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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

‘Locked Down’ Caption Contest: The Winners!


(Images courtesy of AllElbows/VersusLionsgate.)

After wading through 178 entries for Friday’s caption contest, one thing is certain: You guys really love The Human Centipede. Not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, we’re psyched to give away some DVD/Blu-Ray combo packs for the new beat-’em-up flick Locked Down — a film that thankfully does not feature three people who have their gastrointestinal tracts sewn together by an insane German doctor. But first, we feel obligated to print a few captions that just fell short of the glory. Y’know, just to ratchet up the suspense…


Honorable mentions

disastras:
I can feel the tip riiiight… here.

WarpedAcorn:
Josh – "So I just press this button and hold it for 3sec to force a reboot?"
Urijah – "Yeah, I think that’s how these Japanese robots work"

Phil Bologna:
Nice tubes, that was almost a death choke bro.

Ballkick:
Josh Rosenthal: Takeya!….you gotta work outta this!….defend yourself Takeya or I’m gonna stop the fight!……Takeya!….you gotta work outta this!….defend yourself Takeya or I’m gonna stop the fight!……Takeya!….you gotta work outta this!….defend yourself Takeya or I’m gonna stop the fight!……Takeya!….you gotta work outta this!….defend yourself Takeya or I’m gonna stop the fight!…..

cagepotato [no relation]:
On Saturday November 12, 2010, Takeya Mizugaki proudly announced the unveiling of his new MMA clothing line: "NAPOUT"

ghostboner:
Rosenthal: "Urijah, I made it abundantly clear back in the locker room and in my pre fight instructions, any mention of Jake Shields during the fight was strictly prohibited. This victory will be a NC, I’m afraid you’re disqualified."

omunto:
I guess Calgon took him away…

Stumps Magee:
Mizugaki proves to be stiff competition for Faber.

As Good As Anyone:
Mizugaki heard the news about the WEC-UFC merger and immediately fainted. Once again the California kid saved the day by breaking his fall. However the devious Jeff Monson rushes in to instinctively write Anarchy all over Mizugaki’s chest. No class in that guy, no class.

2and0:
Exhausted Mizugaki collapsed, knowing that tonight he had fufilled vows to be the best geisha.

And the winners are…

danomite, for this devastating three-hit combo:
– Congratulations, Mr. Faber, it’s a boy.

– "Guys! Guys! If you insist on doing this then I suggest you try these new condoms I got from Herb Dean"

– See Sen. Reilly? I told you, MMA is completely saf….OH MY GOD HE’S DEAD!

ReX13, for this two-pronged bit of amazingness:
– Once again, a fat man and little boy team up to wreak havok on the Japanese.

– Train some MMA! (like a boss)
Get some ammy fights! (like a boss)
Knock some dudes out! (like a boss)
Decide to turn pro! (like a boss)
Wreck some more dudes! (like a boss)
Get a shiny belt! (like a boss)
Grow my hair out! (like a boss)
Meet Mike Brown! (like a boss)
Take a nap now! (like a boss)
Try that shit again! (like a boss)
Rematch Mike Brown! (like a boss)
Break both hands! (like a boss)
Lose a heartbreaker!

(oh fuck man i can’t fucking do it, man, shit)

Remain laid back! (like a boss)
Start my comeback! (like a boss)
Avoid Mike Brown! (like a boss)
Sign for Aldo! (like a boss)
Take some leg kicks! (like a boss)
Hobble painfully! (like a boss)
Tweet some pictures! (like a boss)
Learn to walk again! (like a boss)
Drop to bantam! (like a boss)
Bring back the old me! (like a boss)
Meet Mizugaki! (like a boss)
Choke his brains out! (like a boss)
Celebrate big win! (like a boss)
Get my drink on! (like a boss)
Call out Dom Cruz! (like a boss)
And pass the fuck out! (like a boss) 

Lysol, for going highbrow with it:
Ever the Renaissance Man, Urijah Faber wins by recreating The Pietà.

destinationblood, for going culinary with it:
The California Kid vs. The California Roll

If you’re one of the four big winners, please e-mail contest@cagepotato.com with your real name and address, and we’ll send your prize out with the kind of speed and efficiency you’ve come to expect from this site. Thanks again to Lionsgate and to everybody who entered!

Cagepotato Comments

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Mr_Misanthropy- November 16, 2010 at 1:53 pm
?????!
As Good As Anyone- November 15, 2010 at 9:56 pm
nice, stumps had the best comment lol
disastras- November 15, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I knew I wouldn't go wrong with a dick joke. It could have been worse; I could have won the DVD.

bacne
Charming Charlie- November 15, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Rex's were the best. Otherwise, the tradition of making terrible comments winners, and winners honorable mentions, continues.
dranokills- November 15, 2010 at 7:11 pm
damn guys you knocked it out the box!

and Rex, you did that (like a BOSS!)
danomite- November 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm
the way you guys keep giving me these dvd's I don't know whether you like my jokes or hate me as a human being. I knew putting in 4 or 5 moderately funny jokes instead of 1 really good one would pay off someday. I'm gonna have to stop entering these or only enter when the really good stuff is a prize or else the nation is going to turn on me.
RwilsonR- November 15, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Rex's A-bomb one was the best! If you can't laugh at something like that...
Ballkick- November 15, 2010 at 3:57 pm
“Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!”
This is ma lucky day,....I made a list on CP and didn't recieve that shitty movie,....I feels like the sun is shinnin outta ma ass! WOOT!
Phil Bologna- November 15, 2010 at 3:29 pm
@rex13

Thanks man, hell of a job. My honorable mention streak is going strong!
Fedor Penn- November 15, 2010 at 3:07 pm
@ArmFarmer

Best comment ever! Give this guy a copy of the next terrible movie you guys give away.
2and0- November 15, 2010 at 3:05 pm
I'm just so honored to be mentioned.
ccman- November 15, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Ditto's to steampunk
steampunk22- November 15, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Sigh.
nickyroose- November 15, 2010 at 1:10 pm
I still think my reference to Dave Chappelle should have earned me this Emmy shoe-in

Mizugaki: Be careful if you ever get a sleeper hold. The next day your anus will really hurt.
ReX13- November 15, 2010 at 1:00 pm
i felt pretty good about this one, thanks guys.  Props to all, especially WarpedAcorn and Phil Balogna, had me rollin.
KarmaAteMyCat- November 15, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Dude the last DVD the UFC made with KIMBO and that asian chick in it was basicly a soft core porn. That bitch isn't attractive either take my word for it.
Fried Taco- November 15, 2010 at 12:39 pm
You guys are gonna love Bai Ling!!!
Viva Hate- November 15, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Dammit, I really could have used that coaster, I mean DVD.
omunto- November 15, 2010 at 12:37 pm
haha @ Rex13's "Like a Boss". That's awesome.
ArmFarmer- November 15, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Dude, look at the prize. There are no winners here...
WarpedAcorn- November 15, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I don't care. I feel like a winner.
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