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Lavar Johnson Joins the Ever-Growing List of UFC Washouts to Be Signed By Bellator

(Don’t worry, Brendan, you’re not far behind. Photo via Getty.)

I think I’m officially done giving a shit about Bellator, you guys.

I know, I’m sure Bjorn will be crushed to hear this news, but it has become more and more apparent as of late that Bellator has absolutely no f*cking idea what they are doing — it’s as if they’ve adopted hypocrisy as a business model. The dichotomy that exists between what Bjorn & the Boys (new band name, called it) say they are doing and what they are actually doing is f*cking infuriating, but today, I’m metaphorically tying my bedsheets into a noose and hanging myself before Bellator can check on me again, for it is the only way to escape this prison I have allowed myself to be placed in.

Whereas Bellator originally understood their role as an original, albeit secondary MMA promotion that delivered free, entertaining cards featuring up-and-coming talent and the occasional star (which, oddly enough, has become the UFC’s business model), it seems that nowadays they are truly content with reheating the UFC’s leftovers and having the audacity to charge us for it. Hence why they’ve recently signed such UFC washouts as Cheick Kongo and now Lavar Johnson to compete in their upcoming heavyweight tournament. Look forward to seeing these two throw down on Bellator’s next PPV card, Shamrock vs. Ortiz IV: BITTERER RIVALS.

If you ask me, Bellator’s fall from grace started with Fight Master. F*cking Fight Master. The moment that TUF-ripoff was announced was the moment that they officially gave up trying to differentiate themselves from the UFC and entered stage 1 of Kubler-Ross model: Denial. Or in their case, the “Hey, you remember these guys, right?” stage. While Bellator continues to deny that they are simply snatching up UFC/Strikeforce castaways in the hope of “stacking” their upcoming cards with “recognizable talent,” that’s exactly what they’re doing.

Cheick Kongo. Lavar Johnson. Freaking Brett Rogers and Houston Alexander. What in the hell are these guys thinking? That anyone who knows dick about MMA will actually tune in to watch a bunch of proven has-beens (most of whom have either failed drug tests or faced criminal charges since leaving the UFC) or never-will-bes throw down for a now meaningless belt? Or that casual MMA fans will cancel their plans to watch that one guy they saw fight in the UFC once fight that guy with the funny nickname and no ground game?

Sure, Bellator still has a couple of guys who could pose some legitimate threats were they to face actual competition, but they’ve done their best to f*ck up their careers as well. Like I said, it’s infuriating.

I get it, playing second fiddle sucks. But playing second fiddle sure beats trying to outdo a promotion you stand no chance of outdoing, especially when your plan of attack consists of purchasing all your rivals old stock. It would be like if Greyhound starting advertising on the sides of Megabuses.

So yeah, I just can’t anymore with Bellator. They’ve obviously stopped giving a shit about the direction they are headed, so why should we? Good luck, Michael. Hopefully you can come out of this mess unscathed. Our bet is that you won’t.

At least the WSOF knows their role.

-J. Jones

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