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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Steven Seagal’s Russian “Masterclass” Is a Gift From Above


(Looking like a little more than a glimmer these days, eh Sensei?)

Before we get into this, the glorious return of the Martial Arts Fail of the Week, I’d like to make a couple things clear:

1.) Yes, we here at CagePotato are aware of our long, oft-vitriolic history regarding action movie star, part time police officer/school shooting survival expert, unofficial American ambassador to Russia, tax cheat, and perpetual boil on the ass of MMA, Steven Seagal. We’ve made fun of him a lot, basically — from his weight gain over the years (see above) to his rambling, hallucinatory, endlessly quotable interview snippets to that time Judo Gene made him sh*t his pants – but can you really blame us? THE MAN CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED THE FRONT KICK, FOR GOD’S SAKE.

2.) Despite all we’ve said about Seagal, we are not too big to overlook the man’s well-documented skills and well-earned accolades regarding said skills. He may be a literal shadow of his former self (seriously, has anyone seen him donning anything but black since, like, 2006?), but the fact remains that Seagal is one lethal sumbitch who could probably lay waste to the entire CagePotato staff without (barely) breaking a sweat.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, holy shit, you guys, you NEED to see this video of Seagal’s recent “martial arts masterclass” held in Russia.

Wow.

Woooooooooowwwwww. 

That was….insane. That was “Slap-Jitsu” levels of hilarity, with Kiai master levels of delusion thrown in for good measure. That was like, if I tried to explain the fundamental principles of aikido to someone who knew nothing about martial arts. Using origami. That I made.

I do not have any experience making origami, you guys.

God bless you, Steven Seagal. God bless you for this. For Hard to Kill and the “Anybody seen Richie?” scene in Out for Justice, but mainly for this. I’m going to add no less than 3000 views to this video’s Youtube page in the next couple of days, and if any of you Taters dare to call yourself martial arts fans, you will do the same.

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