stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

Meet Kimbo’s K-1 Broadcast Buddy: “The Voice”


(What a range of honest facial expressions.)

When I first heard that Kimbo Slice would be helping with commentating duties at this weekend’s K-1 World Grand Prix, I immediately wondered where he would fall on the scale of fighters-turned-broadcasters.  Obviously he’s not going to be a Randy Couture or Kenny Florian.  Anyone who saw his dour appearance on Jimmy Kimmel knows that.  But could he maybe be as inept, yet hilarious as the “Rampage” Jackson/Don Frye duo was?

Then I read the official press release and realized one of his broadcast partners will be Michael “The Voice” Schiavello.  Suddenly, it seems like Kimbo is going to be far from the worst sportscaster at the table on Saturday night.   If you don’t know, Schiavello’s an Australian commentator who’s done K-1, Dream, even the Beijing Olympics, and has never shied away from an unfunny quip in any of those jobs.  Check out some of his favorite lines.  As in, his favorite lines that he said, which he was kind enough to compile for us on his official website:

"There are two things I know for sure: Britney Spears will never win Mother of The Year and Albert Kraus didn’t win that fight!"

"Two things I know for sure: we will never beat Amy Winehouse in a drinking contest, and Texeira definitely won that fight."

"He’s been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend."

"He wears more hair product than Bon Jovi."

"He’s proving harder to catch than Osama Bin Laden!"

"Those punches have less weight behind them than Kate Moss."

"If punches were people, he’d be China!"

"Open the fridge, he`s out cold!"

"He’s been scored on more times than my ex-girlfriend."

"He’s been mounted more times than Jenna Jameson!"

"He’s been mounted more times than a taxidermist."

Please note, these are his favorites, the ones he’s most proud of.  Clearly Schiavello is a fan of the obvious, and sometimes outdated, pop culture reference.  He also isn’t entirely sure what a taxidermist does, but he knows it somehow involves mounting.

The point here is, with this guy on the mic next to him, nothing Kimbo says is going to sound too dumb.  You could even say that Schiavello makes Mike Goldberg look like Howard Cosell!  What?  No good? 

Okay, let me try another one: Schiavello uses more unfunny clichéd analogies than…  Damn.  This is harder than it looks.  Touché, Schiavello.

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
Anonymous- December 11, 2008 at 6:08 pm
just watched a tape of the show , fuck me !!!

really wish shiavello would shut the fuck up and just call the fight

wtf is with kimbo being there ? absolutely nothing to do with K-1 , isnt a great fighter and the dumb fuck called japan a city

was totally fucking ridiculus listen to these fuckwits go on and on and not concentrating on the fights

THANK FUCKING GOD FOR VOLUME CONTROL

just annoying that the volume had to be down because of this , couldnt hear the crowd etc

Anonymous- December 9, 2008 at 4:26 pm
This guy is a fucking retard, he almost ruined the Contender Asia finale with his inane commentary and grating voice
Acrocerid- December 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Whoa; the Shiavello nuthuggers come flying out of the woodwork!?!
Anonymous- December 7, 2008 at 6:08 pm
im aussie and i cant fucking stand shiavello commentating

its so fucking annoying with all the crap he says and goes on about

ffs , its a fight , just call the fight without all the other crap

and the way he yells and screams when the action heats up with his nasal high pitch voice , fuck me , worse than darrel eastlakes
Jburg- December 6, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Or, dare I say, a metaphoric rise? eh, eh?

Fuck you.
Jburg- December 6, 2008 at 9:54 pm
hmm the reply button is broken, and allowed me to go back in time when commenting. Wonderful.

You know I was really just joking before with the fuck you, but seriously cagepotato, fuck you. That recent update blows more than "the voice".
Jburg- December 6, 2008 at 9:52 pm
"Imbecile Says:
Fri, 12/05/2008 - 13:20

Why are you picking on "The Voice" and his catch phrases? Don't you know he is on a meteoric rise right now?!"

Or, dare I say, a metaphoric rise? eh, eh?

Fuck you.
Anonymous- December 6, 2008 at 8:29 pm
I can't bear to listen. he is a sexist, arrogant, unfunny pig whose lines dont even call the shots accurately. its even worse when he and and his co-commentator go off on tangents about themselves and distract the audience from the fight on the screen. Embarrassing to Australia. And his ex-girlfriend lines are so ridiculous - you go Shiv tell the world about your sex life because its quite clear that all you could get are prostitutes.
squirrelnuts- December 6, 2008 at 5:01 am
schiavello is a dickhead. i was watching an Aussie kickboxing show once with my mate and one of the fighters was eating a whole barrage of punches, then this from Schiavello:

"OHHHHHH! HE'S WEARING MORE LEATHER THAN FONZIE!"

They guy is a dead-set idiot. Irritating as hell, i'd rather listen to Woody Allen call a fight than this wanker.
Saul Goode- December 6, 2008 at 3:27 am
Schiavello is the man! Plus, all those comments about his ex-girlfriend are true...
Mma87- December 6, 2008 at 1:16 am
What the hell??? I'm watching the k1 and this guys' methaphors are truly irrelevant "more combos than a chinese restaurant" what type of ish is that? Makes mike goldberg's methaphors sound sound less like a douche... at least the potato gave a fair warning. Good looking out potato!
DazMon- December 6, 2008 at 12:53 am
Shiv is a living legend, having a go at him is just making you look kind of sad, it is rather futile. I think in about 3 months you will regret this.
gary- December 5, 2008 at 10:29 pm
There are two things i know for sure: Tito got the herp from jenna and he won that fight!
Big Kev- December 5, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Kimbo is a joke we all know this but how is he still making money off this sport ?
Sam- December 5, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Don't forget,

"His leg kicks are nastier than a pig having sex with an elephant"

...not joking.
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 8:07 pm
the last person to take a shot to the chin like that was my mother! bodabing!
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 8:03 pm
To bag Mike Schiavello as a commentator is typical of you nasal, smart arsed, dumb yanks.

Get a life and try to find a more knowledgeable, entertaining, commentator for K-1.

We don't need Kimbo, whoever the f@*k he is.

Mike your loyal fans back home willl be tuning in and loving it!

The Big Scurreg!

Bugo- December 5, 2008 at 7:58 pm
I'm surprised that the "He's got more punch than a high school prom" line isn't one of his favorites... I've heard him say it at least 10 times in K-1
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Wow, what's with this?! How can you rat on shiv's commentating! I love it! If anything, he makes some fights MORE interesting. Author of the article is...?
Russ- December 5, 2008 at 7:02 pm
LMAO steve
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 5:36 pm
THE BIG KABOSH!!!!! Bring it on with Shiv and Hoost!!!!!!! cagemashedpotate has nothing betta to write about than bag a guy who has done so much for the sport. poor form cagemashedpotato. Looking forward to Shiv entertaining us in his usual fashion. GOODNIGHT IRENE!!!
Steve W.- December 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm
The man deserves a shirt!
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I am a huge fan of The Voice. Nobody in the world does it better and nobody knows K-1 better. Can't wait to hear him on the commentary tonight.
Anonymous- December 5, 2008 at 4:54 pm
i personally dont like shiavello commentary and usually watch the shows with the volume turned off

now that kimbo will be part of it , its even more reason to turn the volume off

dont get me wrong , shiavello has a wealth of knowledge, just dont like his commentary style
Jess D-Money- December 5, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Schiavello is a legend why pay out on a guy who has commentated K-1 for yearz and The Contender and dream and the Olympic Games, not Rogan or Quadros or Ranallo or anyone else can compare to that. i love his fresh approach and hiz humor plus his fight knowledge is exceptional.
CagePotatoMMA