M-1’s Jerry Millen Mixes Terrible Metaphors with Nonsensical Reasoning, Arrives at Predictable Conclusion
(Okay, someone give him a place, an occupation, and an object and we'll see if he can spin it into a batshit insane analogy before our very eyes.)
So it’s Friday and you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘What would really help me slide on in to the weekend is to sit back, undo that top button, and just unwind with an absolutely idiotic justification of M-1 Global’s recent chicanery, put forth by one of the sleaziest, least sincere people on their payroll.’ Well, you’re in luck. M-1 Global’s Jerry Millen recently sat down for an interview and, as usual, his arguments and reasoning were so ridiculous that they could almost be considered performance art.
For instance, permit him to put this whole Fedor/M-1/UFC mess in perspective with a sports analogy that makes no sense at all:
"The closest thing to it, you've got a basketball and you're at a basketball court -- and I know this sounds silly, but you go to the basketball court with your basketball," Millen tells FanHouse. "And there's a guy there with a pocketful of money and goes 'Hey man, I'm going to buy your ball and you're going to sit in the bench and watch me play ball with your ball.' To me that's a sell-out."
Where to begin…
Okay, in Millen’s analogy M-1 Global is the principal actor and Fedor is, well, the ball. He’s an object that you play with, not a sentient being, not something that is of value for its own sake, but rather something that can be used for a desired end. Actually, now that I think about it that’s probably exactly how Jerry Millen views Fedor, so it works on that level. On every other level is where it fails.
Here’s a better Fedor/basketball analogy, just for fun: Some awesome Russian basketball player owns a partial stake in a small basketball league that very few people give a damn about. An NBA team wants to sign this dude because, despite his unimpressive physique and love of ice cream, he may be one of the greatest players ever. He says he’ll sign, but only if his league gets to plaster their logos all over the arena and share in the profits of any NBA game he plays in. Much laughter follows, then silence, then a lone voice asks, ‘Wait, were you being serious just now?’
It’s still a flawed analogy, as anything that compares other, more traditional league sports to MMA is always going to be, but you get the point. You know who doesn’t? Jerry Millen. He insists that asking for the UFC to “co-promote” with M-1 Global is simply asking for “equal terms,” which just demonstrates that either Millen doesn’t know what the word equal means, or else he’ll say absolutely anything without thinking it through long enough to struggle with internal conflicts.
What M-1 wants isn’t equal. No other UFC fighter gets a co-promotional deal, and for good reason. The UFC doesn’t need any promotional help at this point, certainly not from M-1 Global. There’s nothing equal about one side bringing the marketing machine and established brand name that they’ve spent several years and millions of dollars creating, not to mention the roster of well-known fighters to fill out the rest of the card, while the other side brings one fighter and some logos.
It’s an idiotic argument from the very beginning, which is why it shouldn’t surprise anyone that it’s coming out of Millen’s mouth, where idiotic ideas seem to be constantly jockeying for position with one another. At some point one has to wonder when the good will generally extended to Fedor himself, despite the obvious problems with his management, will finally give way to total frustration at the fact that he allows these people to speak and make decisions for him. Something tells me that day is coming soon, if it's not already here.
DIGG THIS
Comments
831 Son Says:
Fuck all these pussies. Fuck Fedor too if he doesn't sign. Letting these clowns control him and shit, what kind of fag does that.
One Two Says:
millen is a complete douchebag and his name should not be spoken in the same breath as fedor the greatest fighter ever to live.
Fastolph Says:
Hasn't Bas said he wants to murder Millen?
omunto Says:
I want to poop in his mouth
Just A Wrestler Says:
play with your ball. hahaha
Boo Says:
wut?
Koeikan Says:
I HATE THIS FUCKER SOOOO MUCH. I WISH BAS RUTTEN WOULD HAVE KICKED HIS ASS BACK IN PRIDE.
UGH...
He is by far the biggest douche bag in MMA. Listening to him talk is one of the most unpleasant things you can experience. He comes across like a used car salesman and the fact he and the rest of the M1 leeches have sunk their hooks into Fedor is so incredibly frustrating.
The guy is an idiot. M1 only brings Fedor to the table, yet they want a true co-promotions (split income from PPV events, etc). They want their M1 fighters on UFC cards. Man...so angry... I would love to punch that idiot in his stupid fuckface mouth.
Dubbayoo Says:
I wish Fedor had an internet connection..
Biffmiester Says:
Did he just cite from Sarah Palin's Incompetent Analogies for Dummies or something? What the fuck was that?! Epic FAIL!
WagePotato Says:
Too bad Fedor has this backwards, nationalistic pride or else he'd realize the value in leaving M1. It's definitly something lingering from when Ukraine was under communism.
Sorry to get all intellectual there. What i meant to say was GARY IS A FAIRY! Yeah!
imakeutap Says:
I will pay $1 million and allow copromotion in my hitman business if someone would take finklefuck and millen out
Brock Lesnesman Says:
I'm confused, did Cage potato just get bought by ESPN? Is Michael Jordan going to start fighting now, and if so, is this going to be like that old school UFC, 1 boxing glove shit where Michael can use a basketball? I'll put money on him against a gatekeeper in the middle weight division, but not if he cuts to welterweight, I'm no idiot.
omunto Says:
hahaha @ Brock Lesnesman. Your post made me laugh out loud.
KINGMADE Says:
Those calling this guy an idiot, what would you call fedor for listening to this idiot? Who gives a fuck about him anymore. When was his last top 10 opponent? They have been throwing cupcake after cupcake at him. He has eaten a few.
imakeutap Says:
@ Brock Lesnesman
michael jordan hahahaha when i picture him in a cage fighting with a basketball im rollin on the ground
bpd Says:
That's easily the worst basketball metaphor I've seen in almost a week.
godsloneranger Says:
Fedor is just a smart business man.
Capt. Shamrock Says:
He's right though - Fedor is the ball; and just like that fat kid we all knew growing up, he's taking his ball and going home (and will most likely tell his mum about all the mean things we said about him)
Just A Wrestler Says:
For those of you in on the top ten douchebags in MMA i forward this post to here.
My top ten is
1. Vadim Finkelchtein
2. Josh Barnett
3. Michael Bisping
4.Tito Ortiz
5. Brock Lesnar
6. Kit Cope
7. Tim Sylvia
8. Phil Baroni
9. Jamie Varner
10. John McCain (because he hates the sport and he sucks)
Honorable Mentions: This guy (Jerry Millen), Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic, Quentin Jackson, Steve Mazzagatti, BJ Penn, and Jenna Jameson(for being married to Tito)
LoneWolf Says:
That dudes a moron. This is whole thing is getting old, where are the friday Links?!!?
KillDozer Says:
lets start a contest of altering Vadim Finkelchtein's name.
I go first:
Vadim Funkenstein
BEAM Says:
Honestly, Lesnar vs Fedor wouldn't be a very good fight anyway. It'd just be another boring hammer-fist-athon.
I'd much rather see Fedor go ahead and fight Barnett, in Japan or somewhere.
Seoul Brother Says:
This is the same douchebag fuckwit who was made Vice President of Pride F/C USA, right? And boy, wasn't that the ultimate mongolian clusterfuck in MMA - something that made the IFL's slow implosion look tame in comparison.
Look up this little jailhouse bitch's rants in the press online, and see for yourself whether or not he has any goddamned ground to stand on. I'd love to see his credentials and how much and for how long he's been "doing MMA" (in his own fucking words). This man has managed to con Pride F/C in its twilight, and from what he's been boasting about, two things are clear to me: 1) He loves to bitch about Dana White. 2) He is a big fat liability to any organization trying to establish a presence in MMA.
I really hope he gets fed into a wood chipper.
ReDx Says:
I see the basketball analogy like this....
You show up to the basketball court where all the big kids play, you suck and know you can't play with them, the only time you play is with the 5th graders after school. But you have the cool ball so they offer you the most amount of money in your entire life. They say you can put your name on the ball, and tell everybody its your ball, but they wont tell anybody. So everybody knows its your ball, even the cute chick with the big butt sitting on the bleachers. You just have to sit out 6 games, maybe less if they find out the ball isn't as good as they thought and they keep losing, and they give it back to you at the end of the day while you still get to keep the money.
Old_Bald_and_Irish Says:
'Hey man, I'm going to buy your ball and you're going to sit in the bench and watch me play ball with your ball.'
How do you sit "IN" a bench?
Clearly, Millen believs that Dana White has the power to manipulate matter.
Ghost Says:
What stable of fighters do they bring besides Fedor? So, in other words it's "let the UFC do all the work, and we'll sit back and drink vodkas and eat...well, what ever flavor of brauts they eat, and sponge off the UFC and collect of the cheddar"
Hell, I'll co-promote that too! I'll be M-1/2 and and under cut M1 by 50% and one less bottle vodka! Hell, I even throw in my Aunt Susie - she has nice mustache for Fedor!
Old_Bald_and_Irish Says:
Just A Wrestler Says:
For those of you in on the top ten douchebags in MMA i forward this post to here.
1. Vadim Finkelchtein
2. Josh Barnett
3. Michael Bisping
4.Tito Ortiz
5. Brock Lesnar
6. Kit Cope
7. Tim Sylvia
8. Phil Baroni
9. Jamie Varner
10. John McCain (because he hates the sport and he sucks)
_______________________________
So first off
...I'm glad I didn't make the list.
Second, You forgot our friend New York Assemblyman Bob Reilly!
Seoul Brother Says:
The real question is how many packs of cigarettes would it cost to buy
GaryJerry Millen's ass in prison?And his analogy comes down to this: Jerry Millen has one ball, and he'd rather play with his one ball rather than get paid to watch somebody else play with his one ball.
uh huh. OK, buddy.
Clay Aiken called. He wants his look back.
cockchugger Says:
Prestige Worldwide would stand a better chance of co-promoting with the UFC. They at least Have Boats And Hoes. Whereas M1 Global only has Fedor
MIRJITSU Says:
If you walk up to a basketball court that some fuckin body else owns, that built it with their own hands... where the best basketball players play... and you want to play for big money... you gotta play by their rules. BOTTOM LINE!!
bpd Says:
No MMA douchebags list is complete without Ricco Rodriguez and War Machine.
Biffmiester Says:
@ OBI: I second that motion of naming that douchebag Assemblyman who's just stalling MMA in my beloved fuckin' city based on total bullshit. I wanna see UFC in MSG ASAP.
JPfighter-DAMMA Says:
Official updated DAMMA power rankings for July 31, 2009
1. Vadim Finkelfuck (no change)
1. Jerry Millen (debuts at number 1)
1. Fedor Emelianenko (+1)
(uprecendented 3-way-tie for first)
4. Josh Barnett (-1)
5. Tom Atencio (-1)
6. Tim Sylvia (-1)
7. Matt Hughes (-1)
8. BJ Penn (-1)
9. Anderson Silva (-1)
10. Michael Bisping (-1)
DAMMA is the official Douchebag Association of Mixed Martial Arts.
Koeikan Says:
Jerry Millen needs to be at the top of any list.
He has no ties to Fedor, he's a slime ball, and he's far worse than Vadim. Vadim is bad, but he's no Millen.
Any list that doesn't have Millen as the undisputed top douchebag in MMA is null and void.
Chri534. Says:
In Soviet Russia, the bench sits in you.
Streitigkaiser Says:
Fedor is a bitch, fuck him and fuck M-1.
The Truth Says:
RE: the Damma rankings.....
BJ Penn has a certain Summers Eveness about him...
BeastUnleashed Says:
What the fuck. Take the money and get a new ball. WTF. Then when other dude is done you can have two balls. Two more then you started out with Millen you big shithead.
Deadpanda Says:
Millen forgets that the stadium that he wants to 'play with his ball' in is the equivalent of the Staples Center. He should try walking his drunk Russian ass in there with the "world's finest basketball" & watch them shoot his dumb ass for tress passing.
This isn't a communist country comrade, you have to pay for your entry ticket like everyone else.
It just sickens me to see Fedor fade out like this.
Kaibo Says:
Fuck Fedor, i'm over that mess. Dana knows how to run his shit and thank God he'll never let anyone fuck with it.
newdeal Says:
People will watch the ufc regardless of if fedor is there or not. Noone gives a shit about m1 and never will but fedor signed some contract with them and they have him for three more fights so what is he gonna do they own his ass. The problem is that they think he is more valuable than he really is. If anything he is a liability because if he comes in for one fight against lesnar and fucks him up then leaves for good the UFC heavyweight division goes from pretty good back to really weak in the span of one match
Bovice Says:
Fedor seems to surround himself with nothing but fucking morons. Is it because he likes to feel smarter than everybody else, or because he's too goddamn stupid to realize the people around him are dumber than him?