

Sounds like a good time was had.

Then he boots Gilbert Grape in the back and lets him get mauled by the pit.

Excellent point, El Famous!

Retards, cripples, and fat kids > knives

Burrito is like…. ” come here timmy…pet the puppy.”

Just read the comments:

Props to all you knife carriers. Better to have and not need than need and not have. Just ask Kyacey’s whistle.

Not to be an ass but did you rip this transcript from the Underground?

Because someone posted this there and made the same mistake.

Just look at the very first quote by Bonnar and it tells you this did not happen during the filming of TUF and it did not happen at the TUF house.

“Stephan Bonnar: So Kyacey, after you got off the show you had a pretty interesting fight. This one was not with human beings, but rather with a couple pit bulls. What happened?”

See read that again. It plainly says after you got off the show. Meaning it DID NOT HAPPEN at the TUF house or during the filming of TUF.

I sure hope you correct this and fix the title.

A quick lesson in MMAth:

Pit bulls > Kyacey Uscola
Pit bulls < Jonathan Goulet

so...

Jonathan Goulet > Kyacey Uscola

I think we can clearly see Goulet would be the obvious favorite if this fight were to happen. Goulet by RNC.

The pits have probably been put down, which they should have been. Not that it’s the dogs fault, this is on the owner.

Kyacey will make more money from this incident then he will for his entire MMA career. Whoever owns the dogs will have their homeowners insurance liability maxed out on this claim. Given the neighborhood, they have at least 300k… Probably 500k in coverage. If they have an umbrella policy, Kyacey will be getting a chunck of that as well.

I work in insurance and for an attack with half as much physical damage the lady was paid out 600k+ change. Kyacey hit the jackpot in vegas.

He was able to drive them away with an illegal knee.

BTW — sauce?

If you copied this verbatim from UG, note that the poster is taking some flack for adding (TUF) to Kyacey’s quote — assuming it was the TUF house.

Consider Bonnar’s question: “So Kyacey, after you got off the show you had a pretty interesting fight. This one was not with human beings, but rather with a couple pit bulls. What happened?”

In other words, Kyacey was already off the show, meaning the dog attack never happened at the TUF house. The original response was most likely: “I was walking up to the side of the house — sort of along the road and these dogs sort of ran up on me and cornered me.”

This is exactly why I always travel with fat kids and the handicapped.

Yup..he obviously has no experience dealing with dogs. My father trained Rottweilers my whole life. He actually went to national schutzund competitions. The first thing he taught me is to stand your ground and not to run…cuz then they will definitely chase you and be even more apt to bite you. I also agree…the best thing to do is to shove your thumb in their eye..if you have no other choice but to confront them. Of course taking their back would be good…but only if there is only one.

Bonnar get his ass handed to him 80% less when he interviews rather than fights.

Kyacey had to repeatedly assure Nick Ring that the dog was not poisonous and there was no poison to suck out.

Kyacey has now been heard uttering the timeless quote: “How’s taste my pee pee?”

I have been blessed with the luxury of fighting a large dog before that tried attacking me and let me tell you a few things:

1. It has been years since and I still remember that fucker biting down on my forearm like it was yesterday. I cant imagine if it bit my junk.

2. One angry large dog is enough to deal with, choosing to square up against more than one was a mistake. Although it must be noted that running is begging them to chase you. If you run you better be running to someplace safe and really close.

3. Dont punch/kick. Dogs are like tanks, especially large ones. Poke/stab eyes or choke them. If needed sacrifice your forearm to their mouth so you can control them while you stab/poke/choke.

4. I have carried a pocket knife everyday since then. I will not hesitate to kill any dog that has bad intentions.

It would make sense..that he was attacked by WIENER DOGS!

knowing Kyacey and the way he talks alot badder than he fights, it was 2 overweight 13 year old dachshunds. His lack of skills and any means to protect himself he was fair game for the “dachshund gang”.

Hey man, things get a little boring when you’re cooped up in a house that long. Not everybody wants a piece of The Ring just because they’re on lockdown, so that leaves- animal life?

(I heard he looks pretty sexy with a mop on his head and some koolaid eyeshadow, however.)

Nice..I was thinking about that as well. One of my best friends younger brothers got that piercing…would knock on doors with it. It’s very disturbing though..thinking that they put a huge, hollow needle through your dick and leave a cylinder shaped piece of your junk on the table. Plus when you take the thing out you piss out of the top and bottom of your wang. MY HOSE HAS SPRUNG A LEAK!

Sounds like an elaborate cover story for an unfortunate incident involving a poodle and some peanut butter.

Did he drop a Prince Albert in there just because the opportunity had spontaneously presented itself?

his name is Kyacey, he hasn’t got the right to do SHIT.

Well..when there is more then one shit gets hectic. Other questions..who’s pits were they? Does he have the right to sue the owner’s?

The pitbulls were sending a message to Jonathan Goulet

Holy shit! I always thought a trained mma fighter would fare better in a dog attack. We got his list of injuries, what about the dogs? I wonder if he damaged any of them. I wanted more play by play on how it went down.

^ cosign on the knife carrying.

grew up in the ghetto – pits ALWAYS run loose.

might have to shank a bitch…. get it?

@Viva Hate – Is Nick Ring gay? How did you find this out?!?!

That’s one of the many reasons I ALWAYS carry a knife. I’ll gut a vicious pit bull that attacks without provocation just as fast as I’ll gut an angry crackhead that jumps me in a dark alley. I guarantee if he was throwing hooks with a blade shit would have been over faster. You can’t tell the cops you were going to use your glock to open packages.

In a related story Nick Ring actually nursed his mutilated piece back to good health.

Oh man..if the hole didn’t heal..he should have tapped his dick like a keg..and sold machida fresh draft piss.

gross