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Larry Merchant: Still Talking Out His Ass

(You know who’s lucky I don’t have a time machine? Those damn kids with their skateboards on my sidewalks!) 

When he’s not harassing fighters inside the ring or making up false claims about MMA promotions paying him 5 million dollars to attend an event, I’d like to imagine that Larry Merchant is playing Parcheesi in Boca Vista somewhere, just enjoying the fact that time travel doesn’t exist so he wouldn’t have to follow through on some of his outrageous claims. Well, I would be wrong in that assessment, because it turns out Merchant is far too busy talking out his ass at every possible opportunity to even have time for table based games of mental aptitude. In a recent interview with Boxing Scene, Merchant responded to Dana White’s claims that he was “senile” and “an embarrassment to HBO” with the following statement, which I can only assume took a fortnight to spit out:

“Let’s see, anyone who can make a multimillion dollar business out of street fighting has to be respected. My opinion is that anyone is allowed to put up a tent, put on a show, and invite people to come. And obviously he’s had a lot of success. Good for him. I don’t watch it. I don’t get a so-called sport in which you can have a 6-2 record and be called a world champion. I just don’t appreciate the finer points of MMA. It’s a free country. I’m a commentator, and if I’m commenting and observing on others than how can I not be open to others observing and commenting on me?”

Now, I can understand what Merchant is trying to say here, but to refer to MMA as street fighting immediately after witnessing one of the dirtiest finishes to a high profile boxing match in recent history seems a bit…douchey. Not to mention the fact that this is the same man who threatened to kick the winner of said boxing match’s ass just moments after the fight was over. Stay classy, Larry.

-Danga

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jaijaikk- September 27, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Sex tool for sell that you will like them ,welcome to http://dv.gd/eky
fatbellyfrank- September 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm
@danga, ever get one of those days where you wonder why the fuck you bothered getting out of bed?
fatbellyfrank- September 27, 2011 at 4:28 pm
one of my favourite series..."Fisting the Furious" 1-5
El Guapo- September 27, 2011 at 2:14 pm
That taco better smell pretty damn good, Birdman.
----------------------------------------------------
Also, BG always struck me as the refined, classical type. Thus, pretty sure his favorite is "The Cunt of Maggie Christo".
Kimbos Bread- September 27, 2011 at 1:30 pm
The Italian blowjob
Wet dreams may come
Butt pirates of the Carribean

My captcha says "nutsack Hon.". I shit you not.
Fried Taco- September 27, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Don't forget Timmy's fave, "Let's Play Stain the Cage"!
.
and I think myklhoey is getting horny, the first word in my Captcha is "tail!" (exclamation point included).
ArmFarmer- September 27, 2011 at 1:04 pm
So who is it that doesn't know the difference between then and than? Danga, or Merchant?
KINGMADE- September 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm
Don't leave out BG's favorite. Saving Ryan's Privates.

Captcha Ratzel, uldnfee
RSparrow- September 27, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Honey, I blew the kids
Kimbos Bread- September 27, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Oh let's not forget about:

The Red eye diaries
When the milk man cummeth,
One flew over the bushy nest,
Livin lavita hooker
RSparrow- September 27, 2011 at 12:18 pm
And El Guapo's favorite: Yo Quero Taco Smell. And RWilsons favorite: Moulin Spooge. And drano's: I know what you put up the Bummer... and..
Kimbos Bread- September 27, 2011 at 12:12 pm
@RSparrow

What about other classic titles suck as:

Fantastic Foursome
Deliveries at the back door
Position Impossible
And the revered, America's got Talented Hoes.
macreadysshack- September 27, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I'm with most of you guys here . . . That was actually a pretty fair and coherent statement made by Merchant.
.
I like Danga. I do, however, believe that this one is a stretch into the knee-jerk of dogma approach to reason.
El Guapo- September 27, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Let's not forget RSparrow AKA The Birdman's favorite, "To Kill A Mockingbird(by Skullfking it to Death)"
RSparrow- September 27, 2011 at 12:02 pm
And Karma's number one: White men can hump
RSparrow- September 27, 2011 at 11:59 am
And Rex's all time favorite: How Stella Got Her Tubes Packed
RSparrow- September 27, 2011 at 11:58 am
No way bro, it was because of this spam that I was able to find my Necrophylian Bukake Volume 6. Instant classic
Jugger- September 27, 2011 at 11:44 am
He condemns "street fighting". He condemned Mayweather's (legal) cheap shot. He seems pretty consistent to me.

There are reasons to not like this guy. The reason stated in this article is not one of them.

CP, Captcha wanted me to type in "idomen quick," in order to post this comment (fortunately there is a "I can't read what the hell that says, gimme another one" button). Please figure something else out and ditch Captcha. Besides, with all the XXX DVDs and Gucci jeans being peddled in the comments, I'm not sure captcha is even working.
RwilsonR- September 27, 2011 at 11:36 am
I think Larry Merchant is a senile old coot, but I found nothing wrong with his statement. MMA will never be all things to all people, and Merchant freely admits he doesn't appreciate the finer points of MMA, which explains him ignorantly calling it street fighting. He doesn't like it, so he doesn't watch it. That's fine with me. Also, he even goes further to be open to criticism since it is his job to critique others. Give the man credit for not being a hypocrite.
his dudeness- September 27, 2011 at 10:51 am
this is a pretty pathetic article.

If you have nothing better to write about than to post an article attacking a senior citizen for a statement he made defending himself, don't bother writing.

Larry Merchant is a long time boxing commentator and sport journalist. He handled a very childish Mayweather reasonably well, all things considered and came up with a sound bit that has brought boxing loads of press.

If all that previous stuff was too difficult to understand:

The man was doing his job.
El Guapo- September 27, 2011 at 10:44 am
And for your information, it wasn't just any title... punk!
It was the UFC HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!
Some people, man, I tells ya..
El Guapo- September 27, 2011 at 10:39 am
6-2 record my ass! Brock was 3-1 when he won the title, chump. GET IT RIGHT!
Kimbos Bread- September 27, 2011 at 10:32 am
Swimsuit Larry makes a fair point.
HardKnockLife- September 27, 2011 at 10:06 am
Seems like a pretty fair statement from the old dude... DW rips him for being senile and the best you can hold against Marchant is a 'street fighter' reference, I gotta say that seems level-headed and I would also say pretty 'classy'.
Gobbleston- September 27, 2011 at 9:54 am
Come on now, we don't know what kind of shape Danga might be in. For all we know, the old coot has the advantage.

Well, Danga would probably just resort to his filthy street fighting tactics anyways.
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