(‘Now where’d that pussy G.I. Joe run off to?’)

Thanks to the good people at Round 5, Matt Hughes now has his own action figure. He joins Randy Couture, Tito Ortiz, and “Rampage” Jackson as the few MMA fighters to be immortalized in a figurine with oversized head, hands, and feet. That’s how you know you’ve made it in this business.

While Round 5 has done an excellent job of capturing the essence of Matt Hughes, they’ve also succeeded at freaking me out. Having one of these in my home would ensure that I never get a good night’s sleep again. I’d constantly be worried that I would wake up in the middle of the night and the Matt Hughes figurine would be standing on my chest, hands on hips, watching and judging me. Look at his eyes. Notice how they seem to follow you. That’s some Twilight Zone shit right there.

Anyway, Hughes is happy with it, according to a recent blog post at Matt-Hughes.com. He’s also trying to split his time between preparing for his bout with Thiago Alves and farming. Seriously:

First I want to apologize for not getting the blog up as quick as I wanted. Been working out three times a day and trying to help my brother plant corn this week. We’ve got all the anhydrous on and only about 130 acres of corn in the ground. So now we just have to wait for it to dry up.

Been training down at the gym, that’s going great. Robbie’s getting ready for a fight. Jeremy Horn is also there and brought three of his own guys with him to train for his upcoming UFC fight. So I’ve been somewhat burning the candle at both ends and also trying to spend time with the family.

Round 5 has released their action figures and I think they turned out really good. We got a couple hundred of them in and we’re going to sell them from the store.

Spending time with the family, training three times a day, planting corn — are there even that many hours in the day? Say what you will about Hughes, but don’t call him lazy. Honestly, don’t do it. If you do the action figure comes to life and claws out your eyes. I think there’s a gypsy curse involved.

Those gypsies. They ruin it for everybody.