Like a Boss: Reliving Eight of the Greatest Walk-Off Submissions

Josh Burkman’s incredible and somewhat controversial (MAZZAGATTI!!) walk-off submission of the nearly-unsubmittable Jon Fitch at WSOF 3 (video here) may be old news by this point, but it’s been keeping us up nights here at CagePotato ever since. Not because of how shocking or unpredictable it was, but because we couldn’t honestly recall the last time we saw a fighter act as judge, jury, executioner and medieval corpse disposer during his own fight.

The walk-off knockout, while equally entertaining and respectable, is a lot easier to come by based on its definition alone. The walk-off submission, however, is an entirely different beast, so let’s take a look back at eight classic examples of this phenomenon (in no particular order) to honor those who were actually able to pull it off. Enjoy.

Royce Gracie vs. Art Jimmerson – UFC 1

Ah yes, the very first walk-off submission in UFC History. In every sense of the word.

To recount the story of the very first UFC event would be a disservice to as learned an audience as you Taters, but suffice it to say, it was a clusterfuck. Sumo wrestlers getting their teeth kicked out by savateurs 1/3rd their size, future professional wrestlers breaking street fighters legs with whatever the hell “submissions” were supposed to be…it was a mess. But at the center of the chaos was a man with a modest goal: Proving that he was the best fighter (with the best fighting style) on the entire goddamned planet. That man was Royce Gracie, and his first step toward immortality came in the form of a guy wearing one boxing glove and some sick Nikes.

You know how the story goes, Gracie took Jimmerson down and mounted him almost immediately. Completely out of his element and likely believing that the man on top of him was about to rape his bellybutton, Jimmerson tapped. The tap was so baffling that neither Gracie nor the ref truly knew what had happened, but after a moment to clarify that yes, Jimmerson was getting far too old for this shit, Royce stood up and walked away, his first UFC victory secured. To this day, the referee involved has no idea what the f*ck went down that night.

Jon Jones vs. Lyoto Machida – UFC 140

Otherwise known as the walk-off submission that did not get Jon Jones some fans, Bones’ guillotine of Lyoto Machida at UFC 140 was a work of cold-blooded perfection. Having arguably lost the first round of his UFC career, Jones caught Lyoto coming in with a beautifully timed left hand late in the second. The light heavyweight kingpin then snatched up the choke and pressed Machida against the fence, utilizing the almighty power of the fulcrum to put the Brazilian out on his feet.

It was a finish made all the more impressive when you consider that “The Dragon” is a Jiu-Jitsu black belt himself who had never been submitted in his previous 19 contests. Yet Jones was able to choke him unconscious with what appeared to be minimal effort, then drop him to the canvas like a bag of piss-stained bed sheets. Not bad for a guy who claims that Jiu-Jitsu is his “weakness.”

Nate Diaz vs. Kurt Pellegrino – Ultimate Fight Night 13

Otherwise known as the most Diazian submission in the history of the brothers Diaz.

After securing the TUF 5 plaque by successfully disabling Manny Gamburyan‘s shoulder with a set of nunchucks backstage at the season finale (you didn’t know about that?), the younger Diaz passed his first two post-TUF tests with flying colors, successively submitting Junior Assuncao and Alvin Robinson. Diaz would meet his first true test, however, when he was booked against Kurt “Batman” Pellegrino at Fight Night 13.

As is often the case with a Diaz fight, birthday party, or family trip to Old Country Buffet, there was a preexisting beef that needed to be squashed here. You see, Pellegrino used to be a member of Team Renzo Gracie. Then he wasn’t. Therefore, traitor. It was a rivalry that, uh, rivaled such rivilous rivalries as Duke vs. UNC, Anthony vs. Roth, Zimmer vs. Martinez…you get the point. It was also a fight that Pellegrino was utterly dominating with top control and some vicious ground and pound in the first round. The fact that he was making “bitch ass lady sounds” whilst doing so did not take away from this fact.

But there’s an old 209 adage that, loosely translated, states, “It’s damn near impossible to finish a Stocktonian.” Or perhaps it goes, “It’s damn near impossible for a Stocktonian to finish High School.” In either case, a bloodied and bruised Diaz rallied in the second, and brilliantly countered a Pellegrino takedown by pushing off the fence and positioning his legs to set up a triangle choke in mid-air. And when a Diaz knows he has your number, the taunting begins. Although not necessarily a “walk-off” submission, the fact that Diaz was able to prematurely celebrate with both Stockton standby taunts (the muscle flex and the Heybuddy) is arguably just as badass.

Shinya Aoki vs. Mizuto Hirota – K1 Dynamite!! Power of Courage 2009

Otherwise known as the “talk-off, walk-off” submission.

Speaking of two guys who absolutely hated each other, DREAM lightweight champion Shinya Aoki was rather public about his beef with Sengoku champion Mizuto Hirota in the weeks leading up to their battle at Power of Courage 2009. He called the fight a “disgrace” to his family, pretended to not know who Hirota was, dressed like a schoolgirl; pretty standard stuff, really. Hirota returned fire by mocking Aoki’s fighting style, saying some particularly nasty things about his family, and calling him a “repulsive” person. So when these two clashed heads on New Year’s Eve, we expected that at least one of them would be kicking off 2010 in a hospital bed. As is usually the case, we were spot on.

Hirota never stood a chance, truth be told. Aoki secured a takedown within the opening seconds of the round, worked his way to mount, secured a police-style hammerlock and started cranking. To his credit, Aoki gave Hirota every chance in the world to tap, even warning Hirota what was coming at one point. As the man himself put it:

He was very disrespectful to me before the fight. When I had his arm, he had a chance to tap and he chose not to. I’m not going to give up the submission just because my opponent is too arrogant to not tap. So I broke his arm.

That’s right, a “talk-off” submission. Hirota refused to tap and Aoki obliged with a snap. Taking a page right out of the Diaz playbook, Aoki then proceeded to flip off his injured opponent and the attending audience before disappearing backstage. So technically, this was a “talk-off, flip-off, walk-off” submission.

Dan Miller vs. Dave Phillips – IFL: 2007 Semifinals

Otherwise known as the “Did he Died?” choke.

You guys remember the IFL? What a concept that was, producing such future MMA stars as Roy Nelson and…others. Anyway, here’s Dan Miller playing a game of human hangman with Dave Phillips at the IFL 2007 Semifinals. Phillips clearly ran out of body parts before completing the word Miller picked, but considering that word was “razzmatazz,” we think it’s safe to assume that Miller was cheating.

Ryo Chonan vs. Anderson Silva – Pride Shockwave 2004

Otherwise known as the most shocking walk-off submission in MMA History.

What would a walk-off submission list (or any submission list, really) be without Ryo Chonan’s flying scissor heel hook of Anderson Silva? It had all the classic elements of a great MMA fight; a massive underdog, an ultra slick, multi-promotional champion with dance moves like a golden God, an insane come-from-behind victory, and a submission for the history books. Let’s allow Josh Barnett to talk us through it:

Chonan’s submission was so lightning-quick that he was able to mercifully release the hold before the likely dumbfounded ref could even intervene, sparing the future legend an unnecessary trip to the emergency room in the process. And the look on Chonan’s face after securing the submission? Somewhere between Not Bad Obama and Fuck Yea on the Rage Face scale of self-aware awesomeness.

Not a word of that last sentence made sense.

Chris Lytle vs. Dan Hardy – UFC Live 5

Otherwise known as the final triumph of a sure-to-be Hall-of-Famer, Chris Lytle’s third round guillotining of Dan Hardy may not have been the high-profile victory he could have hoped to go out on (Hardy had dropped his previous 3 contests), but it did contain all of the elements of classic “Lights Out” fight. After handing in his letter of resignation to Dana White at the event’s weigh-ins, Lytle put on an absolute clinic against Hardy, mixing his trademark wild haymakers with some of the more brutal body shots in recent memory to keep Hardy on his heels for the majority of the first round.

Having arguably taken the second round of the back-and-forth slugfest, Hardy attempted to snatch a victory out of Lytle’s hands by securing a takedown at the end of the third. He made a huge mistake, and Lytle made him pay for it almost immediately, securing a tight, mounted guillotine that forced Hardy to tap with under a minute remaining in the fight. It was the first time Hardy had been submitted in the UFC, which is saying something when you consider the three ring circus of subs Georges St. Pierre put him through at UFC 111.

With the victory, Lytle “walked-off” (STRETCH) into the sunset with *two* more performance bonuses, a new motorcycle, and the hearts of MMA fans far and wide.

And finally…

Cody McKenzie vs. Marc Stevens – TUF 12 Ep. 6

Otherwise known as the single greatest victory from the single greatest cast-member in The Ultimate Fighter History, Cody McKenzie’s 16-second signature chokeout of Marc Stevens on TUF 10 was made all the more memorable thanks to Stevens’ pre-fight arrogance and Josh Koscheck’s completely dumbfounded post-fight application of lip balm. The icing on the cake, however, had to be the pure amount of psychological manipulation that this man:

used to set up the fight-ending submission itself.

Rewatching McKenzie vs. Stevens in hindsight is essentially like experiencing Detective Kujon’s revelation at the end of The Usual Suspects. Here you had some (seemingly) harmless dimwit who was so obviously outmatched by Team Koscheck’s #1 pick that even the man himself was joking about the mismatch to any camera within shouting distance in the days leading up to it. “He’s a better wrestler than me, probably a better striker, probably faster too.” — Cody McKenzie.

So what does McKenzie do once the fight actually begins? He rushes across the ring and starts throwing kicks straight out of a Brooklyn McDojo – pretty much the opposite of what one should do against a wrestler – and it isn’t until after said wrestler is being lifelessly rolled into the arms of Steve Mazzagatti (who is apparently worse at recognizing guillotines than he is armbars. Also, kneebars.) that you realize the whole thing was a setup perpetrated by the mind of a tobacco-chewing idiot savant.

The foregoing of the glove tap, the James Thompson-esque gong dash, the kicks — they were nothing more than a series of red herrings designed to lead Stevens down a path that could only end in his untimely exit from the show. McKenzie somehow knew this and played Stevens (and us all) better than Charlie Daniels plays a fiddle. And in that moment, the mixed martial arts world once again became convinced that the Devil really did exist.