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The Procrastinating Fight Fan’s Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

(“One minute, mom. I’m just getting your gift out of my closet.”)

If you’re like us, you likely haven’t started Christmas, Festivus, Hannukah or Kwanza shopping yet since it isn’t December 24.

There’s nothing worse than that embarrassed feeling you get when a friend or family member shows up at your house unannounced, bearing gifts, and you wrap up one of your half-full bottles of hand lotion or an old alarm clock in newspaper and hope they don’t notice that you forgot to buy them something.

We’ve done you a solid this year, Potato Nation, and compiled a list of awesome last-minute gifts you can pick up and have on hand in case someone actually buys you something worth more than a slightly stained coffee mug with your initials on it. The beauty of these presents is that they’re actually items that you can keep for yourself if nobody pays you a holiday visit.

Check them out after the jump.

No Mas’ Chuck Wepner Signature Tee ($34)

Chuck Wepner was an unlikely working class hero who, at the age of 36, nearly went the distance with Muhammad Ali, knocking the boxing legend down in the ninth round of their 1975 title fight with a surprise right that sprawled the champ on his back. The Bayonne, New Jersey native, who inspired Sylvester Stallone to pen Rocky, went toe-to-toe with the man formerly known as Cassius Clay, earning him a legion blue collar fans.

Why it’s cool: The shirt is a near perfect replica of the one Wepner wore while training in the Catskills for the Ali fight.

Who to buy it for: Any fight or Rocky fan on your list, including your old man, your best friend and that brunette from 3B who keeps telling you she’ll have to come over some time and watch a fight with you on your new 60″ plasma she saw you struggling out of the elevator with.

Where to get it: Order it online HERE or check out some of No Mas’ other cool shirts like the PRIDE Japan or the Irish Mickey Ward Signature Tee (pictured below).




Headblade S4 Eclipse ($99)

When it comes to shaving heads, Headblade is the Rolls Royce of chrome domes. Whether you’re losing your feathers up top and are finally coming to terms with it or you want to look tough like Vin Diesel, do yourself a favor and pick one of these bad boys up. Your scalp will thank us later.

Why it’s cool: This razor looks like a cross between a Mad Max vehicle and a custom chopper.

Who to buy it for:  Your buddy who thinks that an expertly coiffed mohawk will disguise his thinning crown or your teammate who grinds his stubbly head into your face during jiu-jitsu class. Maneuvering one of these sleek stainless-steel dynamos is just as easy in the shower as it is in front of a mirror thanks to a pair of rear wheels and a rubberized handle. There’s no more discreet way to tell your dad to say no to the combover than to pop one of these little beauties in his stocking. You can always say Santa did it.

Where to get it: You can find it at select shaving specialty and drug stores or you can order it HERE. For those of us on a budget, you can pick up one of their basic plastic models for around $15.


TrauMMA Combat Roots Shirt

The roots of MMA go back thousands of years and intertwine through several countries and disciplines of fighting arts. The TrauMMA Combat Roots shirt pays subtle homage to the history of fighting.

Why it’s cool: This is probably one of the least offensive MMA shirts on the market. There are no chains, no frothy-mouthed pitbulls and no religious statues — just a simple design that’s open to interpretation the way a good design should be.

Who to buy it for: Anyone on your list who enjoys MMA, but hates douchey MMA clothing. If he or she has fashion taste that’s “arrogant and in your face, “this isn’t the shirt for them.

Where to buy it: Order it online HERE.


Hayabusa Kanpeki Shorts ($69)

If you’re looking for a functional and durable pair of training and fight shorts that don’t look like cheap board shorts with a logo slapped on the side, the Kanpeki series from Hayabusa is for you. Subtle and well made, these shorts are some of the nicest we’ve seen.

Why they’re cool: Hayabusa’s Kanpeki elite series product line offers some of the plushest equipment around, including soft top grain leather constructed gloves and protective gear. These shorts feature an innovative tie system with indestructible webbing that makes for a distinct customized fit. Their exclusive mechanical PolyDirectional™ stretch fabric, Guardlock™ inner grip waistband system, reinforced T3 stitching,  high tensile strength stretch panel and split side seams combine to create a fight short that is equal parts strength, durability, comfort and functionality.

Where to get them: Select MMA equipment outlets including Sport Chek and National Sports in Canada, as well as online via sites like


Jim Beam Devil’s Cut 90 Proof Bourbon ($24 for 750ml)

Jim Beam’s latest whiskey is made by emptying barrels of six-year Bourbon, extracting the remaining liquid from the wood of the cask and adding it to the new Devil’s Cut recipe. The result is a strong aromatic caramel-colored whiskey with wood and vanilla notes.

Why it’s cool: Did you read how this is made? And what’s not cool about bourbon?

Who to buy it for: You can pretty much give this to anyone, but we suggest keeping it for yourself to help you better deal with your annoying relatives over the holidays.

Where to get it: At any liquor store that carries Jim Beam products.


And last, but certainly not least…

The CagePotato MMA Hairstyles T-Shirt ($22)

Trust us, there’s no better conversation starter than one of these beauties, and if a girl doesn’t know any of the faceless MMA memes on the shirt, you don’t want to know her. It’s basically a pre-date application. You’re welcome.

Why it’s cool: Do we even need to say?

Where to get one: Buy it online HERE.


  1. skeletor Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 05:38

    Just wondering if you guys no where to get a sense of humor, I was looking for one for IronClad. Along with a Sherdog account where other people get extremely butt hurt over the slightest bit of "fighter bashing".
  2. itsgalf Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 05:49

    I think they're all sold out this year, skeletor. It was a hot item on Black Friday. I pepper sprayed some old lady in the face in order to get one for my co-worker.
  3. Holiday Gift Guide 2011: FurReal Friends Cookie My Playful Pup Value Pack with My First Purse Bundle a Girls Dream Gift | Christmas Gift Ideas Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 06:20

    [...] feeling you get when a friend or family member shows up at your house unannounced, …  More like this  51 minutes [...]
  4. Viva Hate Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 07:10

    You guys forgot Xeno's Guide to Knowing Everything About Nothing.
  5. mattleung Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 07:29

    that mma roots shirt is amazing. the pride one is good too.
  6. nickyroose Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 08:00

    viva *and being absolutely confident in nothing. Chucky Weps is the old man's hero. fuck yeah. Should I put CP in the discount field so you fuckers get credit for the link or something?
  7. GistoftheFist Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 08:29

    I suppose these are better than the spambot's Boxing UFC Top Sex
  8. Mike Russell Says:

    Tue, 12/13/11 - 08:45

    Nah, Nicky. Hope your old man enjoys it.
  9. winklepicker Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 05:14

    Does anyone even proofread these articles anymore?
  10. Phatdan78 Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 05:36

    I thought for sure the price of the Headblade was a mistake. $100 for a shitty razor? Perhaps a little steep. The Wepner, Mickey Ward and Hair styles shirts are awesome.
  11. shitbag Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 05:56

    That Mickey Ward shirt looks great, they need to do a similar one for Gatti and sell them both as a package deal. And I actually like that MMA shirt, for once. Fuck gifts, I'm buying for myself.
  12. Kimbos Bread Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 06:31

    I got a great deal on a sense of humor off eBay. But it was shipped from China so it turned out to be a bad sense of humor. I guess this site's been using the same supplier.
  13. KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 08:17

    That Mickey Ward shirt is badass.....if it was about 20 bucks cheaper...I know you have to cover the insane overhead of a blank t-shirt, a transfer and a heat press but come on
  14. XENOPHON Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 01:26

    @Viva Hate . Just how many pseudonyms do you and the rest of the CP pussies use on a daily basis.... . I bet there are about two dozen legit people posting, and 50 plus aliases used by the 5 or 7 Cage Potato writers. . ...and back stabbing little cunt....
  15. Mike Russell Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 03:41

    And right on cue Xeno shows up with another conspiracy theory. Hopefully you get a new tinfoil hat this Christmas. The old one is all out of ideas.
  16. XENOPHON Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 04:02

    . Your nose has stopped glowing Rudolph red, and is Pinocchio pink.... . Put the usual suspects into one room and watch what happens. The guilty one is the first to speak up. . Come on Mike Russell, you expect people hear to believe that of all the staff and occasional writers who post articles here, that Cage Potato is any different from any other MMA website???
  17. Mike Russell Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 04:43

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but we have better things to do with our time than argue with ourselves in the comment section. What's amazing is that you claim to know how "all MMA websites operate." Are you Jeff Sherwood?
  18. XENOPHON Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 05:17

    No bubbles burst. This is a simple discussion board. . You act like as if you've never heard of a online writer (or a overzealous newbie grad student) who posts opinion/articles on MMA websites, but gets soured-up fast when people do not like his work (Example Danga) and dog em out repeatedly??? . Nor do I find it easy to believe your virgin ears have never heard of the soured-up writer who uses a anonymous user account to poke and prod the discussion, or counter attack his critics? . Do you believe or think for one minute that bankers, politicians, and stock-traders tell the truth, or do you? . Since your in the MMA business, please inform us that the UFC does not use paid fluffers to ensure their brand, executives image, and fighters are not shown in anything but the most positive light on Twitter, in the media or in chat rooms (like CP) ??? . The UFC/Zuffa cluster fuck receives $100M per year from Fox. This is up from the $35M per year they lifted from Spike. You might have some inside knowledge of the events taking place in MMA, but I have to ask aloud...did you really just say/ask me that? . And you wonder why most Americans clown on Canadian's.... . Russell, I don't mind people fucking with me, or me fucking with them...but I did not take you for a fool?
  19. Links Away: Guy Pearce Being A Badass…Extended | Find the stream — Vind de stream Says:

    Wed, 12/14/11 - 06:33

    [...] A Procrastinators Gift Guide (CagePotato) [...]
  20. fhfghf Says:

    Fri, 12/16/11 - 06:43

    Happy 2012 new year,Merry Christmas ,Christmas top gift
  21. Knockout of the Holiday Season: Adam Aliev wins via first round Tornado Kick | Sports News | Fan Favorites | Fav Pics Says:

    Mon, 12/26/11 - 12:58

    [...] Cage Potato staff plans on doing. You know, maybe you can talk to your family or friends today. Or exchange gifts. Whatever works for [...]
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  24. cat 4 brother Says:

    Mon, 01/19/15 - 12:40

    The Birch of the Shadow... I think there may perhaps become a handful of duplicates, but an exceedingly useful list! I have tweeted this. Lots of thanks for sharing!...

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