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Leben: DUI Arrest ‘Not a Big Deal,’ Compares Self to Former President of United States

("My fellow Americans …" Props: MMA

Try not to look too shocked, y’all: Chris Leben went on Ariel Helwani’s "The MMA Hour" radio show yesterday and made a number of incredible statements about his October arrest on suspicion of drunk driving in Hawaii. And when we say “incredible,” we mean it in the most literal sense, as in, not credible. Among other things, Leben said he doesn’t believe his latest DUI arrest is “going to be a big deal,” that “nothing is going to happen with it” and – if you want to know the truth – he’s not 100 percent sure he’ll even be formally charged with DUI after the truth comes out at his upcoming February court date. Oh, and he also compared himself to the former president of the United States.

"George (W.) Bush got a DUI and he ended up being the president," Leben said. "I really feel as though nothing’s really going to happen with it, honestly. I don’t want to talk about it too much, and it’s still in the works. But I don’t think it’s going to be a big deal."

Obviously, Leben comparing himself to the leader of the free world – even a really, really bad one – is a bit of a stretch. Also, forgive us here at CagePotato Legal Services if we can’t take such an optimistic view of his upcoming court appearance. Let’s review some facts.

As we all know, Leben has already served time in Oregon for a previous DUI and subsequent probation violation. We gotta think the Hawaii court isn’t going to look favorably on a potential two-time DUI loser drinking and driving at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday morning in their state and then crashing his truck into a retaining wall on the freeway without a license or any kind of insurance. If you’re the prosecutor, this case seems to sort of make itself. On the bright side for the defense, Leben reports that he refused to take a Breathalyzer, so who knows how much actual evidence the state will have that the highly-publicized drunkard was legally drunk at that exact moment. Who knows, maybe he has a shot of getting this dismissed or just pleaded down. However, if he’s planning to go to court and offer up an explanation as lame as the one he gave Helwani yesterday, we do not like his chances.

Now, as you read Leben’s own extremely shaky account of events, we just want you to keep repeating the following words in your mind: 2 a.m. on a Tuesday … crashed on the freeway … 2 a.m. on a Tuesday …  crashed on the freeway …

"I’d bought a new truck, and I had never drove a truck before,” Leben said. “It had just rained. Apparently I stepped on the gas a little too hard so I kind of slid out and hit the embankment of the highway, and the cops were working right there, so they saw me …

"Somebody told me, you know, you’re not supposed to blow (into a Breathalyzer) if you get pulled over. I don’t know, I guess my lawyer says that’s not necessarily the case now, but I didn’t blow. I didn’t take the test, just because I know that in Hawaii (the legal blood-alcohol limit is) .05 (but) if there’s an accident, it’s not even .08, so it’s super-duper low. I definitely wasn’t hammered, but I was definitely in the wrong. I didn’t blow so, you know, who knows what’s going to happen now."

To us, Leben’s comments raise even more questions than we had about this incident before: First off, how did Leben even buy a new truck and drive it off the lot with no license and/or insurance? We have “friends” who’ve tried that and the shit don’t work. Second, who are these people he’s training with in Hawaii who allow recovering alcoholic and fairly well known UFC fighter Chris Leben to even come out drinking with them? And then let him get behind the wheel?

As for comparing yourself to George W. Bush? That’s just never a good idea, even when using him as an example of what’s possible for habitual substance abusers. Granted, now that we think about it there are some similarities: Both Bush and Leben love to party and both are fond of going on television and making outlandish statements: Leben about Anderson Silva and the competition in Japan; Bush about yellow cake uranium and weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Leben admitted that he has "kind of messed up" by continually putting his already extremely unlikely UFC career in jeopardy with his own bad behavior. As it stands however, he will still appear as scheduled in the “co-main event” of UFC 125 against Brian Stann. Bush meanwhile says he has a “clear conscience,” even after telling lies to the American people to start a war and then using his own irresponsible policies to cause the largest economic crisis in 70-plus years, only to have much of the public inexplicably blame it on the next guy.

Cagepotato Comments

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Red Baron- December 22, 2010 at 11:02 am
I don't need the last word; you have me confused with someone else.
cecils_pupils- December 22, 2010 at 9:31 am
Dammit - I wanted to get the last word in... clearly that will not happen this time, amirite?
Red Baron- December 22, 2010 at 7:41 am
Are you coming on to me again, Cecil? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've told you already that I don't swing that way.
cecils_pupils- December 22, 2010 at 7:38 am
^^^then stop arguing and go take your nap little boy.
Red Baron- December 22, 2010 at 6:19 am
CWR, "highly productive pearl factory?" Where'd you cut & paste that from? Since basic math is probably not your thing, scroll up to see that a very high percentage of posters are opposed to politics on an MMA site.

I feel like I'm arguing that 2+2=4.
cwr- December 22, 2010 at 6:00 am
@Red Baron

Quit your bitching, man. You are exposing yourself as a highly productive pearl factory. If you hate the commentary on this site as much as you claim, and if CP is really alienating you with their hidden leftist agenda, then just leave.
Red Baron- December 22, 2010 at 4:40 am
Ascerendant, I suspect you say "is beyond me" so frequently, you probably have hotkeys assigned to it.

I further suspect that the only reason you typed the above collection of rambling incohereance is because you too are a flaming libtard. Ok, now go ahead and say the obligatory "I voted for Reagan." I don't buy it.

Are you so dense that you think what CP does here qualies as journalism? Get real. And if it did qualify, journalism and suicide aren't one and the same - journalism doesn't require the writer to shoot himself in the foot, and run off half his audience, in the quest toward "not giving a shit" what readers think. That's just plain stupid.

Cage Potato would do well to listen to their readers. It would be one thing if 1 or 2 readers said they were annoyed with their political crap, but numerous of them have said to knock it off. Ignoring that isn't journalism, it's stupidity. Your advice is stupid. It's very likely you're stupid.

Journalism is not immune to the laws of business. If CP writers are so enamored with their own snideness and the necessity of it, that creates a business vacuum that someone will fill. Someone will come along and build a site that is the way CP used to be, and then CP writers can continue to write to their 7 likeminded leftist readers and pretend they're upholding journalistic integrity.
Ascerendant- December 22, 2010 at 12:11 am
I loved the political commentary in this. Keep it up CP. Don't let the stupid people win.

It is beyond me by the way how anybody can defend idiocy as the one spewed by RedBaron. This site is not going "downhill" because it ties in political criticism or does not share someones political agenda. This site is GREAT if it doesn't give a shit and simply says what the authors believe should be said regardless of whether or not it may cost them a few readers. True journalism is about just that: tell your story, send your message, spread the truth and don't give a fuck about whose sensitivities may speak against it. Not pampering your audience is a good thing. You may say "Yeah, but I only want my MMA here, nothing else. These politics are none of their business!". But then go to one of the millions of other sites out there that will be nice and inoffensive and write only what they think will garner the love of the community. The attitude behind this article is exactly what makes CP great.
cecils_pupils- December 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm
oh... and did I mention that Leben has a huge fuckin' skull?
LOKI- December 21, 2010 at 6:19 pm
...I kinda hate Armenians.
twoleftfeet- December 21, 2010 at 5:33 pm
baron, I was trying to say that maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive about politics here. I've read racist, homophobic, and. religious intolerance on here. if these guys are as liberal as you fear they are that ship wouldn't fly.
cecils_pupils- December 21, 2010 at 5:25 pm
The last time I heard this much whining I was in the nursery at the hospital.
Red Baron- December 21, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Bryan, you may have missed my mea culpa. My sentiment stands, however. The posts above should be all the clues needed for the heretofor clueless CP staff, that their constant political crap is highly irritating to a lot of their viewers.

If CP's business model is so rock solid that they can afford to alienate the very people who make this site financially viable by buying Corona Beer, and Nikon cameras, then my 31 years in business has taught me nothing. Which, is possible.

On the other hand, maybe Cage Potato is owned by the bratty kid of some tycoon and, like Paris Hilton, he gets to act like a spoiled brat and have the usual rules of life not apply to him.
klpii- December 21, 2010 at 5:00 pm
I've had enough with CP and its' douchebag liberal writers. I used to come here to read about MMA, but it seems they just can't help but throw a political opinion or two in there about 25% of the time. Little advice, CP: Leave your bullshit politics out of your articles, ditch the fanboy geeks you have writing your articles and get some real journalists. (Maybe a few who have actually participated in some sort of atheltic venture in their lives!). If you do that then maybe I'll consider coming back to your website. But this is an absolute joke and I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Enjoy the loss of hits to your site, jerkoffs!
BryanF- December 21, 2010 at 4:56 pm
@Red Baron
Didn't you say you were leaving? I mean, you do THIS every article.
Red Baron- December 21, 2010 at 3:42 pm
"for some reason nothing else generates this much whining."

There's a pretty damn good reason not to do it right there. Unless of course, CP gets the goofy notion that gratuitously pissing of the people who pay their bills is somehow a good idea. Maybe crapping in your own nest is a cool thing to do in Canuckia, but down here in the lower 48 it's considered the domain of the incurably stupid.

I don't want to "knock Pelosi" or defend Bush; I do that on The Blaze and other forums where political banter is expected. So, y'all can keep defending stupidity if you want, we're just trying to give you somer friendly advice on how not to ruin this place.
twoleftfeet- December 21, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Uhh, did I miss something here? The story is about leben comparing himself to bush. How are funny comments about bush off topic? Baron, I don't think you have to tip toe here. If you don't want to talk politics don't. Nobody said you have to defend george bush. If you want you can try to tie a Pelosi joke to one of the stories. I've read plenty of stuff people could take offense to here if they are so inclined, but for some reason nothing else generates this much whining.
Jugger- December 21, 2010 at 2:49 pm
MMA = Cornflakes
Politics = Piss (regardless of which way you lean)

Mixture of MMA and Politics = Ew.

I think this website is still cool. But, I will chime in with Mr. Baron that it isn't what it used to be.

RwilsonR- December 21, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Honestly, I am never one to say this site is going down hill, or whatever. I thought Fowlkes was a little more manly looking than MRuss and handled criticism better, but oh fucking well. However, Rex can give Dundas props for trolling with politics, but I don't think this site should be about trolling to piss people off on a topic outside of MMA. Troll all you want about MMA, however.

I know everyone will jump al over Red Baron, but he has a point about purposely alienating half of your audience.
jeffmcbusa- December 21, 2010 at 2:15 pm
@cagepotato: Stick to MMA. You and the liberal media continue to spin your bullshit. The Brits, half the Arab countries and the country where the yellow cake was supposed to have been gotten all reported it was purchased in Africa. President Bush caused the financial meltdown? Even after he continually warned the Democratically controlled house and Senate that the Banks were out of control, that new regulations were needed to control the sub-prime loans, congress told him to butt out. That is historical fact. Fuckin liberals are such lying, whiny bitches!!!!! I enjoy some MMA related posts here but I just cringe every time one of you idiots open your mouth to spew your bullshit. Check your facts and try getting your politics from somewhere other than MSNBC, CNN or the Huffington Post! Oh but you are only an internet site so I guess I shouldn't expect more. FUUUUCCCCKKK! See ya!! I'm out
Red Baron- December 21, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I'm serious you guys, I'll leave!!! :-)

Ok, temper tantrum over now.

Seriously, this was a great site once - I guaran-damn-tee you there are at least 15 guys here who I told about CP, and then however many they brought here. It's lost it's zing and 90% of the reason, at least to me, is because the morons running the show now insist on bringing politics where it doesn't fit.

I have to tip-toe around political crap every day in my business, the last thing I want to do is engage in a debate about Bush on a site where I come to get away from it all and talk about MMA.

And whomever said CP yaks about boths sides is dead wrong. In the last month I've seen 10+ references to republicans and/or Bush (who has been out of politics for 2 years) and not a single negative comment about that moronic monkey Obama. Both sides my ass.
Videodrome_NOW- December 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm
See CP, you should have listened to my Flaccid-Wang-Elitist-Video-Club suggestion, then we could listen to everyone's comments and guage them accordingly to their Tattoed Penises.

Obviously no judgement in your comment, genius.

"Keep politics out of MMA." This isn't church. It's a fucking website that most of you stupid fucks were never invited to in the first place. You should have to pay to have a damn voice on this site because the only thing going downhill about it are the wastes of flesh that continually show up here and act like they fuckin own the place.

Ha. You are totally redeemed from a previous Tito comment grudge I was holding against you. Leben/Paul is great for alcoholics and weed smokers alike.
nickyroose- December 21, 2010 at 1:22 pm
@ Kid Clam -- true true.

Long time listener long time, commentator.

Who are you fucks? Not the regulars but the guys who probably registered just to say "Keep my feelings out of it!!"

Go elsewhere.
cecils_pupils- December 21, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Oh and Chris Leben has a big fuckin' skull, perhaps even bigger than Tito's.
Smitty- December 21, 2010 at 1:18 pm
@ Perma
If this is your first time loggin on, how do you know they know about half of is some of the time. Dick weed!